The convergence of the three views is the one who is all the way, and it is the consensus of many people to intersect with the people who have the same three views. However, everyone's experience and environment are different, and it is difficult to achieve a completely consistent concept. Therefore, all good relationships need to be well cared for.
In a truly mature relationship, the important thing is not that the three views are completely compatible, but that there is no contention between right and wrong. This kind of indisputable right and wrong is reflected in the greatest filial piety to parents. A netizen was once asked what he regretted the most, and he shared a story about getting along with his mother.
The netizen's mother, who is in her seventies, often queues up at the supermarket early in the morning for a few free eggs, despite the fact that she suffers from arthritis and is exhausted every time she returns. However, netizens often blame their mothers for these trivial matters. The mother also has some superstitious habits, such as some health articles, which are accused of shame by her son.
Until one day, the mother spent 500 yuan to buy a set of black hair essence and asked her son how it worked. The son was about to open his mouth to reprimand, but saw that his mother still had gray hair on her head. At that moment, it dawned on him that his mother was not wrong, but she was old. The ideas he had been indoctrinated in as a child now seemed out of place, and he finally understood his mother.
As children, we are often hesitant to appreciate the good intentions of our parents. We tend to easily find fault with our parents and point out right and wrong again and again. However, in the end, all we may get is the silence of our parents. According to the Book of Rites, what is needed for the "raising of filial sons" is to first "enjoy their hearts". While we are entangled in right and wrong, parents need warmth and companionship more.
Our parents' ideas and behaviors may seem outdated to us, but they are the traces of their life's experiences. Rather than arguing, it is better to empathize. Understanding the limitations of parents, understanding their vulnerability, and learning to tolerate is the true meaning of filial piety.
No matter how high or low, it is the best respect for friends. There is a saying that others respect you, not because you are excellent, but because he is also outstanding. As people mature, they will not easily impose their own principles on others, nor will they erase the light of others when they shine. It is often said that true respect is about respecting each other when you are with each other, regardless of your status.
Not long ago, a self-a**author @ me shared her story with her roommate. The roommate grew up in a well-to-do family, and even before college, he traveled to many countries, and his academic performance has always been impressive, winning scholarships almost every year. The author, Xiao Xiang, was born in a small town and did not have a particularly outstanding talent. But because they met in the dormitory and were both passionate about literature, they soon became friends. The roommate prefers Western-style food, while Xiao Nian prefers roadside snacks; Roommates like to read foreign classics, but Xiao Nian loves Wang Xiaobo's humorous and sharp words. The two have been together for four years, but they have never had an argument, and Xiao Nian once thought that he and his roommate were like-minded bosom friends.
However, it wasn't until after graduation that Xiao Nian met more friends in the social circle and saw more complex human nature. She gradually realized that her roommate had always been tolerant of her different ideas and cared about this deep friendship. Many times, we look forward to making like-minded friends, but what is more rare than getting along at the beginning is the compromise and tolerance that both parties make to maintain the friendship.
Chaplin, the famous comedy master, once had a baseball fan friend. The friend was always happy to share his baseball collection with Chaplin, and Chaplin was always happy to accompany him. Even in the end, Chaplin specifically searched for his favorite baseball star for this friend and obtained an autograph and gave it to him. Despite the disparity in status and different interests, Chaplin's intentions are touching. Even after gray hair, this friend still cherished this friendship in his heart: "It is my greatest luck that I can become Chaplin's friend in this life." He taught me true respect and friendship, and his light brightened my life. ”
People often lament that people are easy to be cold, and say that closeness requires like-mindedness, but in fact, there are no two people in the world who can completely match their thoughts and actions. The pursuit of common ground is important, but how to deal with differences is a test of human wisdom. Precious friendship has no hierarchy and never looks high or low. What is really important is not that the three views are consistent, but that they manage each other carefully and experience together. Often on the journey of life, you and I help each other until we finally do not abandon each other, which is the most precious friendship.
Not fighting to win or lose is the greatest tenderness to your partner. In an episode of "Wonderful Story", a debater shared his experience. Once, he and his girlfriend had an argument over a trivial matter, and both parties insisted that they were right, and neither of them would budge. As a debater, it is easy for him to find out his girlfriend's logical flaws, so he lists arguments one by one to refute the other party.
However, unexpectedly, his girlfriend was even more angry after hearing this. At this time, he realized that he might be able to overwhelm the other party with reason, but what his girlfriend needed was warmth and thoughtfulness. When we are young, we are accustomed to strong quarrels, always thinking that we are absolutely right to crush each other, and from this we gain a sense of spiritual superiority. After years of baptism, I realized that in daily chores, respect is better than competition to maintain a relationship.
The truly moving story is not the climax, but the warm picture created by the two of them in ordinary years. Zhou Youguang, the father of Hanyu Pinyin, and his wife Zhang Yunhe, one is a famous linguist, and the other is a noble woman with a prominent background. Despite their very different backgrounds, the two never compete against each other. They have different preferences for each other, one loves Europe**, and the other loves Chinese tradition**; One prefers coffee, the other prefers tea. However, the two never compare their interests with each other, and will find time to accompany each other in the things they like. Despite occasional disputes, Zhou Youguang never gets angry, he never blames his wife with accusatory words, and he does not show off his knowledge. If you want to ask the mystery of the long-term happiness of their marriage, it is probably nothing more than compromise and respect in the trivial matters of life.
Writer Ai Xiaoyang once said: It is not easy to talk about the three views and compete for right and wrong in intimate relationships, but should know how to self-reflect and cherish, realize that intimacy is more important than correctness, and tolerance is better than transformation. Because what is even rarer than falling in love at first sight is that it will accompany you for life. There is a good proverb that says that all relationships in this world are based on your relationship with yourself. The maturity of a relationship is inseparable from the wisdom and cultivation of the inner individual. Only by knowing how to seek common ground while reserving differences, and knowing how to respect and understand each other, can the relationship be warmer and more lasting in the years.
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