My friend Xiaoxiao, in my impression, has always been an honor student. When I was in elementary school, I was the class president. When I was in middle school, I was the secretary of the Youth League branch, and I was admitted to the university in advance with excellent grades and became a technician in a scientific research institute.
Now, Xiaoxiao is 32 years old, and she is still alone just after the age of standing. In fact, the small self-conditions are extremely superior. There are already three properties and a 300,000 yuan SUV.
And as far as I know, Xiaoxiao's standards for choosing a mate are not high.
Poetry and distance, milk and bread.
This is the mate selection condition that Xiaoxiao told me.
Let me understand, that is, a man who knows how to be romantic and sincere and can live a life.
But these two things seem ordinary, but it is difficult to concentrate on young men.
Most young boys are not very good at living delicately and sincerely loving each other. ”
It is also Xiaoxiao's most disappointed summary after countless blind dates.
But in reality, the little friends of the same age are all married, but she has become an older "leftover girl"!
This has also become a big problem in the little life.
Her little family, friends, and co-workers began to worry about her marital problems.
In their traditional thinking, Xiaoxiao, as a girl, should do her duty as a woman.
Because of this, the pressure on Xiaoxiao's body made Xiaoxiao feel very suffocated.
It's not that Xiaoxiao doesn't want to get married, but Xiaoxiao doesn't want to give herself to an unreliable man easily.
But who can understand the psychology of the little delicate.
In the eyes of many people, Xiaoxiao feels that it is a sin not to get married, and she has to bear the accusations and private discussions of others every day.
As a little friend, I understand my little inner thoughts very well. But a person's understanding seems to be useless.
Xiao Xiao is still secretly sad.
Tiny is soft, but it's not weak.
In fact, I also secretly found the light and direction in my heart.
Xiaoxiao once told me that she firmly believes in her unique self and has her own unique life trajectory, and there is no need to follow traditional concepts.
She believes that there will be someone in the world waiting for her, and happiness is worth looking forward to.
Getting married or not is not the only way in life.
Xiaoxiao once told me that she had shown herself calm and comfortable in the face of blind dates, although she was still a little annoyed and felt that she was wasting time.
But she was already planning not to get married.
So every blind date for her is just an examination of a man's strengths and weaknesses.
I see the little heart, walking alone.
This is probably the manifestation of a strong heart under the gentle and amiable appearance!
Not long ago, Xiaoxiao and I came face to face, and when we talked about the family's urging and discussion, I was already able to laugh happily and no longer worry about blind dates.
Small**: I don't want to tie my happiness to other people's expectations. So, it was up to me to come forward and work with her to convince her family. ”
By the way, I forgot to introduce Xiaoxiao, it's a relative of mine, a cousin within eight poles!
After meeting her parents three or five times, her family gradually accepted the reality.
However, in private, her family called me to tell me that Xiaoxiao believed me and tried to persuade her to get married.
In fact, "marriage is not something that everyone has to experience, and it is a good thing for girls not to get married!" ”
Because, everyone's growth and life choices are different.
Marriage does not mean happiness.
It is not a measure of a person's success or failure in life, nor is it a measure of a person's physical or mental problems.
Rather, it is the best choice for a small heart with a delicate heart and a rational prudence.
In fact, in my private conversation with Xiaoxiao, Xiaoxiao asked me rhetorically.
Do you really have to get married to have a better life? ”
I was asked.
Yes, back then, if I hadn't found my beloved wife, I would never have gotten married.
Love is in anyone's heart, and it is a thing that cannot be done like life.
Because, this thing means a lifetime.
When people live, is love the direction of life or a dream? ”
I replied, it should be a dream!
Brother, to be honest, in addition to love, does your marriage also mean huddle for warmth? ”
I couldn't help but think deeply about the story of my wife and me.
It is undeniable that marriage is like two people who rely on each other because of love on a dark road. In fact, if the heart is strong and there is no love, a person can go on.
In my heart, I wanted to slowly convince my little heart, and it seemed to be a little shaken.
I know that a small income in a third-tier city can get 16,700 yuan a month, which can be regarded as a high-income group. But the small life is still very frugal and never wasted.
The phone has been used for a long time, and I have to charge it twice a day, but I still don't want to replace it.
Xiaoxiao told me that she should save money well because money is more secure than men.
When I think of my child, I often want to laugh.
The little idea is very mature, and it doesn't seem that it should be what she should have at her age.
I thought I was a little mature, and I was at ease.
Unexpectedly, half a year later, her parents hit ** and let me pass.
It turned out that Xiaoxiao was in love with a man with four walls.
This blew my mind, because I know that people who are experiencing online dating for the first time can easily get carried away and imagine the other person as the perfect poet from afar.
For two nights in a row, I rushed to Xiaoxiao's home to chat with Xiaoxiao.
The little online dating is exactly the same as I imagined. It's just that after Xiaoxiao went to meet online dating, she was a little surprised.
Because, the lovers on the Internet, the four walls of the house, the only furniture big wardrobe, or three legs, one leg is padded with bricks.
Out of trust in me, Xiaoxiao showed me the chat history of the two.
Those imported poems and chicken soup for the soul, like mind control, are small.
Let Xiaoxiao believe that this is love.
I also managed to find a sentence to convince her!
Love is firewood, rice, oil, salt, sauce, vinegar tea! ”
In her love, these are all lacking, but there is no lack of lies.
After revealing the reality, Xiaoxiao cried.
A napkin, a symbolic hug, and a comforting snare scraper.
I'm gone, I know Tiny has figured it out, it's better to make her cry for a while.
On the way, I remembered what I said, "If the love between the two is long, how can it be in the morning and twilight." ”
Marriages in the world are all happiness on the surface, but chicken feathers behind the scenes.
I think that after this little experience, I am afraid that I will not think about getting married again in this life.
Actually, about the issue of marriage. It's okay to have an open and honest conversation and communication with your family, express your thoughts and feelings, and let them know what you're thinking.
At the very least, through communication, you can reduce the pressure from your family and seek support and understanding from friends and loved ones.
Everyone has the right to decide their own marriage and family life, and everyone should respect the choices of others and should not persuade and discuss the marital status of others.
After a long time, when Xiaoxiao invited me to dinner, he looked at me deliberately and said, "It's all your fault!" I'm not interested in men at all now! Also, I applied to go abroad for further study, and I will leave in a few days, and I can only play ** in the future! ”
I remembered the words of blessing in my heart, smiled and did not speak.
When I was leaving, I wanted to go, but I didn't go to the airport. Because I don't want to see the reluctant parting between relatives, and I want to see the eyes of a little firm and alone.
Xiaoxiao once told me that you don't necessarily have to be a man in life, but you must have faith and a goal to strive for. Love is not the only thing in life, there are many more important things waiting for her.
In fact, through Xiaoxiao, I also see many single women, living a chic and elegant life, they are a beautiful scenery in this society, confident, firm, and full of rationality.
I used to have a question in my mind.
What should I do if I am single and old? ”
I originally wanted to ask Xiaoxiao, but one of my female classmates had a very good relationship when she was in school.
She said: "Money is more reliable than men's pension. When you are old, you can live in a nursing home, or you can huddle together for warmth. ”
My classmate is a 45-year-old CFO of a large company and is still single.
When I chatted with her, I learned that she had also talked a few times.
It's not cheating money, it's greedy for sex, in short, I haven't seen an excellent man appear.
I asked her, is it too high-minded?
She said, as long as you are sincere, you can have no car and no house, is it high?
Such conditions are indeed not high.
Didn't meet a sincere one. ”
It was her answer as she sighed and looked into the distance.
Then you can't give up, huh? ”
Actually, when I was 35 years old, I gave up. It's good to be single. I often travel alone, and I decide anything on my own without consulting with others. I think that's good. ”
In fact, it is easy for people to adapt to single life, and it is difficult to adapt to life after marriage.
Because of being single, it basically does not change the original life status. And life after marriage can be said to be in exchange for losing a lot of freedom and rights.
This is something that many single men and women can't accept now.
Because, it is a very reluctant thing for others to make decisions for themselves.
In particular, some women with strong hearts and strong subjective will are even more reluctant to obey the choices of others.
In addition, the next step in marriage means having children, and the body and appearance will become very poor, and you will lose your job because of taking care of children.
The main thing is that most young women nowadays think that it is not worth sacrificing too much for a family. Often when I sacrifice everything, I lower my status, and I need to compromise in life.
If you don't be wronged and don't endure it for a lifetime, what you face them is likely to be divorced.
And after paying for these, women themselves lost all their advantageous resources, but ended up in a tragic divorce.
Therefore, most young women now would rather choose to be forever young and beautiful without marriage, rather than live their lives in a mess.
It is because, for a home full of uncertainties, it is too much to pay, it is dangerous, and it is extremely passive.
Rather than that, it's better to be single.