On the eighth day of the Lunar New Year, the days of calling for wind and rain at home are over, and I am about to go to the unit to be called. Broken thoughts, Beijing is raining lightly today, and the cloudy and cold weather loves to make people think about this and that.
Every time I go home during the Spring Festival, do you have a deep sense of powerlessness in life......In a remote rural area, parents who are illiterate and never speak at all, want to try to change everything, but try their best, maybe this life is like this, and there is nothing to do about life....
For those who take the public examination, it seems that since the year they graduated from college, they have worked hard for the public examination, and it seems that going ashore has become the only goal in life. Before I went ashore, I always felt that my life was incomplete and something was missing. And once you start to take the public examination, the meaning of life may only be left to go ashore, and life will always stop in the year of the public examination. Since preparing for the public exam, you have a "sense of unworthiness" in your heart about everything. When doing nail art, I will think "I should wait until I am admitted to the exam", and when I buy new clothes, I will think "it is better to wait until I am admitted to buy it", and when I encounter any happy things, I will think that the entrance examination has not yet landed, the corners of my mouth will unconsciously rise, and there is a sense of guilt of "why am I so happy if I didn't get in", anyway, I feel that I don't deserve to enjoy anything if I don't get in.
Until the final result is known, these are your strength and a beautiful vision for the future. But when the final result comes out, these hopes and hopes suddenly disappear, and your own longing for work and life is also gone, and you will feel that the progress of life has stalled. If you don't get in, you don't work hard. The last straw that crushed the examiners seemed to be stable only when they were admitted, as if other jobs were not jobs...
The examination is like a lock, locking many people firmly in place, parents are "waiting for you to be admitted" no matter what, waiting for you to buy a car, waiting for you to be admitted to travel, waiting for you to be admitted to balabala, as if your life can only move forward when you are admitted, knowing that you have been left far behind by your peers, but as if you are cursed by the exam, there are only two possibilities left in life to be admitted and to be a waste.
It's not very tempting for you, but it has become a lingering demon to never get ashore. I don't know how much strength you still have to believe in yourself, it seems that you are running out, the singing in your ears is too strong, the days of supporting yourself are too hard, and you want to give up every time you think about it. Every time I see my classmates in the circle of friends sharing their current lives, I feel as if my life has come to a standstill, the world is constantly moving, and only you, the gear, has stopped turning. It's just because my mentality hasn't been adjusted, no matter how much I prepare for the exam, I can't always be so wronged by myself. Try to treat exam preparation as a normal work situation, rather than a node of learning, and learn to balance life and work if you don't pass the exam. Being alive is not just a kind of survival, but also a kind of life survival and the transformation of life. It shouldn't depend on whether you are admitted or not, and it is not only if you are admitted. Learning to live to suppress the desire to live may be particularly effective in a certain sprint period, which makes people motivated, but it should not be like this in the long run, and you will be tired, disappointed, and frustrated.
In fact, you really can't say everything to yourself, "I'll talk about it when I get in", the strings are too nervous, and life has become only one thing, and all the relaxation items don't seem to have. Rest is also part of exam preparation, and emotional stability is the most important thing. If you are far away, you will deny all your efforts when you are lonely, otherwise you will spend an extra year with your parents. 
There are also those who vaguely feel that they have the ability to eat the bowl of rice in the public, but the relatives around you really think that you can't do it, and if you don't have something, you will sing down and let you accept your fate. You try to resist, you want them to encourage you more, to be your light in the dark days, but every time they talk about it, they will only say that you have been admitted? No, not really. But the thing itself is not terrible, you know, it takes strength and luck to go ashore and you need to patronize at the same time. But on the other hand, there's nothing wrong with saying that it's a reason for a loser.
There is no definition of success in life, the best state is self-consistency and strive to be yourself! If your parents have their own way to go, and if you work a little harder, they can help you find a good job, then you work hard and listen to them very much and follow the path they have planned for you. But if they themselves are mediocre, they can't give you support, and they are all kinds of constraints and dissatisfaction with you, and all kinds of "arrange life", then it is recommended that you have more courage to say no to them, the latter they are just their own wishes have not been fulfilled and want you to help them realize them, but this is your life, not theirs! Otherwise, in addition to taking the public examination, there will be other things urging you, if you are admitted to the public examination, you will be asked to take the exam close to your family, and when your job is stable, you will start to urge you to get married, and if you get married, you will be urged to have children, and there will never be an end. If your parents can't control your life, why should you follow their advice completely? You can listen to their opinions, but don't follow them 100%. Don't be a silk grass, don't be confused, you are the master of your life. Although parents love their children, many parents are old and do not have a substantial help for their children's future. So you have to think critically in everything, as for your parents who are not satisfied with your work, I can only say that Chinese parents are always dissatisfied with their children, you have to learn not to deliberately please them, and not to take their evaluation as a life goal, otherwise you will be too tired to live.
Although I may have some so-called "worthiness" in this way, I have been trying to hope that everyone will also try to tell themselves that there is no such thing as "worthiness"! We're just worthy! Life is not long, struggling in the "sense of worthiness" is in vain to increase the distress, like the love of the go!
Life may only be wonderful for a few moments, and most of the time it is bland, frustrated, boring, and humiliating. You've tried a lot, but you've only had one or two chances.
But please believe: those who are temporarily hidden in winter will surely have spring hair! February** Dynamic Incentive Program