1. The feet of the classmates at the back table are too smelly. I stinky and spicy, I was going to vomit out breakfast, teacher, you let me go, Later, the teacher wandered around us for a while, choked his brows, and then approved me to go home, and the next day he moved me to another position to relieve me!
2 Shanglian: Eat and drink, don't put things in your heart.
Downlink: Soaking in the bath, looking at the watch, comfortable for a second is a second.
Horizontal batch: You can't live in vain!
3. My wife was pregnant and went to the hospital for B ultrasound, and a young man who interned said to us with a serious face: "Be mentally prepared, he may be a freak, he has two heads, four hands and four legs!" We were stunned for a moment, and my wife started crying on the spot. At this time, the doctor came over, and a "Wind and Thunder God Palm" hit the young man on the head, and scolded angrily: "That's twins, fools!" ”
4 My girlfriend took her little nephew to the playground to play, and the little nephew wanted to play with the pirate ship, and my girlfriend thought there were many people in line, so I said, "It's okay." My girlfriend complimented me: "You are so patient with children." I was so proud that I thought to myself, "Such a long queue can take a lot of time and save a lot of money." ”
5 Today I had breakfast with my colleague Xiao Yang to work, just entered the company, other colleagues coaxed, asked why we came together, I said we met in the noodle restaurant to eat noodles, after eating together, other colleagues on all kinds of unbelief, all kinds of coaxing, all kinds of jokes, not to say that I and my colleague Xiao Yang came together after getting up in the morning, other colleagues just want to put me and Xiao Yang together, this thing must be stopped. Otherwise, others will think that our company is a marriage agency!
It was cold for 6 days, and I applied to my boyfriend to buy a new sweater, and my boyfriend said, "Buy it, buy a rabbit fur!" Search for the keyword 'rabbit fur' on the Internet, and ask my boyfriend casually: "Why do you buy rabbit fur?" The boyfriend replied, "Because I belong to a rabbit, you can feel the warmth I bring you when you wear it." If you don't see the warm post of the merchant: this sweater is rabbit fur and cannot be washed by hand. I was really touched by that guy.
7Is it necessary to be happy if you have money?
Do you really think that rich people must be happy, and as happy as you think?
You are wrong, rich people are not as happy as you think, and they are happy that you simply can't imagine.
8When I eat with our manager, I think he is my boss, I should rush to pay the bill, when I am the manager, eat with my subordinates, I feel that he is my subordinate, I should pay! Isn't that stupid?
9 wives have LP initials, and beautiful ones have PL.
I suddenly understood: why is it that a wife is often the opposite of being pretty?
10 stir-fried sauce, very delicious. My wife saw that the sauce was almost gone, so she asked me to feed it, and when I fed it, I shook a large piece down, but my wife didn't want to, why did she shake off the meat for me and dig it for me! No way, dug it up to him. When I saw her frowning, I knew that star anise wasn't delicious!
11 The kindergarten teacher asked her students:"Who can make a sentence with the word affirmative? "The first little girl said"The sky is definitely blue. "The teacher said:"But sometimes the sky is gray or orange! "The second little boy said:"The tree is definitely green. "The teacher said:"But in the fall, the trees turn brown"At this time, Xiao Ming in the back row stood up and asked"Teacher, do farts have a color? "The teacher was stunned"Of course not! ""Well, I'm sure I pulled my pants! "
12In front of the Forbidden City in Beijing, a photography enthusiast constantly adjusts the position of his tripod in order to shoot the perfect angle. In the middle of his busyness, he accidentally knocked over his kettle, and the kettle rolled into the distance. His antics of chasing the kettle made the tourists around him laugh.
13After getting married, she scolded me for being ** when I quarreled.
Uncle, you are a fruit seller, but you found an aunt but you are so beautiful, tell me the story of you and your aunt. "
I don't know why your aunt fell in love with me, that year's Valentine's Day, I finished selling fruits, passed by a ** jewelry store, went in to see the excitement, your aunt was working as a salesman in it.
I casually asked, "How much does this thing cost a pound......”
Then we got married......
As a result, after getting married, my wife scolded me as a ** when I quarreled.