In marriage, we often hear a sentence: marriage is not 1+1=2, but 05+0.5=1。
Some people say that marriage is like a besieged city, people outside the city want to go in, and people in the city want to come out.
If marriage is likened to a besieged city, then the relationship between husband and wife is the most important bond in this city.
Some people say that a good marriage is to make you feel comfortable in this city; And a bad marriage makes you feel that it is difficult.
No one wants to live a hard life with the person they love the most, but the disharmony between husband and wife is the biggest problem in marriage.
Someone once asked the question: Will you be with your partner for the rest of your life?
Here's an answer that impresses me:
Of course not! I'd rather suffer with you than eat in the bowl and look at the pot! ”
The foundation of marriage is love, but love does not necessarily translate into marriage
Some people say that marriage is like a besieged city, people outside the city want to go in, and people in the city want to come out.
But for marriage, the factors that really determine the quality of the relationship between husband and wife are the other side:
In marriage, we must learn to love each other and learn to appreciate each other.
Because when you fall in love with someone, your relationship becomes closer and stronger, and the relationship between you gets better and better.
But if you don't have feelings for the other person, then your relationship won't last.
I once read a book that said, "A marriage without love is like a plate of loose sand, which is scattered when the wind blows." ”
Only when you feel each other with your heart can you make love stronger and stronger; When you and someone support each other and understand each other, you can make the relationship better and better.
Don't put the word "I" on your lips, please keep the three words "I love you" in your heart
Many couples feel that when two people live together, it doesn't matter what they say or do, they are doing it themselves anyway, and they have nothing to do with others.
But in reality, many times, what you say is just as important as what you do.
In "Love Defense", there is a couple who is like this.
His wife Xiaojuan has always been afraid to face her husband Li Fei, she is afraid that she will hurt her husband by saying the wrong thing, so every time she quarrels, she will put the word "I" on her lips first.
And Li Fei also learned Xiaojuan's every word and every action tacitly, as long as Xiaojuan said or did something wrong, he would take the initiative to apologize or coax Xiaojuan.
But after a long time, Li Fei felt that he didn't love Xiaojuan more and more.
He felt that Xiaojuan was becoming more and more pretentious and unreasonable.
In fact, in marriage, what we are most afraid of is the three words "I think".
Everyone has their own things to do and learn to express their needs
In psychology, there is a term called "expectation theory", which was proposed by the famous American psychologist Abraham Maslow in 1943.
He believes that there are five human needs: physiological needs, security needs, love and belonging, respect, and self-actualization.
Everyone has their own needs, and when these needs are not met, all kinds of negative emotions arise.
If you find yourself at odds with your partner, try to express your needs instead of blaming the other person.
Because in the accusation, the other party is often pushed farther and farther away, and even arouses the other party's disgust and resistance.
Everyone is an individual, and only by learning to express their needs can the other half understand you better.
So, if you want your significant other to understand you, learn to say "no".
Don't let him be the only one in your life, that's how he loves you
Everyone is an individual, we must learn to respect each other and not let him be the only one in your life.
Whether it is a woman or a man, you must know how to love yourself in order to love others better.
Of course, in addition to learning to love herself, women must also learn to love men.
If a man truly loves you, he will strive for every day with you; If he doesn't love you, it's futile for you to do anything.
In marriage, don't be the one who will always accommodate the other person; It's about learning to be an independent person and grow yourself.
When you get better and better, the relationship between you will naturally get better and better.