During the Spring Festival, a hot topic sparked heated discussions on the whole network: "Have you left your relatives?" ”。Many parents complained that the post-90s generation of young people not only did not want to go to their relatives, but even their relatives came to their homes to pay New Year's greetings, but they also hid in their rooms and refused to come out.
This can make parents anxious, they think, you don't go to relatives, don't pay New Year's greetings, you want to be relaxed for a while, but it is your children who suffer. When children grow up, they lack family nourishment, are lonely and lonely, and will eventually blame their parents for being selfish.
A netizen shared his distress: he has two sons, both of whom live in the city and have started their own families. Because they don't come home often, the two grandchildren don't kiss each other at all, and even often quarrel over toys and snacks, and there is no family affection between the cousins and brothers.
Faced with this situation, this netizen was very sad, he blamed his son for not educating his children well, thinking that cousins and brothers are close relatives and should be courteous to each other, and it is the fault of parents who do not understand humility.
However, the son felt very aggrieved, they thought that the two children did not live together, and they were both only children, and they were used to having all the toys at home, and it was normal to compete for it, and there was no need for adults to over-interpret it.
Parents want their grandchildren to move around a lot when they grow up, but the reality is hard. If they go to different cities in college, there will be even fewer opportunities to meet each other in the future, how can they enhance their relationship with each other?
This question not only made this netizen fall into contemplation, but also left many parents speechless.
In the minds of the older generation, the unity of children is a matter of paramount importance. They often say: "Break bones and tendons", and the family relationship connected by blood cannot be cut by any external force.
My mother was one such person who valued family affection. In her eyes, brothers and sisters should support each other and share weal and pain. Whenever she was in trouble, the first thing she thought of was to ask her brother and sister for help. And her younger siblings never let her down, and they always try their best to help.
My mother often said: "My mother and uncle are big, and they break bones and tendons." In her opinion, family affection is the most precious feeling in the world, and it cannot be replaced by any material thing. She hopes that we can be like her and her brothers and sisters, united and loving and helping each other.
Every Chinese New Year, my mother would tell us to visit my uncle and aunt with gifts. She said that walking around relatives is not only a courtesy, but also an important link to maintain family relationships.
Although my brother and sister-in-law work in other places all year round, my mother still hopes that they can come home often. She believes that a family is only complete when they are together. In order to get the children home for the New Year, the mother will even lose her temper with them. In her opinion, the separation of children is unfilial.
Perhaps, this is what the older generation thought. They have experienced ups and downs and know the preciousness of family affection. They hope that their children can unite and help each other and continue this warmth.
They fear that if their children are disconnected, the next generation of children will become lonely and helpless. When you encounter difficulties, without your siblings to rely on, life will be full of ups and downs.
From the perspective of young people, they believe that the traditional concept of family affection is outdated. They believe that personal ability is the key factor in determining life. If you are good enough, you don't need to rely on the help of your relatives. And if your own ability is insufficient, even if you have relatives to help, it is difficult to change your fate.
In addition, the warmth and coldness of real life also make many young people disappointed in their family feelings. The old saying "no one asks about the poor in the downtown area, but the rich have distant relatives in the mountains" vividly analyzes the good and evil of human nature. In the face of interests and comparisons, family affection often seems fragile.
For those relatives who like to compare and be jealous, it is reasonable for young people to choose to stay away. They would rather spend their time and energy on like-minded friends than with hypocritical relatives.
A teacher's point of view may be able to explain the deep reason for young people's "severance": "Young people severing their relatives is not ruthless and unjust, but rather emotional. Their disappointment in family affection is not a disregard for affection, but a rejection of falsehood and indifference. They crave genuine, equal affection that traditional family relationships often fail to satisfy.
For many young people, visiting relatives is a chore. They often feel that they have nothing to say to their relatives, so they can only sit awkwardly and play on their mobile phones, full of boredom and loneliness.
Older people have gone through different eras, and their life experiences and values are very different from those of younger people. For topics that young people are passionate about, such as games, anime, two-dimensional, etc., it is often difficult for older people to understand and even feel unfamiliar.
At the gathering of relatives, some relatives like to talk about their children, jobs, wealth, etc., and it is inevitable that there is a sense of showing off between words. This is undoubtedly a pressure and burden for young people whose careers have not yet started and are not financially independent.
In addition, some relatives like to probe into personal privacy, which also disgusts young people. When questioned by relatives, young people often feel scrutinized and judged, which makes them defensive and reluctant to open up and communicate.
In contrast, with friends, young people can speak freely, share their interests and inner feelings, and provide emotional value and spiritual comfort to each other.
From the perspective of young people, we should understand their choice of affection. A generation has a generational way of life, and we cannot impose our ideas on our children.
Most of the parents' generation grew up in families with many siblings, and the concept of family affection is deep-rooted. Most of the post-90s generation are only children, who have lived in a relatively independent environment since childhood, and naturally have relatively little contact with relatives. Therefore, it is not surprising that there is a difference in the attitude of the two generations towards their relatives.
In fact, when young people have their own careers and families, they will naturally understand the importance of family affection and will maintain it in their own way.
Forcing young people to go to relatives only makes them more disgusted. Instead of that, encourage them to work hard and improve themselves. When they become strong, they will naturally have more rights to choose family affection.
The phenomenon of post-90s family breakup