Regarding marriage, there was once a long-standing joke:
Whoever you marry regrets it, and whoever you marry cheats.
Although it is a joke, it also illustrates a truth about marriage:Between husband and wife, there are always unsatisfactory times
This is even more pronounced for middle-aged couples.
Middle-aged couples, old and young, and a career crisis in the middle, are the most difficult times in life. The relationship between husband and wife has become dull and boring because of the time they get along, but if someone is not careful, the family will be uneasy.
Therefore, when people reach middle age, it is a critical moment to test the coordination ability and tolerance ability of both husband and wife.
So, what is the most important thing between middle-aged couples?
Here are the following. As long as it is handled properly, you can safely and smoothly get through the various crises in middle age, and walk towards the second half of your life in harmony and happiness.
one
Middle-aged couples focus more on making money
There was once a heart-wrenching investigation on Zhihu:
When do you feel the most defeated when you reach middle age?
The high vote answer is:
When I can't get my child's tuition, tuition fees, and travel fees.
My parents were sick and went to the hospital, but I could only hide outside the door of the ward, clutching my shriveled pockets and crying secretly.
It's heart-wrenching and realistic. This is a portrayal of the real life of many middle-aged people.
My friend Lao Zhou has been suffering from this kind of psychological torture recently. In the first ten years of his career, Lao Zhou felt that his life was good and chose to lie down, but now the children are older and have to spend money, and the old people have to spend money when they are sick, and the tortured Lao Zhou is in pain. Lao Zhou's wife also complained that Lao Zhou certainly didn't listen to his advice.
But it is impossible to turn back time, and no matter how much you complain, it will not help.
In the Korean movie "Parasite", there is a classic line that says:
Money irons out all the folds of life.
Poor couples mourn everything, life is the accumulation of firewood, rice, oil, salt, sauce, vinegar and tea, and the contradictions between middle-aged couples are ninety percent caused by money.
When people reach middle age, the pressure of life increases dramatically, and the greatest sense of security comes from having sufficient financial support.
Middle-aged couples should put their time and energy into working hard to earn money and work hard in their careers, only in this way can they have peace of mind, support their old age, and be fearless.
II. II. II
Husbands and wives should be more tolerant and stop demanding too much of each other
My best friend Xiaoqin is the kind of woman who lives happily in the circle of friends. Every day, you either have a happy party with friends, or you are happy to relax, even if you are at home alone, three meals a day are serious and full of fireworks.
Ask her the secret, and she always laughs and says, you just remember one sentence:
To let go of others is to let go of yourself.
Don't always think about changing your husband, whoever suffers will change, you will change if you are in pain, and if he can't meet your requirements, you will lower your requirements.
Xiaoqin never hides the little things about her family.
In her early years, in order to accompany her studies, she quit her job, bought her own social security, and retired in the future, and she has a little pension.
The husband's income is good, but a typical rural phoenix man, a foolish and filial man, relatives and friends in the rural hometown, including the man's parents, are staring at the man's wallet.
Ten years before marriage, Xiaoqin was in charge of money, and because of the man's foolishness, the couple quarreled and contradicted a lot. The people of the in-laws also pick their noses and eyes at Xiaoqin, how to look at it and how it is not pleasing to the eye, and the relationship is very stiff.
Xiaoqin has also been entangled, and she always resented men for not being reasonable, not knowing how to refuse, and not knowing the priority of the small family and the big family.
But when people reach middle age, Xiaoqin slowly figures it out, has more understanding and understanding of men, and no longer requires men to cut off from those seven aunts and eight aunts in the countryside.
Xiaoqin was put down, the man's psychological burden was also reduced, and the relationship between the couple was better.
It is very difficult for an adult to change unless he wants to.
When people reach middle age, the husband and wife have walked hand in hand for many years, and they have already had a real understanding of each other, and what the other party can change has already changed. What cannot be changed, it cannot be changed again.
At this time, complete acceptance and tolerance from the heart are particularly important.
Middle-aged is the most stressful time in life, and the most important thing for middle-aged couples is to think in one place and make efforts in one place.
Work together to earn more money and give life a more solid sense of security.
Don't expect to change each other, be more understanding and tolerant of each other, and have a flexible marriage to be resilient.
This is the most important thing between middle-aged couples. February** Dynamic Incentive Program