After the Lunar New Year holiday, we ushered in a new working day, and the office was full of anecdotes from the Chinese New Year, however, unlike the atmosphere of pleasant conversation with others, Xiaoyan sat there silently, looking sluggish.
I walked up to her and asked softly, "Xiaoyan, you don't seem to be very happy, is it because you came home for the Chinese New Year and were urged to marry by your family?" ”
Xiaoyan smiled bitterly, and then said: "I am indeed a little unhappy, not because I was urged to get married, but because I found that no one urged me to get married this year." ”
I was shocked that this was a new discovery. So, I patiently listened to Xiaoyan tell her story of her experience during the Chinese New Year.
Xiaoyan is a recognized beauty in our company, and the so-called "leftover girl", she is 39 years old this year and has been alone.
It's not that she doesn't want to get married, on the contrary, she longs for someone to be with her for the rest of her life, but her previous choices were too picky, resulting in many missed opportunities.
Xiaoyan is not a local, she is from Shaanxi, and came to our company through the national government after graduating from university. She just had the attitude of trying it out, but she didn't expect it to be successful.
Her appearance made our colleagues shine, she has a tall figure, fair skin and a pair of big watery eyes, and her personality is also very likable, and she quickly became the focus of everyone.
She was only 24 years old at the time, a girl of the same age.
As time passed, the people around her began to introduce her to men, all of whom were good men. However, for some reason, she saw one after another, but she always felt dissatisfied.
At that time, her requirements were quite high, hoping that the other party's parents would have stable jobs, the family had real estate, and the man must be a civil servant, with a height of more than 180, and his appearance and personality must also meet her standards.
Such conditions are indeed a bit harsh for most people, so many men who look good are rejected by her one by one.
One of the most regrettable is that there is a young man who works in a bank, his family is quite advantageous, he has many properties, the only thing that makes people find fault is that he is only 173 cm tall, and he has a more introverted personality, which makes Xiaoyan reject him without hesitation after a meeting.
And another female colleague in our company, Li Qian, although she does not have Xiaoyan's outstanding appearance, but she is more pragmatic, and when she saw that Xiaoyan was not interested in that young man, she immediately found someone to introduce him.
As a result, the two of them really got together and now have two children. Li Qian drives her car worth 400,000 yuan to and from work every day, and her life is quite comfortable.
Xiaoyan sighed lightly, lamenting that she was once picky, but she was also sincerely happy for Li Qian's happiness.
The other man was also a pity. He works in the tax office, is about 180 cm tall and has a property at home. Unfortunately, his mother was not part of the system, but sold clothes in a shopping mall. This made Xiaoyan feel dissatisfied.
Despite persuasion, Xiaoyan agrees to date him for a while. However, during a National Day holiday, Xiaoyan wanted him to accompany her on a trip, but a dispute broke out because the guy's mother needed him to help look at the stall, which eventually led to a breakup.
Xiaoyan does not feel sad, she firmly believes that it is not important to miss one, and believes that there will be better people in the future. However, as time passed, she came to realize that she was getting older and anxious about finding a satisfying partner.
At the age of 30, she was still able to maintain her composure, but by the age of 32, she began to feel panic. She let go of her height requirements, and only hoped that the other party would have a stable job within the system, and could even accept someone who was two or three years younger than herself.
However, quality men seem to have become famous, especially within the system, where women are far more represented than men. In addition, Xiaoyan ruled out the choice of professions such as teachers, which made the range of options even narrower.
In this small county town, once a handsome man appears, everyone's eyes will be focused on him. However, when you ask, you either already have a partner, or the age difference is too great.
As Xiaoyan grew older, she had to readjust her standards and announce that she would accept a second marriage partner, as long as the conditions were suitable, the same age, and no children. However, the number of such high-quality second-married men is scarce, and they are more likely to choose younger or equally divorced partners.
In the end, Xiaoyan's minimum requirement for the other half became to have a job within the system, and other conditions were negotiable. Despite this, she is still a self-respecting person who is reluctant to compromise and wants to find someone who can speak a common language and resonate with.
Around her, there is a man named Zhang Bin who has been secretly in love with her, constantly passing messages through colleagues, and also looking for opportunities to confess to her, but Xiaoyan has no feelings for him.
Zhang Bin is from a rural area, has a property in the county, and is a civil servant himself. Although these conditions are not bad, he is less than 17 meters, the body is on the fat side, and the appearance is not outstanding. People generally think that he is an honest man and is kind to people, but Xiaoyan has no feelings for him.
Zhang Bin only has Xiaoyan in his heart, and he is not interested in the objects introduced by others. In a flash, he was 38 years old.
The single status of these two girls makes people anxious, but Xiaoyan doesn't seem to care about it.
Every year during the Chinese New Year, Xiaoyan is urged to marry by her family when she returns to her hometown, and relatives and friends go into battle one after another, and sometimes even forcibly arrange blind dates. However, Xiaoyan was completely unmoved by this.
A few years ago, the epidemic just broke out, and Xiaoyan found an excuse to stay in the dormitory of the unit for the New Year.
Last year, when the epidemic eased a little, she returned to her hometown, but her parents urged her to marry again, and even persuaded her to be with Zhang Bin. However, Xiaoyan was disgusted by her family's urging and eventually got into an argument with her mother and returned to Shanxi ahead of schedule.
During the Chinese New Year this year, Xiaoyan was worried about facing the urging of her family to get married. However, to her surprise, her family and friends did not mention marriage and finding a partner again this time. Until the day she left, her parents only cared about taking care of her brother's children and didn't bother to pay attention to her affairs.
This made Xiaoyan feel even more uneasy, she used to feel irritated when she was urged to marry, but now she feels panicked. Because in the past two years, colleagues and acquaintances have stopped mentioning this topic, as if it has become a sensitive taboo. Only her colleague, the eldest sister, occasionally cares.
Xiaoyan began to wonder if she had failed, and she asked me, "Is it a life of failure not to get married for the rest of your life?" Did my parents already treat me as an irrelevant being? February** Dynamic Incentive Plan
I comforted her and told her to just go with the flow and follow your heart. Marriage is not something to be proud of, and there is no need to be inferior to being single. Marriage is not the only happiness, some people are married but not happy, if they are reluctant to marry because of the eyes of others, that kind of happiness is also hypocritical.
Looking at her blank expression, I couldn't help but feel a hint of envy. For so many years, although she is single, she still maintains a slender figure and exquisite appearance, no different from when she was young. And women of the same age as her may have been tempered by married life and lost their former vitality.
I used to feel the challenges of marriage deeply, and even thought that if I could not get married for the rest of my life, then I would not experience so many difficulties. This feeling reminds me of the metaphor of the siege, where the people on the outside are eager to enter, and those on the inside are eager to escape. People are always envious of what others have, but at the same time they are envied by others. As someone who has experienced it, I would like to ask everyone, do you think it is good to get married?