The only thing you have to do is not to punish yourself for the mistakes of others, and when you are sober, you have to learn to accept the stupid things you have done before. Don't let yourself be in a state of self-entanglement and internal friction all the time, but adjust your state and start a new life again. No matter how much you jerked off at the time, it's a thing of the past. It's become your upbringing, and it doesn't matter what the reason is. From this point on, you have matured and know clearly what kind of people you should stay away from. At the same time, I also learned how to be a better version of myself in the relationship, and I will not repeat the mistakes of the past, and it is enough to love others in the same way.
Being able to realize your own problems in a relationship and be able to turn back in time is your biggest gain. At least you have stuck to your heart, and you still need to improve some hobbies. Be clear that what you love to do is not to please the people around you, but to please yourself. At this time, there is no need to self-denial, but how to be happy. Take taking pictures as an example, it's purely a hobby. Even if the shooting is not good, it does not mean anything. After all, it is a hobby, a non-professional person. You don't need to care whether it's good or bad, you really want it to look good and modify it yourself.
So, don't always dwell on what you've done and torture yourself, but spend more time and energy on constantly improving yourself. There are some things that you don't need to care about what others think, everything is good and bad in your thoughts. Even if others have a hundred mouths, they can't say a flower, learn to recognize yourself more and cherish yourself. In the future, you can find the best version of yourself that has been lost for many years, and the person who knows how to appreciate, care and cherish you.