I saw this idea in a book:
Compared with creating a superior living environment for children, what is actually more important is the words and deeds of parents.
The reason behind it is also easy to understand.
Children are very easily influenced by their parents' behavior, words and deeds since childhood, so it is not an exaggeration to say that parents are children's first teachers.
Too often, parents can focus on themselves and guide them through the right behaviors, while at the same time resolutely abandoning the wrong daily behaviors.
What kind of behavior is wrong?
Specifically, the more incompetent parents are, the more they like to pretend to be "generous" in 3 things, and in the end, they will suffer their children, please pay attention to yourself!
I've seen a story before.
A pair of parents are especially doting on their sons, and they will do their best to satisfy whatever the child wants.
When I was a child at school, my son saw that his classmates had expensive schoolbags, and his father patted his chest and said that it was okay for him to be rich.
When the children grow up, they spend more and more money, as parents, they should stop in moderation, but they think that they can't suffer their children, and they must be rich.
The two of them don't make much money themselves, but in order to satisfy their children's greed, they even borrow money from everywhere for him to spend.
Finally, one day, when the two parents could not afford their son's huge consumption, he felt sorry for his parents, in exchange for not understanding, but complaining.
People are self-aware, and this is especially true when it comes to raising children.
The real self-knowledge is how much money to do how much to do, don't pretend to be generous to consume, this is not love, but a harm to the growth of children.
For children, once they get used to "wanting the wind and the rain", then it is actually fueling their greed and will not consume according to their actual situation, which is a huge harm to their lives.
Don't always compare it with other people's consumption, but do what you can according to your actual situation, and don't encourage children's blind consumption is the best care.
Please remember that true love is never about favoritism and doting, but about knowing how to treat the situation correctly.
In real life, some parents always behave very "generously" when their children make some mistakes:
It doesn't matter, the child is still young. ”
No matter how old it is, it will get better when you grow up. ”
It can be said that their usual way is to turn a blind eye, never take the child's mistakes seriously, and once someone reminds them to discipline well, they will always prevaricate lightly.
However, the more generous you are about your child's mistakes, the more harmful it will be to the child's correct growth in the future, especially the formation of their correct three views.
Children are like a blank sheet of paper since childhood, they have encountered a lot of things on the way to growth, sometimes they can't tell right from wrong, often in many cases it is the discipline of their parents, so that they can really understand what is right and which is wrong, and which is right and which is wrong.
But if you don't say anything about your mistakes in the face of mistakes, or turn a deaf ear, it will only make your child slowly feel that he has never been wrong, and there will be no problems now, and when he grows up, he is destined to suffer a loss.
The most important thing is that if a person does not have the correct three views, he often cannot treat the choices wisely when facing choices on the road of life, and it is easier to go astray.
Therefore, no matter when, when a child makes a mistake, it should be educated, and the correction is to correct it in time, which is the best education for children.
As the saying goes: kindness is a virtue. ”
A person's best qualities are inseparable from this, but the premise is to protect oneself first, and not to be unconditionally kind to everyone.
After some children are hurt outside, parents always feel that it is not worth mentioning, and will only say that let the child be kind and patient, and let him use it as a kind of training.
However, if you always choose to back down when you encounter unfair harm, it will not solve the problem, but will easily lead to your children's cowardly personality and make your life become submissive.
Really smart parents will not let their children choose to tolerate when they are unfairly hurt outside, let alone always talk about kindness, but will let them protect themselves, fight back when they should fight back, and don't always back down.
The more you run away, the more problems will come to you; The more you retreat, the more the bad guys will bully you.
If parents keep pretending to be generous in this wrong matter, they will only cultivate their children into a pleasing personality, and they will only please others and lose themselves, causing great harm to their own lives.
As the saying goes: ten years of trees, a hundred years of people. ”
Correctly educating children has a positive, positive and far-reaching impact on their lives, which is of great significance.
In this case, we must first understand that "pretending to be generous" in some things will not play a positive guiding role, but will only backfire and cause irreversible negative effects on our own growth.
In the sea of life, children will eventually have to brave the rivers and lakes of life alone, and the correct education of parents is the deepest love and a more long-term consideration.
May the children of every family grow up strongly, make further progress in 2024, and harvest a lot on the road to growth!
end-** photo network.