The end of the year is approaching, and people are discussing where to choose to celebrate the New Year.
In particular, for those who work outside the home all year round, the vacation is very limited. If the distance between the two parents' homes is very long, it is obvious that there is not enough time to juggle both sides.
Experts have made suggestions on this issue: the woman goes back to her parents' house alone, and the man takes the child for the New Year.
There are three reasons for this.
First of all, the woman also needs the company of her family.
Women often put their families at the center of their lives.
We are so accustomed to focusing on women's devotion that we ignore their need for affection, forgetting that they also miss their parents.
During the Chinese New Year, let the woman go home to accompany her parents, so that she can find emotional sustenance for her thoughts.
Secondly, during the Chinese New Year, men will fully show their fatherly love for their children.
This man has a busy schedule and has no time to play with his children.
If you don't go to work during the Chinese New Year holiday, you can't use lack of time as an excuse. Accompany the children well, experience the hard work of the wife taking care of the children on weekdays, and be more considerate of the wife.
Some men like to party during the Chinese New Year, either to drink or to play cards. If there are children around, they will not be able to indulge too much and will be a little more restrained.
Third, give your child a few days of freedom.
Children are strictly disciplined by their mothers, and although mothers have good intentions, they can sometimes make children feel constrained.
It is also good for children to have more freedom when they get along with their fathers, to try things that they usually dare not do, to play outdoors more, and to live a relaxed life.
The expert's suggestion sparked a heated discussion in the comment section, with endless arguments.
Someone posted an opinion on the Internet: "Why don't children follow their mothers? Is it possible to be better cared for by following my father? And if the woman goes back to her parents' house alone, there will soon be gossip about divorce, so it is better to go back with her husband and children. ”
Some netizens commented: "Mother goes back to her parents' house, shouldn't my sister-in-law go back?" Grandma also went back to her parents' house, but a surname could only cook and eat by herself. ”
Some netizens said: "I don't want to go back to my parents' house for the New Year, because in our hometown, married daughters can't go back to their parents' homes for the New Year." Even if I went back, my brother and sister-in-law didn't welcome me, so I didn't want to go to my in-laws' house. Why do you have to go home for the New Year? Isn't it good to spend the New Year in your own small family? ”
There are all sorts of rhetoric, and it is only when we stand on our own side that the opinion of experts does not always apply to us.
Not all parents are happy with their daughters coming home for the New Year.
One blogger shared her experience of feeling hurt when she returned to her parents' home for the Chinese New Year.
The blogger is divorced, takes his 4-year-old daughter, and drives an online car-hailing service in Shenzhen, although the income is okay, he always misses his hometown.
She planned to return to her parents' home with her daughter during the Chinese New Year, thinking that she would be able to spend the festival happily and let her daughter experience the joy of family reunion.
The mother pulled her aside and told her that she couldn't think of her daughter not being able to spend the Chinese New Year's Eve in her mother's house, and that it would be fine if it was fine, but if your brother was not doing well, the blame might be all on you.
The woman understood that on the thirtieth day of the Chinese New Year's Eve, she drove her daughter out, originally planning to find a hotel to live in, but unexpectedly received an order. Seeing the cold attitude of her younger brother and sister-in-law, she simply took her daughter to run a car, and as a result, she made a lot of money.
She admits to overestimating her parents' love, thinking that she is too persistent and has no home after getting married, but in fact, as long as she can be with her daughter, it will be home wherever she is.
Family happiness stems from happiness, but if you think too much about it, it will be difficult to enjoy it.
The reason for mentioning this issue is that I hope that people will be able to understand the emotions of women.
She longs for going back to her parents' home, but she is not obsessed with it.
Many people know that even after getting married, you have to go back to your in-laws' house for the New Year, after all, you have become a member of your in-laws' family, and you go back to your parents' house as a guest.
As a man, this cannot be taken for granted. During the Chinese New Year, one should be more considerate of his wife's feelings rather than putting all the housework responsibilities on her. It is also crucial for men to take the initiative to take responsibility for childcare. I believe that even if I celebrate the New Year at my parents-in-law's house, my wife will feel happy and satisfied.
It has been claimed that many disagreements can arise after marriage.
The essence of the contradiction lies in different positions.
It is an indisputable fact that women miss their hometown, and if their husbands can understand this, then women will feel that they have chosen the right partner and will be willing to go anywhere with their husbands.
Once the husband and wife quarrel, even if the wife returns to her parents' home, the mood is still unhappy.
The meaning of marriage is to be considerate, not to fight, and the advice of experts can be listened to, but in the end, we still need to make a decision that is suitable for our family according to the actual situation.