Some things, some people, can never be done from scratch

Mondo Social Updated on 2024-02-01

In the movie "**", He Baorong said to Li Yaohui: "It's better for us to start all over again". This sentence is enough to move him for anyone who has had a regretful past.

It's easy to say, but it's too hard to do. Because it takes courage to start all over again, to lower yourself to the dust, to give up your dignity and make peace with the one who is leaving. And whether it can be retained is still unknown. Even if you can start from scratch, you can see if it will last a long time.

I once had a boyfriend who had been in love for four years, and when we first got together, we also promised each other that we would be together for the rest of our lives, that we would understand and tolerate each other, and that we would grow old with each other. It's just that in the course of four years, we have been divided and combined many times. Last winter, we were completely separated. Every time we separate and reunite, we think it is the last time we say separation, but there are some things that cannot be completely erased once they happen. So after a while, we started to quarrel endlessly again. And so on and so forth, and everyone is exhausted. I don't know how he felt until the last time we parted, but in addition to sadness and regret, there was also relief in my feelings.

After going through the splitting and merging, I had doubts about starting all over again. I used to think that as long as two people love each other enough, then no matter what happens, it can't stop us from falling in love. As long as two people are sincere enough and willing to change for each other, then they will definitely be able to start over, rebuild the old friendship, and be happy with each other to the end.

Maybe some things can be done all over again, but in love, you can never start all over again. Whether you want to admit it or not, another person who everyone doesn't want to admit is forced or voluntarily undergoing some irreversible changes.

Slowly, slowly, the two people changed from intimacy to improvisation, making do with maintaining the integrity of the family, making do with life. What used to be nothing to say has slowly turned into nothing to say, and everything promised to each other has also become a pale that cares for each other without words.

We are changing, and so are the other party. There will be conflicts between your current self and your past self, and the same is true for your current lover. So that's why we feel bored all the time, we want to run away from it, and we are conflicted all the time. We tried desperately to get back to our original feelings, but we could never get them back.

Just like my ex and I, after every time we get back together, we say that we want to get rid of the faults that make each other feel uncomfortable, and we also say that we should be more tolerant and considerate of each other. However, after starting over, we found that the previous problems were still there and never went away.

The feelings are real, but so are the scars. Just as the reunion of the broken mirror is just an illusion, even if they are glued together again, those cracks are still terrifying and conspicuous.

Therefore, people who have passed the past can be nostalgic, but they cannot rewrite it. No matter how good the past is, it can only end here.

is like Liu Ruoying sang in "Later":

Then I finally learned how to love.

It's a pity that you have long since disappeared into the sea of people.

Later, I finally understood in tears.

Some people don't miss it anymore.

So even if we learn and know how to love later, that person has long disappeared in the sea of people and will not come back. In life, there is only a confirmation key and a delete key, and there is no return key.

The saddest thing is never a breakup. Instead, he knew that it was no longer possible, and he still clung to the past. If you look at it, you can start from the beginning.

Even if you can start from scratch, that person will always be that person, and you will always be you. The original helplessness will continue.

Therefore, it is better to keep the good memories of the beginning than to let yourself get caught up in the cycle of tearing and tearing again, making both parties miserable.

That's it, the ending that is enough to love is actually quite good.

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