When it comes to brotherhood, Su Shi's "Water Tune Song Head" is undoubtedly the best, describing his nostalgia for his younger brother Su Zhe.
One sentence".I hope that people will last a long time, and they will be together for thousands of miles"., it has become a quatrain that has been passed down through the ages, and has been quoted and appreciated by countless descendants.
The most heart-warming feelings in this world are undoubtedly from the blood connection, in addition to parents, siblings are their closest relatives.
Everyone wants siblings to love each other, help each other, and take care of each other at every stage of life.
However, in reality, countless siblings have inherent contradictions, drifting apart in mutual harm, and they do not get along with each other.
Many times, whether brothers and sisters are "close or not" often depends on these 3 people, so don't underestimate them.
It depends on the parents, and the love of the parents determines the relationship between the two brothers
Living in the same family, parents are the two people who have the most influence on their children, both as teachers and guides for them.
The love that parents give to their children will become the driving force for their growth and development, but if this love is biased, it will produce resistance.
Especially in families with many children, even fair and just parents cannot absolutely balance the bowl of water.
Differential treatment in some subtleties will also become a lingering shadow in the child's heart, resulting in unfair thoughts.
Not to mention that the partiality of many parents has reached the point of being exposed, and it will have a great impact on the physical and mental health of their children.
The child who is despised will not only feel aggrieved by the partiality of his parents, but will also gradually develop hatred for the favored siblings.
This is undoubtedly a hidden danger within the family, and one day in the future, it may suddenly break out, catching everyone off guard.
During the Three Kingdoms period, Cao Cao was always hesitant to choose an heir, and at first he especially favored the brilliant Cao Cong.
But Cao Cong died very early, and Cao Cao turned his attention to Cao Zhi, who was extremely literate, which made his brother Cao Pi, a fellow mother, very jealous.
Cao Cao's preference for Cao Zhi became more and more obvious, and Cao Pi's hatred for Cao Zhi became deeper and deeper, and he even had the intention to get rid of the other party.
Even if Cao Pi succeeded in ascending the throne later, he still refused to let go of Cao Zhi, and repeatedly forced the other party to belittle him to a distance.
It can be seen how much influence parents' partiality towards their children will have on sibling affection, and even affect the unity of the family.
It depends on the lover, and the pillow wind determines the family style
When I was young, even if my brothers and sisters were at odds, they were a family with broken bones and tendons, and conflicts could be resolved internally.
When they grew up, they formed their own small families, and the interests they represented and adhered to were no longer the same, and they began to become unfamiliar.
The brotherhood of the past has gradually faded, and the feelings that have been replaced by the affection and advice given by the lovers around you are the ones around you.
And the attitude of the lover towards his siblings will also imperceptibly affect his judgment and choice.
A broad-minded partner will put himself in the shoes of the whole family, unite all the forces that can be united, and make progress together.
A selfish and suspicious partner will try to reap the benefits of other places, and only care about the prosperity of his own family, without asking anyone else.
Influenced by the former, even if they are separated from the big family, they can still connect with each other's feelings and never forget the old feelings.
If you are bewitched by the latter, you may fall into a restless life, and under its malicious instigation, you will turn against your family.
In the TV series "Mansion Gate", the three brothers of the Bai family originally had a good relationship, but they still broke up after their father.
The culprit who caused this incident was Bai Fangshi, the wife of Bai Yingyu, the third child, who instigated her husband to divide the family and property all day long.
Bai Yingyu, who was already greedy, really had a quarrel with the whole family after listening to his wife's encouragement, and had to take away part of the family property.
As the old saying goes:"The southeast wind, the northwest wind, is not as good as the lover's pillow wind. ”
Picking the wrong person next to the pillow will not only make the family conflicts, but also make the siblings gradually dislike, and eventually the family will be ruined.
It's up to you that any relationship is a causal cycle
No matter how much influence others have on themselves, the person who finally makes the decision is still himself, and the same is true of sibling relationships.
Brothers and sisters can remain close as always, and they are the most important and important factor.
Some people are indifferent, selfish and selfish in their hearts, and only think about themselves in everything, so no matter who is a family with them, they will not have a close relationship.
Some people are naturally emotional, warm for everyone, and sincere in their treatment of siblings, so their relationships are naturally intimate.
Everything has a cause and effect, and in the sibling relationship, every person who is related by blood is the real cause and can bear the final fruit.
At the same time, the degree of compatibility of siblings' personalities also determines the intimacy of their relationship with each other to a large extent.
Siblings who are close in age are more likely to have common language and topics, and tend to be closer.
If the age gap is too large, it is difficult to find a common topic, and the estrangement is even deeper, these are objective factors that are difficult to change.
Siblings with similar interests and personalities are more likely to form relationships and have stronger relationships with each other.
No matter what the situation, no matter what the depth of the relationship, it must be on the premise of mutual respect and understanding in order to last.
As Zhang Ailing said:"No one is born inferior, and no one is born inherently indebted to anyone. ”
Only if you give sincerely, the other party will reciprocate sincerely, because any relationship is mutual, and brothers and sisters are no exception.
Huang Zongxi has a saying that makes a lot of sense:"Between flesh and blood, one more is thick, and there is more family affection, and right and wrong don't have to be too clear. ”
Between the hands and feet, they can be far or near, like the branches of a tree, connected by a common bloodline.
In the world, family affection is very warm, and it needs to be managed carefully.
Once the management is neglected, no matter how good the family relationship is, it will be buried little by little by the dust of the years.
Cherish this hard-won brotherhood, and don't quarrel and make trouble because of a small benefit.
Be more considerate of their feelings, take into account the feelings of their siblings, and have a relationship that will last longer.