Under the shackles of feudal society, the inferiority of men and women has become the main theme of society. They are bound in an invisible cage, powerless to resist, unable to fight, and can only compromise and retreat in the surging tide.
Nowadays, many people believe that the life of ancient women seems to be easy, and they do not need to bear the pressure of their careers and the burden of their families like modern women, but only need to be a good wife and mother at home to spend their lives.
However, this is the state of life that many women in modern times seek but cannot achieve.
In ancient societies, the dream of a good wife and mother was not an easy task. Because women have no place in the family and cannot pursue the life they want, there is no way to talk about happiness.
In ancient times, marriage was based on "the order of the parents and the words of the matchmaker", and the lack of understanding between men and women, and even the appearance of each other, this kind of marriage system is worrying.
For men, they can easily take concubines or divorce wives, and even use the "seven outs" as a reason to override women. These are the unfair treatment of women in ancient society.
There is a passage in the Dadai Li Ji Ben Ming that women in ancient times were forced to leave in seven situations, namely: not honoring their parents, being unable to have children, being lascivious and jealous, being sick, talking too much, stealing their husband's property, and giving their husband's things to their parents.
This system is unbelievable to modern people and also reveals the tragic fate of women in ancient times.
It is not easy for a poor man to divorce his wife, as the family may not be able to afford to remarry. However, the ancients had a saying that "it is better to die poor than to marry a wife", so what does "wife" mean?
Why are people so ostracized? The term "wife" may not be very common in modern society, but it has a long history of origin. According to legend, the origin of the term "biological wife" can be traced back to the famous diplomat Su Wu in the Western Han Dynasty.
Su Wu was born around 140 BC, the first year of the founding of Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty. At that time, the Western Han Dynasty and the Xiongnu were in a state of fierce war, and Su Wu's father, Su Jian, followed the general Wei Qing to attack the Xiongnu three times and made many military achievements.
Su Wu's career gradually unfolded under his father's exploits, from being awarded the position of Lang official, to being promoted to the stable supervisor of Yuzhong, responsible for the affairs of horses, eagles and dogs in the palace, his life was plain and fulfilling.
However, there will always be a turning point in life, and when Su Wu was forty years old, Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty promoted him to Zhonglang General and sent him to the Xiongnu. For Su Wu, the task of sending the Xiongnu this time did not seem complicated, after all, the Xiongnu at that time had bowed their heads and admitted defeat and released the previously detained envoy Lu Chongguo and others.
His task was to send back the Xiongnu envoys who had been detained in the Han Dynasty according to the instructions, and then reward the Xiongnu with the goods they brought.
Su Wu's loyalty and tenacity were admirable, but after completing his mission, he was detained by the Xiongnu due to an accident. Despite the trials of life and death, he remained unmoved and firmly defended his country and faith.
After being released back to the Han Dynasty, he wrote to his former friend Li Ling, persuading him to return to his homeland, but Li Ling chose to stay in the Xiongnu. In this letter, Li Ling mentioned "having a wife", which was an extremely rare thing in ancient times, and it highlighted Su Wu's noble sentiments and unyielding loyalty.
When Su Wu was captured, the old mother in the family had passed away, and the wife remarried someone else, which is rare in ancient and modern times. In the annotation of Li Shan in the Book of Han, will"Giving birth to a wife"Explained as Su Wu's young wife, he was no longer at home at that time, because Su Wu was famous"Giving birth to a wife"Gradually it refers to a woman who is still with her husband.
In ancient times, for various reasons, there were many wives who were called "biological wives" when their husbands were alive, such as being detained and unable to return home like Su Wu, such as Luo Bingwang who participated in the rebellion against Wu Zetian and disappeared after his defeat, and like Confucius, he directly divorced his wife.
These wives are considered by society to be "biological wives" because of their husbands, and are distinguished from "widows" after the death of their husbands.
It is better to die than to have a wife"The ancients believed that wives had problems with their nature if they could abide by feudal morality"Three from four virtues"and will not be suspended. Therefore, it is considered unlucky to marry a biological wife.
However, widows passively become widows and have no problems with their nature (except for Pan Jinlian and others). Modern people's views on wives are very different from those of ancient times, and they believe that the moral condemnation and unfair treatment of women in ancient times are horrifying.
Therefore, even if the ancient woman had a bad marital status, in order not to be divorced, she did not dare to have any resistance, so she could only swallow her anger.
In the past, women would face the possibility of being suspended if they resisted a little, not only suffering physical harm, but also being attacked by society, and the psychological pressure was huge.
But now the society has changed, and there are more and more divorced women, some of them even taking the initiative, and this proportion is not low. Although there are still some people who adhere to the concept of "it is better to die poor than to have a wife", this does not stop the progress of society, and divorced women are no longer considered "biological wives".
With the development of society, this concept has become obsolete and no longer in line with the trend of the times. Divorce does not mean that the woman must be at fault, and many are due to the immaturity of the man, and the woman really can't bear it, so she can only choose to divorce.
After all, there is only one life, and if marriage does not bring you happiness and there is no love between the two parties, then breaking up may be a relief to find their own life.
Nowadays, divorce is not something to be ashamed of, and there is not too much moral blame. But before making this decision, if you have children, be sure to think more about them.
Because marriage is not only a matter for two people, but also related to the happiness of children. Note: References: "The Great Dai Li Ji", "Han Shu", etc.