Original poem
One morning with good sunshine
Wen Jia shallow.
The sun is good.
One morning. I leaned against the wall.
Holding a newspaper. Inattentive.
Reading the ad in the cracks.
The wall slowly creeps.
It becomes soft.
Take me a little bit into it.
Let me be able to sit, to lean, to lie down.
I smiled contentedly.
Twist your head to find out. inlaid in the walls.
I'm not alone.
There is Lao Zhang next door.
And the dozing cats.
and a few neatly arranged eggs in the nest.
The sun is good.
One morning. You haven't heard from you for a long time.
I was so tired and lazy.
Appreciation
This poem is not long, and the literal meaning is very clear, but after reading it, do we feel that the meaning is still unfinished and leads to reverie?
The beauty of this poem lies in the seamless connection between real-life scenes and the author's inner thinking activities through the stream-of-consciousness writing, it does not use metaphorical words such as "like, as if, as if" or "is, as if, become", but allows you to naturally transition to the author's inner world like watching a movie montage.
For the sake of understanding, we will divide the poem into three stanzas:
At the beginning, the poem sets up a common life scene: the sun is shining, and I get up in the morning to read the newspaper. "The sun was shining and I was leaning against the wall one morning with a newspaper in my hand and reading the ad in the cracks." The point of this stanza is "carelessness", that is, not actually reading the newspaper, but killing the "sunny" time, otherwise not reading the "advertisement in the cracks".
In the second stanza, "The wall slowly squirmed and softened, and took me a little bit into it, so that I could sit, lean, and lie down, and I smiled contentedly, and turned my head to find that I was not the only one embedded in the wall, but the old Zhang next door, and the dozing cat, and a few neatly arranged eggs in the nest." Here, through the poet's unique antennae and senses, the author switches from the "cracks of the newspaper" to the "wall", but these are two "soft" and "wriggling" walls (this is how many times more clever than a woman who thinks of cucumbers when she is lonely?). In this "wall of boring and passing the good time", there are not only people "Lao Zhang next door" (note that it is not Lao Wang, otherwise it will cause verbal criticism), but also animal "cats" and "bird eggs" waiting for the birth of life, of course, including Hongchen you and me. The word "mosaic" is used here to illustrate the depth of the immersion.
Verse 3, "The sun is shining One morning You haven't heard from me for a long time I'm so weary and lazy." If you don't know much about verse 2, this is the place to be! The reason why the author is "so lazy and lazy" to pass the time is because "you have not heard for a long time", and here is the answer.
Rating: Slightly better language, 6 points; Rhythm is generally 5 points; poor physical condition (mainly unsegmented) 4 points; The artistic conception and intention are not bad, scoring 8 points and 7 points respectively, plus a basic score of 50 points, so the overall score is 80 points.
Author
Hua Ling, formerly known as Liang Chenghao, male, Han nationality, born in 1974, is from Wolong District, Nanyang City, Henan Province. He is a contemporary Chinese avant-garde poet, a cutting-edge writer, and a columnist of the Reading Sleep Poetry Society. He is now a local village doctor. The first collection of poems, Love Songs and Lamentations, was successfully published in Henan Zhongzhou Ancient Books Publishing House in April 2015, and won the silver medal of the 3rd New Poet Award held by the Chinese Poetry Society in Beijing in June of that year, and the bronze medal of the 2nd Red Sorghum PEN Club in Qingdao in August. The second collection of poems, "Beauty Snake", is also being planned for publication.