A relative is someone who is closest to you other than your blood relative. Relatives will help each other when they are in trouble. However, as society continues to evolve, relatives are no longer as close as they used to be, and there is little contact every year except for holidays.
For those who come after, not all relatives can give everything, especially those who are not close to each other. I was embarrassed by their pleas for help, but I didn't want to be a part of it.
Many times, everyone's sincere dedication has become a matter of course in the eyes of some relatives. It can be seen that not all relatives can be sincere to you and repay your kindness.
In fact, the relatives who really understand you will not cause you trouble or make you embarrassed. On the contrary, if you have the following five types of relatives, "cut off the relationship as soon as possible, the closer the relationship, the more enemies will breed, look at it".
1. Cause trouble to relatives.
According to common sense, relatives should help and support each other, but there are always some relatives who can't see how good you are. The better you behave, the more jealous they will be.
Ostensibly they are drinking with you, chatting with you, approaching you, but in reality they are just trying to deceive you. After asking you about your private affairs, they will turn around and gossip about you behind your back, spread your private affairs, and let others accuse you and talk about you. and ruin your reputation.
But at this time, they will pretend to be friendly and caring, so that you can't attack them, so you can only swallow your anger.
If you find them gossiping, cut off their relationship as soon as possible, or else you will be responsible for the consequences. After all, these people have no family affection in their eyes, and their kindness to you is only for the sake of profit. They are only concerned with satisfying their own selfish desires. It doesn't matter what other people's circumstances are.
Even if such troublesome relatives won't target you, the closer you get to them, the more you will be influenced by them. They like to brag, spread rumors, cause trouble, and they like to cause trouble. You may also do this over time.
Therefore, you must stay away from such relatives in time, keep a certain distance from them, and do not say personal things, otherwise your life will be messed up by him.
2. Hate the poor and love the relatives of the rich.
As the saying goes, "If you are poor, you will not go to your relatives, and if you are rich, you will not return to your hometown". The poorer you are, the more you have to keep the door shut. Otherwise, you will be looked down upon when you go to your relatives' house. The more you leave, the more disappointed you will be. Try to live a good life, and relatives will naturally come to see you. 。
I don't know when it began, the trend of comparison between relatives became stronger and stronger. Even the closest relatives look at others with snobbery. If you have money, then they will come to your door and will find all kinds of excuses to ask you for help, hoping to get benefits from you.
But when you are down, these people will run away, afraid that you will come for help. Every time you come to visit your family, they are worried that you will come to borrow money, and they will laugh at you and make you unable to get off the stage.
A true loved one should help you when you are lonely, give you a chance or encouragement to make a comeback, and give you the motivation to move forward with the support of family affection. But in real life, there are too few such relatives. When you're rich, you may support a lot of relatives, but as long as you're down, others will stay away.
In this money-first society, many relatives no longer care about the so-called family affection, and only have monetary interests in their eyes. In the process of getting along, they will always take your efforts for granted and think that you deserve it. Once you stop giving, you will be hated by the other person.
So, in middle age, you have to know that not all of your loved ones are worth your effort. In life, you have to know how to keep your distance from your loved ones and let them know that you are not so approachable. Always be nice to others, which will make others think that you are a "soft persimmon". Once you meet relatives who dislike the poor and love the rich, you must cut off contact as soon as possible, otherwise the more you give, the easier it is to make enemies.
But many people don't know how to say no to others. They always try their best to help when faced with the requests of their relatives, but they are not grateful when they help others. The author advises everyone to stay away as soon as there are signs of such snobbish relatives.
3. Ungrateful relatives.
In life, there are always some loved ones. No matter how good you are to them and how sincere you are to them, they will never be grateful, will never remember your kindness, and will never look for an opportunity to repay you.
Many people in life can't figure out why they can be so cruel to their loved ones and take revenge with hatred. In fact, your bottomless dedication to your loved ones will only allow the other party to take advantage of them and take everything for granted.
Such people can turn against others at any time because of their own personal interests. Their hateful look makes people shudder.
For example, in life, many people will lend money to relatives when they encounter difficulties. However, when they urgently need a large sum of money, the relatives turn a blind eye and refuse to pay it back for various reasons.
When you meet such a relative, you must reflect on it. Are you so kind that you have no bottom line and make the other person feel that you are easily controlled? To the point of being ungrateful again and again.
If you find out who the other person really is, put away your kindness and don't give it for free. Otherwise, you'll only make enemies. If you continue to get along, you will only bring disaster to yourself.
As the old saying goes: "Helping the poor is not helping". When you accept help from a relative, you have to look at the motivation for the other person's actions. If the request is for a family member or child with a serious illness to attend school, you can help. If it's for something else, try not to help. hands, otherwise it is difficult for the other party to generate gratitude.
4. Love relatives who take advantage.
In life, there are always some relatives who like to take advantage. They are always self-centered and don't think about the feelings of others. As long as they take advantage, they will be happy all day without shame.
If you get along with relatives who like to take advantage of you, you should be wary of them. After all, they will do something harmful to others and self-serving at any time. Even if they take advantage of you, they won't be relentless. Once discovered, they won't admit it.
The author's third wife, for example, was fond of taking advantage of her. Since the two of us are next to each other, every time she comes to my house and sneaks in, she will take away any good things she sees, such as pots and pans, quilts, brooms, benches, etc. It's all her goal. Every time I go to her house, I always see a lot of familiar things.
However, because of the kindness of the parents, things were stolen, and they didn't say anything, just complained at home. Such behavior also connived at Sanniang's behavior, so much so that she became more severe, even when our doors were locked, she would climb the wall and touch things.
Some time ago, my mother noticed that there were a lot of things missing in the house, and she said something at the door of the house angrily. Although she did not name names, Sanniang was very angry.
In fact, you must keep your distance from relatives who take advantage of you, and you can't blindly be humble and tolerant just because you are relatives. After all, such relatives can't change bad habits. No matter how much you give, they won't be grateful. On the contrary, they will only be happy if you take advantage of them.
5. Selfish relatives.
There are always some selfish relatives around us. No matter how much you give, they won't be grateful. They will only think that you are giving too little. This kind of person always pays attention to personal interests and only seeks to take. Never volunteer.
This kind of selfish person seeks advantage and avoids harm. They will only do what is good for them. No matter what problems they encounter in life, they will only shirk their responsibilities and will not consider the feelings of others.
For such egoists, you must stay away from them in time, otherwise they will only ask for unlimited things, and they will not feel guilty even if it harms your interests.
Although relatives are very close people, everyone must draw a line with their relatives in their daily interactions. When you encounter something that is detrimental to your interests, you must say "no" loudly. Only by sticking to our bottom line can we live a more harmonious life. 。
Of course, for the above five types of relatives, it does not mean that you must break up with them, but you must keep your distance, don't give stupidly, and don't give them sincerity, otherwise you will only be disappointed.
Those who cherish me, I will cherish, and those who do not like me, I will abandon. "I hope you all meet kind, friendly, polite and helpful relatives!