When the wheels of time roll forward, the elderly often feel an indescribable loneliness in their hearts. At some point, they crave to be surrounded by a lively meal and enjoy the company of their family as a way to dispel their loneliness.
However, reality is often not as rosy as imagined.
As we get older, our body functions gradually decline. Preparing a hearty meal often requires a lot of time and energy for the elderly, and cleaning up after a meal can make the tired body even worse.
Therefore, inviting relatives to have a meal is actually a lot of energy expenditure. A sensible elderly friend will know how to value his physical strength and avoid overexertion.
Some people prefer a quiet life and feel overwhelmed by the hustle and bustle of home. I have an old neighbor who lives in the back of the building, and his home is often filled with the laughter of relatives.
After retirement, he not only had to take care of his elderly parents, but also had to deal with a steady stream of visits from relatives. This kind of life is really exhausting.
In real life, it is often difficult to achieve the desired harmony with large family gatherings. Everyone has their own opinions and opinions, and disagreements can easily lead to unnecessary disputes.
Especially in the case of a large number of relatives, it is even more common to have behind-the-scenes discussions and quarrels, which not only makes people feel heavy, but also may hurt the relationship with relatives.
I know a little bit about my parents' group of relatives. In most cases, not all relatives can communicate with each other, and there is often an unspeakable gap between them.
Therefore, if you are not a particularly harmonious relative, it is better to gather in large groups. Instead of turning the party into a source of strife, share quality time only with those who can truly bring joy.
In summary, it is understandable that the elderly are in pursuit of happiness and companionship, but it is also necessary to pay attention to moderation. When deciding to hold a family gathering, you should take into account your own physical condition and psychological capacity, but also take into account that the relationship between relatives is really harmonious enough.
This is the only way to ensure that the meeting is truly a relief from loneliness and a bonding experience, rather than a burden that brings an extra burden.
As people grow older, they come to realize that too much pursuit of superficial glory and dignity is actually a heavy burden. On the contrary, more attention should be paid to the abundance of the heart and the true quality of life.
At some stage, we may find that maintaining relationships that are only superficially harmonious requires tremendous effort and cost. Examples of this kind of relationship are common in our kinship circles, and our relationships with certain relatives may be based solely on courtesy interactions and lack real emotional communication and understanding.
In this case, to continue to maintain this apparent harmony is actually a form of self-deception. Why would we put ourselves in such an awkward position to pretend to maintain an intimacy that simply cannot be repaired?
In my own experience, for example, my relationship with a sister was very strained. There are fundamental differences in our values and lifestyles, and these problems cannot be solved by simple communication. Therefore, I chose not to force myself to fit in with her, nor to try to play a harmonious relative in front of her. Avoiding unnecessary contact is a relief for me.
Of course, we may still have to force a smile at some of the must-attend gatherings of relatives, but that's only for the occasional response. In the rest of the cases where we can choose at our discretion, we should try to minimize our interactions with relatives who make us feel uncomfortable.
Life is short, and there is no need to waste time and energy on relationships that are impossible to change. Instead of hypocritically pretending to be harmonious, be honest about your feelings and choose people with whom we feel comfortable and comfortable. After all, true happiness and satisfaction come from the truth of the heart, not from the face of the outside.