There is an ancient adage about marriage that is quite popular:
Marrying a man is like marrying a chicken, once a moth to the lampstand. ”
This sentence may be a light-hearted joke, but it is full of a common phenomenon in marriage: between husband and wife, there are always unsatisfactory moments. For middle-aged couples, this phenomenon is even more pronounced.
Middle-aged couples often have onerous family responsibilities: raising children, caring for elderly parents, and dealing with career challenges. At the same time, long-term relationships make the relationship between each other gradually become dull and boring, and any small negligence may cause family unrest and instability.
Therefore, how to coordinate and tolerate middle age has become a crucial and critical moment for both husband and wife. There are a few key points that are particularly important during this critical period. Only when it is handled properly can the husband and wife successfully overcome the mid-life crisis and continue to move towards the second half of life in harmony and happiness.
Middle-aged couples tend to put most of their energy into making money. A thought-provoking investigation has attracted a lot of attention on Zhihu:
When do you feel the most defeated when you reach middle age? ”
One of the most heart-wrenching answers is:
When I can't pay my child's tuition, tuition fees, and travel fees. My parents were sick and went to the hospital, but I could only hide outside the door of the ward, clutching my shriveled pockets and crying secretly. ”
This answer is a profound reflection of the real life pressures faced by middle-aged people. Let's take my friend Lao Zhou as an example, he is in such a predicament. After the struggle in the first ten years, Lao Zhou thought that life was very good, so he chose to "lie flat". However, as children grow up, the cost increases; The elderly, however, are in need of financial support due to illness. This made Lao Zhou tortured. And his wife was embarrassed by his choice.
However, looking back and complaining, the passage of time still cannot change reality. As stated in the Korean movie "Parasite":
Money irons out all the folds of life. ”
In middle age, the tremendous increase in the stress of life makes financial support crucial. Couples should work together to devote their time and energy to making money and building a career. Only in this way can we ensure the growth and future of our children, take care of the health needs of our parents, and at the same time let ourselves have no worries.
Tolerance and understanding are extremely important qualities in marriage. Xiaoqin, a girlfriend in the circle of friends, is an example of happiness. She always smiles and shares her happiness secret:
To let go of others is to let go of yourself. ”
Xiaoqin's family life seems to be happy, but there are also unknown troubles behind it. In her early years, she gave up her job and relied on her own social security to support her students. And her husband, although he has a good income, is a typical rural phoenix man, who is under pressure from his family and relatives.
In the first ten years of marriage, Xiaoqin and her husband had frequent quarrels over money and family relationships. In particular, the issue of her husband's filial piety brought the relationship between the two to an impasse. However, as she grew older, Xiaoqin gradually understood one truth: it is difficult for adults to change. She learned to accept and understand her husband, let go of her harshness on him, and reduced his pressure. In the end, the relationship between the couple was more harmonious and the family was happier.
When people reach middle age, husband and wife have gone through many years together, and they have a deeper understanding of each other. At this time, we should learn to accept each other completely and tolerate each other from the heart. In times of greatest stress in life, mutual support and understanding of the heart and mind are more important than any money.
In general, the most important thing between middle-aged couples is not the complexity of material things, but the foundation of financial support and emotional tolerance. Only by working together to make money, understanding and tolerating each other, can a marriage stand the test of time and become stronger and more durable.