The son-in-law asked for living expenses, but the mother-in-law didn't dare to mention it
Title: Do I have to pay living expenses when I go to my children's home for the elderly? A case tells you the answer Introduction: Parents go to their children's homes to care for the elderly, do they want to pay living expenses? Some elderly people feel that they have a retirement salary and it doesn't matter if they properly subsidize their children, while some elderly people think the opposite, feeling that it is not easy for them to raise their children, and it is the right thing to go to their children's homes to support the elderly.
No matter what the attitude of the elderly is, as a child, they should not take the initiative to ask the elderly for living expenses. Aunt Qi is a typical example, she went to her daughter's house to care for the elderly, and her son-in-law knocked on the side, repeatedly reminding Aunt Qi to pay living expenses, or hand over the salary card, which made Aunt Qi unhappy.
However, when Aunt Qi asked her in-laws a word, her son-in-law never mentioned the salary card again. Aunt Qi has two daughters, the eldest daughter stayed in the field, and the younger daughter stayed by her side.
Last year, after Aunt Qi fell ill, her youngest daughter picked her up and took her home. After living for a while, the son-in-law always asked Aunt Qi to pay the living expenses. Aunt Qi has a habit of eating sweets, especially buying imported fruits to eat, and the sweetness of tropical fruits is stronger.
The son-in-law just bought it for a week and began to ask Aunt Qi, saying that these fruits are quite sweet, let her eat less, be careful of high blood sugar. Aunt Qi did not give up her preferences because of her son-in-law's request, she continued to buy fruits to eat, and just picked up her grandson at her daughter's house to cook dinner and clean up the house.
It's more than a thousand a month, and although she is recuperating at her daughter's house, she also has to pick up her grandson to cook dinner and clean up the house, and she feels that this bit of fruit is not too much. When Aunt Qi's in-laws came to see her grandson at home, Aunt Qi seized the opportunity and asked her in-laws: "If I buy fruit to eat, will your daughter-in-law also object?" ”
After hearing this, my in-laws smiled and said, "No, our daughter-in-law thinks that eating fruit is good for the body, but will encourage me to eat more." Since then, the son-in-law has never mentioned the salary card again.
Aunt Qi believes that when the elderly go to their children's homes to care for the elderly, the children should give care and care, rather than asking for living expenses. At the same time, the elderly should also maintain their own living habits and preferences, and their children should respect and understand.
In my family, my grandson eats fruit every day, and I don't enjoy it alone. However, when I made this point, the son-in-law fell silent, and although the fruit was still purchased as usual, his mood seemed to have decreased.
During a dinner, the son-in-law suddenly brought up the upstairs neighbor's father-in-law, who helped with the grandchildren and often paid the utility and utility bills. The son-in-law said that he felt that these parents were really nice and that they were considerate of their children.
Hearing this, I was a little unhappy in my heart, and on the surface I echoed and said, the situation of each family is different, and if there is a need, we will subsidize you. After hearing this, my daughter also objected, saying that we have our own salary and do not need your subsidy.
However, my son-in-law did not stop there, and after a few days, he suggested that I go to buy fruit by myself in the future, because he had to get off the car to buy fruit after work, which was inconvenient. He also emphasized that I have a retirement salary and can spend it freely.
I responded that the place is too far away and it is inconvenient to take the car, but if you need it, I can ask Fan Fan to help buy it. However, the son-in-law said that he had not been paid his salary this month and he was short on cash.
I knew he wanted me to hand over my payroll card, but I didn't do that because I knew that the final guarantee could not be handed over easily.
I decided not to ask my son-in-law to help buy fruit anymore. Although my daughter gets off work late, I will ask her to buy more, twice a week. The expression on my son-in-law's face became even more ugly when he saw that I started to ask my daughter to buy fruit.
In the evening, we were sitting in the living room watching TV, and my son-in-law suddenly asked me, "Mom, what is your monthly retirement salary?" I smiled and said, "More than two thousand." "Actually, I'm not telling the truth.
The son-in-law asked again: "Your salary is only more than 2,000, and it costs more than 1,000 to eat fruit a month, your life really can't be planned, what can you do when you are old and don't save money?"
Mom, we have financial products for our salary, I will help you buy some, you save the money, you can also have interest, and you can make a lot of money in a few years. I just smiled at my son-in-law's words and told him that I didn't like to buy wealth management products.
But my son-in-law's side-knocking behavior really annoyed me. Before he finished speaking, his son-in-law went to the balcony to pick up **, and said in a very loud voice: "How happy you are, your father-in-law's salary card has been given to you, in addition to subsidizing your life, you can also buy some financial products, save some money in the future, and you are not afraid that the old man will have a disease or a disaster." ”
The loud voice was deliberately said to me, because my daughter and grandson were not at home, and my son-in-law just wanted to embarrass me. I couldn't stand it and told my daughter that there might be a problem.
I don't want this behavior to affect our relationship. The point is that I have to go to the hospital every week, and it is convenient to stay at my daughter's house, and it is convenient for my daughter. I'm all planned, and if my son-in-law does this again, I'll make it clear to him.
I don't give my salary card to anyone, but the deposit and the house are for my daughter and grandson. The son-in-law's behavior of eating in the bowl and looking at the pot is really ugly. The next day, my daughter took her grandson to a hobby class.
My son-in-law came to me again and said, "Mom, you see that you live at home, or you have to pay a little living expenses, after all, you have to buy fruit every month." I wasn't angry, I said to my son-in-law, "Mom won't live long, but if you think you should give it, Mom will give it to you, but I'm afraid that this matter will affect your relationship between husband and wife." ”
The son-in-law was about to speak, someone knocked on the door, he turned around to open the door, and when he saw that it was the son-in-law's parents who came, they brought snacks and said that they were coming to see their grandson, and I quickly let people in.
One warm afternoon, I sat on the sofa with my mother-in-law and chatted. Watching my son-in-law diligently busy, I suddenly had an idea. We are both parents, and I know that parents don't want to cause trouble to their children, so I plan to contribute some living expenses.
However, I was afraid that my money would not be suitable, so I asked my mother-in-law about it. After hearing this, my mother-in-law's face changed slightly, but she quickly comforted me and said, "You should live in your daughter's house, and you don't need to pay for living expenses." ”
The mother-in-law's words made the son-in-law nod in agreement. After that, my son-in-law never asked me for living expenses or bank cards. I know that we parents are busy going to our children's homes and have very little leisure time, but my son-in-law only thinks about letting me pay for my living expenses.
This experience has taught me that the more children worry about their parents' salaries, the more they cannot easily give them.