Aesthetic empathy is in the eyes of the lover
As the saying goes, "In the eyes of the lover". Why is an ordinary woman who looks like a mediocre woman as beautiful as a "Shih Tzu" in the eyes of her lover? What kind of emotional attitude makes couples make such aesthetic judgments?
British scientists have found that love is really blind, brain scans can show that when couples indulge in love, they will lose their ability to criticize, and there will be a situation of "lover's eyes", and it is more difficult to find each other's shortcomings and problems with each other.
Brain scans show that men and women who fall in love have the most active areas of the brain that respond to oxytocin and vasopressin, two hormones that help maintain and build relationships. This may explain why couples behave willfully and regret it soon after they get married. Zeki, a professor at University College London who has been studying brain scans for couples, said: "The scans show that love accelerates responses in specific areas of the brain's 'reward system' and slows down the activity of the system that makes negative judgments." ”
Our research shows that when the 'reward system' thinks about someone, the brain stops the activity of the network responsible for critical social evaluation and negative emotions, which explains the magic of love. ”
A Dutch study proves that this statement is indeed true, that people are more attractive in the eyes of their partners than in the eyes of strangers. Researchers believe this is due to "positive fantasies".
Positive fantasies in psychology refer to a kind of cognitive filtering of negative aspects of self, real life, and the future that an individual does in life or when faced with a threatening situation or stressful event. Although it is a deviation from reality, it is a positive psychological adaptation of the individual, showing the individual's positive grasp of reality and optimistic perception.
Positive fantasizing can have quite a few benefits. Studies have shown that couples with positive fantasies have happier married lives, fewer conflicts, and more love and trust. However, positive fantasies can also bring some downsides: if the relationship between couples is strained, positive fantasies can make them overly optimistic about each other's relationship, resulting in some problems that cannot be resolved in time.
Psychologists describe the characteristics of love as follows: the experience of love is mainly composed of a tender, loving emotion, and a person can feel happy, happy, satisfied, complacent, and even ecstatic when experiencing this emotion. We can also see such a tendency: the lover always wants to be closer to the beloved, the relationship is more intimate, always wants to touch him and hug him, always misses him. And the lover feels that the person he loves is either beautiful, kind, or charming, and in a word, satisfied.
In any case, the lover feels pleasure whenever he sees or is with the other person, and once separated, he feels pain. Perhaps this creates a tendency to focus on one's lover, but also a tendency to forget about other people, a tendency to feel narrow and ignore other things. It seems that the other person is attractive in his own right, and he attracts all his attention and feelings. This pleasant feeling of being in contact with each other is also expressed in the desire to spend as much time as possible with loved ones, such as at work, in play, in aesthetic and intellectual pastimes. In addition, the lover often shows a desire to share a pleasant experience with the beloved, so much so that it is often heard that this pleasant experience is made more pleasant by the presence of the sweetheart.
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