With the diversification of people's lifestyles, the traditional Spring Festival has gradually evolved into a new style, and blind dates have become an inevitable topic.
used to be "the first batch of people to go home for the New Year", but now they are "the first people to go home for a blind date".
Many people do have feelings of exclusion for blind dates, but it is undeniable that it does give workplace people and social fears the opportunity to choose.
So, today I want to talk about the problems and solutions that will be encountered on a blind date.
A reader once told me that because she had a small work circle and few contacts with the opposite sex, she tried an online dating platform.
But after seeing a few, there was no result, either the family background was very different, or someone had bad intentions and wanted to make a short choice and was rejected by her.
Although I haven't suffered a big loss so far, I feel that I have wasted some time and consumed my true and sincere self.
I have been feeling frustrated on the blind date, and I am more distrustful and wary of the opposite sex.
She feels that she is a sincere, kind and rich girl, but she is not treated kindly.
The blind date made her see a lot of human weaknesses, and after discovering that it was not good, she gave more time to investigate the other party and prevent misjudgment, but the ending was unified, and gradually made her think about whether she was indecisive.
There is a sentence in the Tao Te Ching called "Those who know others are wise, and those who know themselves are clear".
The above girl's statement is a bit like a man complaining that he is pregnant.
But in fact, the truth that a person has no talent is likely to be that he is not so talented, that is, he is not as talented as he imagined.
If you are really talented, in this era of very developed information and information, you will definitely be able to meet noble people.
Girls think they have a good card: bachelor's and master's degree from a famous school, have study abroad experience, good appearance, dignified intellectual type, business family, family annual income of millions, school teacher, annual income of more than 100,000 yuan, stable and motivated work, love life, have persistent interests and hobbies, and consciously be a sincere, kind and rich girl.
However, from the perspective of our mission psychology, although she is already in the second dimension of life financially, she is folded in terms of relationships.
She didn't open up her relationship, she was still in the first dimension of survival, and she was still like a primary school student in the relationship.
I think that my good deck of cards can be exchanged for love, but these have nothing to do with love.
According to the classification of girls, "either there is a big difference in family background, or someone has bad intentions and wants to be rejected by her in the short term", the first category of men is all looking for her family's money, and the second category of men suddenly lost contact after seeing her a few times.
Therefore, it is estimated that the appearance of girls is not as high as they imagined, and the charm value when men and women get along is not so strong.
These bubbles are what we're going to puncture.
Only by seeing the truth clearly and accepting the truth can we live a sober life and avoid detours.
Two strangers want to chat as partners through chatting, either to check the household registration or to find something to say.
How to make the atmosphere of the chat less awkward has become the first problem that the blind date needs to overcome.
A reader once told me that she was introduced to the current boy by her family.
After adding WeChat, I chatted for a few days, and I only learned about the other party's height and knew that the other party had no other hobbies except sports.
Considering that the other party was 29 years old and not married, she was afraid that the other party's vision would be too high, so she casually talked about salary.
It was this question that made the other party feel that she cared more about material things, and the girl felt wronged and uncomfortable.
The way of chatting is not the worst in this story, a person obviously cares about salary, cares about material things, but not talking about it is the worst.
Of course, it's not the worst, but it's also a car accident.
Because although I care about the salary and talk about the salary, I don't say it in a way that is acceptable to the other party.
As for how to talk about it, I recommend trying not to use words to communicate.
Since you want to go on a blind date with others, you should at least meet, even if it is inconvenient to meet in different places, you can also communicate.
**Blind date is also stronger than text blind date.
Moreover, you can also say this to him when you are on a blind date:
We are all single now, and we have all gone to the blind date process, so should we at least go through all the processes involved in the blind date?
Now, do I start asking first, or do you start asking first? ”。
By making a joke, the matter may pass all at once.
For example, you can start talking about "I am a store manager, I earn xx every month, the future situation is xx, and the plan is xx", and then stop, without asking, the other party should be able to talk about his situation.
This way it won't make everyone embarrassed and uncomfortable with each other.
If you want to get information from the other person, the best thing to do is to tell your own information first.
This not only shows your own honesty, but also gives the other party a chance to share your information.
If the other person doesn't speak after speaking, then you can still say to him:
You're too uninteresting, I'm done talking, but you don't say it, hide it like this, or are you not a man? ”。
I believe that after saying this, the other party will definitely say it.
Blind date is different from love, after acquaintance, acquaintance and love, basically everyone goes straight to the point.
Therefore, many people will hold the thinking of "give a chance" and indirectly hide their true feelings.
Also from the reader's story, she met a boy through a blind date, and the boy's income was in her mate selection requirements, and some of his interests and hobbies were the same as hers.
So, the two made an appointment to meet, but the boy was late for the first time they met.
The other party said that he had just turned in the wrong direction, so he was about 40 minutes late.
During this period, she didn't say anything like "very angry", but just expressed her thoughts and said, "It might be better if I could have a ** notification".
The other party apologized, and then said to invite her to dinner.
The two of them chatted very happily, and when they got to know each other later, there was voice chat and so on.
She brought up the problem of the other party's tardiness again, saying, "If I'm about to be late, I'll call ** to inform the other party what's going on." ”
The boy said: "Because when driving a motor vehicle, you can't hit **."
"Traffic lights are fine," she said. ”
The boy said, "That's also illegal." ”
The next day, the other party called ** and told her: "After thinking about it, I want to inform the other party." ”
When we are out of order, we can't just come into contact with one person, especially when we are in our 30s.
Why is it difficult for many people to get out of order now?
Because everyone has one of the most basic homework that they have not done well: to enhance their understanding of men.
I would like to share a sentence with you:Falling in love with a man with a man's thinking is called knowing oneself and knowing one's opponent and winning all battles.
First of all, you have to understand what this boy thinks.
For example, if the other party is late, the girl says, "You should call me this ** on the way".
The boy said: "When driving a motor vehicle, you should not hit **.
It can be seen from this conversation that the two are talking about their own things.
Is the boy wrong?
Obviously not, from the perspective of laws and regulations, it is true that you should not hit ** when driving.
But is what the girl said wrong?
That's right, because the other party is late, and a notice should be given.
It is important to note that when we communicate with each other, we should truthfully express our "unhappy" emotions.
Both of them are now circling around the water, and what they are saying is false.
If I were this girl, I would use a man's mind to tell the truth directly.
For example: "You know I'm a little upset, can I ask you to be on time next time we meet?"
You don't need to talk about motor vehicle driving, you can say that
If you think I'm not worthy of you to be on time, you can tell me and I can wait for you. We are about 10 o'clock, and you can wait until 10:30. ”
There is no right or wrong here, just the annoyance that the other party is late.
A man actually has his own set of values, which is to judge whether you are worthy or not.
So, here's the thing: he's kind of snubbing this girl.
If you don't dare to express this kind of neglect, you will continue to be neglected.
Because all the results of being treated are the results of our training of others.
We can't do the wrong thing because the other person has made a mistake, but we should continue to do the right thing and correct the other person's mistake.
Blind dates can be an effective way to broaden relationships, provided that the introducer is an acquaintance and genuine.
In this process, there may be surprises, or there may be hope.
In any case, it is good to keep a normal mind, and if you feel uncomfortable, decisively refuse; If you feel okay, you may want to contact again.
After all, giving the other party a chance is actually giving yourself a chance.
Write at the end:If you are single, if you go home, you can't escape the fate of a blind date, you can leave a message in the comment area to tell me: What happened to you on a blind date.
Whether it's an interesting story or an embarrassing story, here I am, it's a "good thing" that can be shared!
The illustrations in this article, any **, newspapers, television stations, companies, organizations and individuals, without authorization, may not be used in part or in full.