The Spring Festival, which carries the old and the new, is always accompanied by an intriguing phenomenon in addition to celebrations every year:
I thought that the long holiday would be a comfortable time of rest, but the reality is that many people feel more profound fatigue after the holiday than before the holiday, which is not only reflected in the physical distress and fatigue, but also has an indescribable "mental exhaustion".
At this moment, please check yourself against the following typical "New Year syndrome" to see if you also resonate with it, or how many such New Year symptoms have you personally experienced?
Take the occasional prosperity as the norm of life
Mu Xin once explained deeply: "The highest state of life is just like the blazing prosperity in the cold." ”
A person's life is as cold as the background color, and prosperity is the color in the middle. Life needs to be bathed in the brilliance of the sense of ritual in order not to lose its course; Life needs to forge ahead in loneliness so as not to lose oneself.
There was once an ignorant little monk who asked his master for advice: "Why is the world always bustling and lively, but my life seems so lonely and lonely?" ”
The master responded in a philosophical tone: "The so-called liveliness in the world is just an appearance, and coldness is the essence of life. ”
During the Spring Festival, visits and interactions between relatives and friends are indispensable, including the passionate pushing of glasses and changing lamps during the banquet, as well as the expression of endless feelings and emotions in the ripples of memories when gossiping around the fireplace.
However, these moments of excitement and jubilation are fleeting, and for most of our lives, we still need to quietly close the door and immerse ourselves in our daily trivialities.
The world inside the door, cold and warm can only be known by oneself, and the taste is difficult for others to taste.
If you are always running around in the torrent of crowds, you will often pay too much attention to comparison, and breed emotional waves of gains and losses.
With its unique wisdom, life teaches us to learn to close those unnecessary doors at the right time, so that the soul can return to tranquility and enjoy the state of life that is intertwined with loneliness and prosperity that belongs to us.
Close the floodgates of desire
There is a subtle inverse relationship between pleasure and desire, and the more complex the desire, the thinner the pleasure. Only by streamlining and sifting through desires can we truly embrace that lasting and deep happiness.
If a person is tightly bound by desires, it is like being stuck in a quagmire, unable to move forward, only to linger in the same place. On the contrary, a person who is indifferent to desires can arrange his time leisurely, immerse himself in the things he loves, and enjoy the gifts of life.
With the passage of time, these two different attitudes to life will accumulate their own different life experiences.
Close the window of comparison
Comparison is the source of pain, in this world, there are always people who are born with superior conditions, and there are always people who are tenacious on the bumpy road of life.
We just need to be ourselves quietly, remember that the secret of success lies in 99% of hard work and sweat and 1% of accidental luck, and do not be stingy with sweat efforts, let alone envy the unattainable good luck.
Life is to accept everything given by fate, whether it is gained or lost, we should face it calmly and accept it with gratitude.
Yue Ke, a literati in the Song Dynasty, once said: "As for the existence of the law, it is like a fish drinking water, and it knows its own warmth and coldness." ”
We should not rely too much on what we see with the naked eye, only by experiencing it can we truly appreciate the bitterness and sweetness contained in it.
Behind the harmony between husband and wife and family reunion you see is the crystallization of their long-term running-in, forbearance and dedication, and gradually learning to accept each other and correcting themselves.
Everyone has struggles and challenges in their hearts, and the smile you see on his face is a true portrayal of his sudden enlightenment in repeated reflection after struggling on the edge of pain countless times.
Tranquility is the highest state of life, and all the troubles and adversities will come to naught in front of it.
To maintain inner tranquility is to protect the harmony and tranquility of life.
Take the good of others for granted
In the Chinese wisdom aphorism, there is such a deeply rooted saying: "The respect that others respect for you is not entirely because of your own excellence, but because of their inner cultivation and nobility." ”
However, in real life, there is a group of people who take the kindness and kindness of others for granted, but do not reflect on their own inner world and think about how much they can give to each other.
On the occasion of the Chinese New Year, people are eager to bring each other closer to each other through various interactions, so customs such as feasting guests, giving gifts, and handing out red envelopes to children have emerged. Some people follow the traditional virtue of "courtesy", while others hold the notion that if others are capable and well-paid, they should take on more responsibilities. They often neglect to be grateful to others, which not only sends chills down the giver but also destroys their own network.
Da Zhuang and Xiao Mao are such a pair of friends who grew up together. In the early years, Xiao Mao lived a rich life and had his own company, whenever the Spring Festival was approaching, he would drive Da Zhuang to purchase New Year's goods together, one for each person, and also take Da Zhuang to participate in various social wine parties.
However, in recent years, Xiao Mao's company has fallen into business difficulties, and it is even difficult to maintain basic operations, so he began to drastically reduce his social expenses, tighten his personal expenses, no longer buy items for Da Zhuang, and rarely organize wine party activities.
In this regard, Da Zhuang's heart was full of dissatisfaction, and he complained that Xiao Mao forgot his friendship when he was rich, and now he looks down on himself. This is just like a saying circulating on the Internet: "I give you a candy every day, and you are overjoyed; One day if you don't have candy, you're unhappy. ”
"Courtesy exchanges" is an important etiquette in interpersonal communication, and only mutual giving and feedback can make friendship last for a long time and be as stable as a mountain.
In the vast world of human interaction, we should adhere to two basic principles:
First of all, be grateful for the selfless efforts of others.
Gratitude is not only a noble spiritual posture, but also a bright brilliance in the personality charm. Everyone will inevitably encounter troughs and difficulties in life, and if there is a helping hand from others, we may be able to turn things around and change the trajectory of our destiny. Therefore, no matter how time goes by and how life circumstances change, we should remember those who have reached out at critical moments, and use this as motivation to push ourselves and others to pass on this kindness and beauty.
Second, we need to learn to reciprocate the gifts of others in a timely manner.
People who give generously are not because they have abundant wealth, but because they have a simple and kind feeling in their hearts. When we are bathed in the kind care and assistance of others, we should actively give back within our own ability, so that love and warmth can form a virtuous circle.
The German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche once profoundly pointed out: "Gratitude is the embodiment of the health of the soul." A person who knows how to be grateful will face the people and things around him with a more sunny and positive attitude, and over time, this beautiful quality is like a seed sown, which will eventually reap the fruits of happiness and happiness in their hearts.
Excessive envy of other people's successes
Bian Zhilin once had a poem: "You look at the scenery on the bridge, and the people who watch the scenery look at you upstairs." This poetic depiction implies that we are all the scenery in each other's eyes in life, and only with a normal heart can we find our own unique scenery.
During the Spring Festival, people were able to take a break from their busyness and share their lives with friends they had not seen for a long time. At this time, you will find that some people have reached the peak of their careers, and their children are also outstanding; And some people choose to live a dull life, as if time stands still at the beginning.
Such a contrast will inevitably stir up the emotional waves in the heart. If you don't grasp it properly, you may fall into cognitive misunderstandings.
Emotions are like a double-edged sword, and when properly harnessed, they can be turned into a source of motivation to forge ahead; If you don't have enough control, you may suffer from it and lose your way forward.
When work is not going well, some people blame their parents for not paving the way for themselves, and when they see the outstanding performance of other people's children, they scold their own children for not studying hard enough. However, the reality is often not so simple: behind the success of others may be several all-night efforts, as well as countless attempts to seek advice and gain pertinent advice.
Those outstanding children, their achievements come from the careful cultivation from an early age, thanks to the strict and self-disciplined family influence.
A deep question: "When you have insight into what a person thinks in his heart, do you still envy him?" Indeed, the brilliance of a minute on stage is inseparable from the dedication of ten years of sharpening a sword off the stage. Instead of simply envying others, it is better to spend this time on self-improvement, and at the moment when the desire is sublimated to the ideal, you will be indifferent to the brilliance of others.
The world has its own fairness, and if you want to reap happiness, you can't be stingy with giving; If you want to succeed, you must sweat hard. Only by returning to a stable mood can we correctly understand others and clearly understand ourselves.
In the book "Emotional Intelligence", there is a deeply rooted sentence: "People with high emotional intelligence tend to succeed more easily in their studies, careers, and social spheres." ”
Success is not a source of water, it calls us to be introverted and deep, to retract the envious gaze of others, and turn to inner self-examination. Only under the calm emotional lake will the essence and true meaning of life be quietly revealed.
Mr. Yang Jiang once wisely pointed out: "Every year has its own unique charm in the journey of life, and each station has its own scenery. ”
The passage of time silently inspires us to better shape and understand ourselves. As the Spring Festival fades away and the spring shines brighter and brighter, we no longer feel nostalgic for the past, but make careful plans for the future, while grasping every moment of the present.
When a person can face the prosperity calmly, regard the ordinary as the normal state of life; When his heart is full of gratitude to others, remembering kindness, and knowing how to give back; When he is not fooled by the aura of success of others, but firmly walks his own every step of the way.
In this way, we can live up to the years, not waste time, and truly realize self-respect and fulfillment.