I saw a hot article on a certain story about how a rural girl counterattacked from a secondary school student to a second-class college student, and I thought of myself.
But I'm ashamed.
The devaluation of academic qualifications is a hot topic right now.
But in the countryside, in my hometown, studying has become the only way for many parents to raise their children.
Actually, it's quite paradoxical, we all know that there are many college students, but reading is really the only way out.
My mom and my friends used to tease me that I just read too much, otherwise I wouldn't have gotten psychosis, and I always felt that it was the pressure of studying that caused me to develop mental illness.
But before I got sick, before the college entrance examination, my creed was indeed that knowledge changes destiny, and no one could contradict me.
My teacher told me that you can't pull your nerves so hard, and once the string breaks, you're done.
A few years later, it became a prophecy.
But am I wrong? My family is so poor, my parents' education is to read to change my fate, my parents spent so much money to train me, I don't study seriously, how can I be worthy of them, these are my thoughts at the time.
I was studying for even 10 minutes between classes.
But I know that I've worked hard and I've always been in the middle of the pack.
The teacher was helpless.
Can knowledge really change fate?
The class flower in the class, the class grass, never studied for a day makeup and dressed up a bunch of boys to pursue.
And I asked them, "Do you students never have to worry about your future?"
They just laughed.
And in fact, some of them have jobs arranged by their parents, and some of them have fathers who are from the city's education bureau.
When I got to college, I seemed to be a different person, and I just wanted to dress up.
I couldn't learn anymore, and I completely let myself go.
I can't tell if I was completely free in college, or if I was too stressed before college, or if I had a personality disease that caused my illness.
Actually, it should all be a little.
For so many years I've been deliberately avoiding these questions, like what caused my illness.
For example, it is not right to endure hardships in order to become a superior person, such as knowledge to change fate.
Why the hell did I change completely?
The reason why I'm so Buddhist now is because of my illness or because I'm running away from what I once believed.
Or is society too dark.
In fact, these are growth.
In the past, my parents' words were holy decrees, but then I had my own thoughts, and on the road of self-pursuit, I got lost, I got into trouble, and my family and you helped me find myself again.
Knowledge can certainly change fate.
It's just that you have to keep persevering, and you can't give up halfway like I did, otherwise you'll lose all your efforts.
You think you're just going to take a break, but you've given up.
But why didn't I insist?
It's just that I avoided suffering, and when I entered college, I chose the so-called non-suffering.
That's my reflection.
The vast majority of my classmates are almost all rural.
Knowledge does change fate.
It's just that just because it's a competition, you can't treat life as a competitive game, and use your living soul to live a good life and change your destiny every day.
This logic is messy, I know.
It seems that I'm really reconciling with my illness a little bit by writing articles like this.
yes, it's that I don't want to study halfway through.
So I can't find a job and my feelings hurt.
Faith collapsed, so who is to blame for the mental injury, blame the society, blame the country.
It's because I always think of studying as a game for my parents.
Actually, I'm very smart enough to know how to look high when my scores are limited.
But that's what I did to be smart.
Knowledge can really change fate.
The hardships of suffering really change fate.
If you are poor, you will think about change. It's not cool, it's feudal, it's old-fashioned, but it's useful.
The essence of the minds of the older generation.
I'll get better step by step.
All readers, please take a look at me.
I'm cheering up.