If you want to look at the civilization of a country, you only need to look at three things:
First, see how they treat the children; second, how they treat women; Third, look at how they use their leisure time. ——Hu Shi, as the standard-bearer of the New Culture Movement, set a good example in these three things, which can not only see the degree of civilization of a nation, but also reflect the qualities that a good man should have. Many people say that a woman supports the happiness of three generations, in fact, men are equally important. To see whether a man is reliable or not, it mainly depends on how he treats women and children, that is, the responsibilities of parents, wives and children. 
1. A good man: First of all, he is a good son, with the filial piety of a son of man!
Hu Shizai once said, "I have been alone in this vast desert sea of people for more than 20 years, and no one has ever controlled me." If I learn the slightest bit of good temper, if I learn a little bit of kindness, if I can forgive and be considerate,—— I have to thank my mother. ”
Hu Shi is very filial.
Hu Shi's childhood should be said to be quite unfortunate. When he was less than 4 years old, his father died. Before his father died, he left his last words to his mother: to the effect that Hu Shi, the child, was talented and intelligent, and he must be allowed to study. At this time, Hu Shi's mother was only 23 years old, and like most young widowed mothers at that time, she regarded this will as her spiritual pillar to live.
The young Hu Shi studied very seriously, and the first one to go to school every day, attend morning classes, and only go home for breakfast after memorizing the books.
He felt sorry for his mother's status in the old-fashioned family, and he occasionally made mistakes and did not dare to resist, but he only needed a stern look from her, and he was frightened, and he would continue to be trained after waking up the next morning.
Hu Shi wrote when recalling his mother:
Every day at dawn, my mother woke me up and told me to sit up in my clothes. I never knew how long it had been since she woke up and sit. When she saw that I was sober, she told me that I had done something wrong yesterday, said something wrong, and asked me to admit my mistake and study hard. Sometimes she told me about the good things of her father, and she said, 'You must always walk in the footsteps of your son.' I have only known this perfect man all my life, and you must learn from him, and do not fall into his shares. (Falling in stock means losing face and making a fool of yourself.) ）”
Whenever this happens, he will always kneel down obediently, let his mother blame or twist the meat, and keep silent. He said that his mother was the first teacher and gave him training in life.
Hu Shi went abroad to study, afraid that his mother would be worried, so he often took the initiative to "beg his mother to send Huangshan cypress tea, or six or four bottles, each bottle and a half catty are enough." "To the U.S. to keep in touch with my mother with the help of tea.
After receiving it, he will reply intimately: "The tea sent before ......."In addition to distributing to friends, keep the rest for your own use. ”
He relied on letters to tell his mother about his affairs outside the home and reported peace to her.
Of course, his greatest filial piety is to marry Jiang Dongxiu.
Filial piety is the first in life, and filial piety is the origin of a hundred lines since ancient times. His filial piety can be seen.
After his mother's death, he recorded his heart in "The Deeds of His Ancestors": "I can't raise my life, I can't serve when I'm sick, I can't work hard all my life, I can't take the slightest responsibility, and I can't live and die, and my life is miserable, why is this so?" ”
A filial man must be kind in nature. Because family affection is the most instinctive manifestation of great selfless feelings.
2. A good man: He must be a good husband, and he and his wife respect and love each other!
Ban Zhao of the Eastern Han Dynasty said: "If the husband is not virtuous, there is no royal wife." ”
In the family, although the husband represents responsibility and half authority, he must not lack gentleness and respect. Women are sensual and need a trickle of emotion, and it is easy for a husband to care, communicate and accompany in the details to make his wife satisfied.
The world says that Hu Shi's respect and love made his marriage hide an unusual affection.
When Hu Shi was 13 years old, his mother made the decision to marry him. 15 years after getting engaged, Hu Shi and Jiang Dongxiu have never met.
Hu Shi also resisted, doubted, and contradicted in his heart, but in the end, he did not overturn the marriage because he "couldn't bear to hurt the hearts of several people".
I understand the status of women in old-fashioned marriages. ”
In 1917, Hu Shi, a professor at Peking University who returned from studying in the United States, married Jiang Dongxiu.
Hu Shi and his wife Jiang Dongxiu.
Historian Tang Degang said: "This woman with small feet, piercing eyes, and who loves to play mahjong has become the last blessed person in traditional Chinese society." ”
After marriage, Hu Shi wrote a poem to explain himself:
Don't you love freedom? No one knows what this means. If you don't want to be free, you're free. ”
This is Hu Shi, who believes in his words and is righteous in his deeds.
In the eyes of outsiders, Hu Shi and Jiang Dongxiu are very incompatible, one is a suave scholar and talent, and the other is a rough country woman with small feet, but they live happily!
When Hu Shi went out, Jiang Dongxiu wrote to him. A letter to his family, full of typos and many language barriers, is very moving for Hu Shi to read. He was so excited that he immediately wrote a poem to praise his wife: he got a woman's book when he was sick, and he was less than eight lines of paper; I am glad that there is nothing important to say. I have long been accustomed to my wife's rough voice, and I can't help but be delicate and soft and good to him.
A good marriage often has a man with a soft heart, who knows how to appreciate and be considerate of the other half.
After marriage, the financial power is in the hands of his wife, he can't buy books to the fullest, so he pays on credit, after a long time, his wife pays back the money, and when he comes back, he complains and abuses, he only laughs and never loses his temper.
Hu Shi is a good drinker, it just so happened that Jiang Dongxiu hated him for drinking, and ordered a ban on alcohol, once, he was at a party with a professor after a lecture at a university, and when others handed him the wine, he took out a ring engraved with "Quit drinking", and said helplessly: This is his wife's order, if she knows, it will turn the world upside down.
He believed that tolerance was more important than freedom.
Hu Shi had 35 PhDs in his lifetime, and his most interesting research was the study of his wife. Crazy collection of PTT (afraid of wife) copper coins, and also launched the PTT Association.
He is the author of the famous theory of "three obedience and four virtues": the wife must follow when she goes out, the wife must obey the orders, and the wife must blindly obey when she says something wrong; Mrs. has to wait for makeup, Mrs. has to remember her birthday, Mrs. has to endure beating and scolding, and Mrs. has to be willing to spend money.
Many men will say good words, but it is rare that when they say it, they are not in love, not newlywed, but old husbands and wives.
Many men will say good words, and it is rare to do what they say.
Jiang Dongxiu has no other hobbies in his life, but he loves to rub mahjong. In 1957, Hu Shi became the president of the China Research Institute and moved his family to Taipei.
It is said that Jiang Dongxiu has no acquaintances in Taipei, and Hu Shi is afraid that she will be unhappy, so he recruits troops to help her find a friend. She is addicted to playing mahjong, she doesn't cook, she only boils a pot of tea eggs for Hu Shi to feed and dress for a week, and Hu Shi is also happy and has no opinion.
I love you, in exchange for them, this house is contracted by me, you just concentrate on playing mahjong.
Hu Shi laughed at himself and was afraid of guilt, and in his later years, he publicly taught the secret of marriage happiness to his younger generations: "Respect it for a long time." ”
The life of him and Jiang Dongxiu started from "not being free", and finally "willing not to be free, is free".
He is calling for wind and rain outside, and he is well-known in the literary world and the ** education world, and he is a heartthrob, but he is willing to listen to his mother and wife, and be a man with low eyebrows and ears at home. is also in this way, he has become a rare clear stream in the modern literary world: a couple in his life, and a bumper harvest in his career and family.
A good man with ability is afraid of women at home, afraid that women will be good to him, afraid that women will take care of him, and afraid that women will be unhappy. All fears are because of love.
Hu Shi said, the phrase of respect for a long time can be used as a maxim for couples to get along, the so-called respect, is respect, respect for each other's personality, only then can there be eternal happiness!
3. A good man: He must be a good father, he will be raised if he is born, and he will be good if he is raised.
Hu Shi with his wife and son.
A man who can be called a good husband is probably a good father, who is responsible, understands righteousness, and can communicate with his children on an equal footing.
Hu Shi, like ordinary people, was not ready to be a father before his son came. In response to that sentence: all parents are employed without training.
But he said that since you are here, I can't help but raise you and teach you, and that is my obligation to humanity.
He dominates: the relationship between father and son is independent, tolerant, equal, and respectful.
Hu Shisheng had two sons, the eldest son Hu Zuwang was an engineer for a Chinese airline, and the youngest son Hu Sidu unfortunately died young.
He loves children very much, but love is not the same as doting, he is very strict with education, the younger son because of his poor health when he was young, tends to play, he said: "You have to be an upright person, don't want you to be my filial son." ”
In the family letter written to the eldest son, there is such a sentence: "Homework must be tested for the best, conduct must be listed as the best, and life must be the best person, this is the child with ambition." ”
Fist pity the son, cut the father's heart.
Not all good fathers are synonymous with being strict and arranged, but rather the opposite.
A friend of mine said that until middle age, he was still afraid of his father, and that rude, bad relationship has been with him since he was young. 
Love is the most elusive thing in this world, it doesn't know how to come, it doesn't know where to go, it is difficult to describe it in words, only to experience, pay, and accompany with heart.
And a man's love is mainly reflected in responsibility.
First of all, we must be responsible for ourselves, cherish our bodies, and work hard for our careers; Be responsible for the family, make the elderly comfortable, the wife happy, and the children happy, so that the family will become vibrant; Be socially responsible, because men control half of the world.
If mother's love brings satisfaction to children, then father's love is a direction.
For a boy, a good father is a role model for him to grow up; For a girl, a good father is her future prospect for choosing a mate.
A reliable man who understands the role from son to husband to father is a process of continuous evolution and cultivation, which is enough to take on it.
Such a family must be happy and complete!