The bride price, a traditional marriage custom, has become a major burden for rural parents in recent years.
This year, I went deep into Shaanxi, Hubei, Henan and other places to conduct research, and found that marriage and family problems are particularly prominent, and the "hurricane" of bride price and the misery of parents have become common phenomena. It is understood that the national bride price in 2010 has appeared sharply, from the original 230,000 yuan as the base, so far at least 10 times. This huge bride price not only led to a surge in the number of unmarried men in rural areas, but also caused a series of social problems.
1. Bride price: the first bomb of family property
For traditional Chinese families, property is an important guarantee of family stability. Through thrift and hard work, rural parents have accumulated family wealth to cope with future risks and challenges. However, the emergence of a huge bride price poses a serious threat to the security of family property. For the sake of their son's marriage, rural parents often have to take out all their property, even at the expense of working a second time and borrowing debts. Once the bride price is in hand, the young daughter-in-law takes control of all the family's property, and the in-laws' attitude becomes very friendly. But once this kind of family relationship based on interests breaks down, the hope of the son remarrying will become slim.
Second, the bride price overdrafts the future of the family
Rural marriages brought about by high bride prices often put heavy economic pressure on families. Young daughters-in-law quickly gain large amounts of wealth through marriage, but due to their lack of ability to control the use of wealth, it often leads to a rapid loss of family wealth. The phenomenon of buying ** mobile phones, cars, and even luxury accessories is not uncommon, which just reflects the deformed market phenomenon in recent years. With the loss of family wealth, the ability of peasant families to resist risks has been further weakened, and the problems of elderly people who are sick and old-age, and children's education have become more and more serious.
3. Imbalance between rights and responsibilities
In the past, the mother-in-law usually held the power of the family property and was responsible for the planning and expenses of the family property. But with the soaring bride price, young people who receive a large bride price are more willing to live their own lives and pay more attention to personal enjoyment. When faced with favors and extended family expenses, they often shift the responsibility to their parents, making the burden on their parents even heavier. This imbalance between rights and responsibilities not only exacerbates family conflicts, but also makes parents feel exhausted.
In our research, we found that the traditional concept of "you must have a son and until you give birth to a son" has gradually faded. Many villagers are glad to have given birth to a daughter, but in order to reduce the burden on the family, villagers who have a son do not dare to give birth again. At present, there are still a large number of over-age migrant workers who work hard in the labor market, and a large number of them have to continue working for the bride price.
The high bride price has brought young people to control the family wealth, which makes the cost of family overdraft too low, and the stability of the family is challenged, and the uncertainty is heightened. This not only puts heavy pressure on rural parents, but also triggers a series of social problems. We need to re-examine this traditional custom, advocate the concept of rational marriage and love, return marriage to its essence, and let the family regain warmth and harmony.