Last weekend, I went back to my hometown because a distant relative had died at the age of 63. On weekends, I thought about attending the funeral, after all, when I was a child, this relative always gave me candy to eat, and I always felt that I had to go and see it. So I prepared a gift money and set out on the way home.
The whole funeral process was really eye-opening, with a ** team, a drum team, and a bunch of tents. Maybe it's because it's the Chinese New Year, and the people who went out to work in the village have come back, so there are a lot of people and it's very lively. The sound of firecrackers, fireworks, laughter, cries, all kinds of sounds mixed together, and a bunch of people playing cards around the table. If you look at the cigarette butts on the mahjong machine table and on the floor, there were seven or eight tables where cards should have been played last night. I felt a little complicated in my heart, and I couldn't help but get wet in my eyes when I watched this lively scene. Maybe it's because of the memories of my childhood, maybe it's the emotion of life, but it's more likely to be reluctance and regret.
After all, 63 years old is considered young in today's society. Looking at those relatives wearing filial piety clothes, except for their own children who were silent and their daughters were crying, the other nephews, nieces, nieces or people who were not very close to each other did not look sad at all, but talked and laughed as if they were having a party. Yes, that's right, for them, this funeral is a big party, even a gathering of family and friends. Because in this place, the relationship between relatives is different, and the way of wearing filial piety clothes is also different, which can be seen at a glance, and some people basically know each other. After the memorial service, they began to eat and drink, in fact, it is not appropriate to say that it is a wine banquet, that is, the owner invites everyone to eat and drink, and thanks everyone for coming to worship.
At the banquet, everyone ate meat and drank a lot of wine, and they didn't shy away from it at all. It feels higher than the company's annual meeting, and what is even more surprising is that some men actually use it as an opportunity to celebrate, fight wine, gamble on wine, drink one cup after another, persuade each other to drink, drink happily, and finally there are a few drunk brothers. After the whole banquet was over, my family and friends dispersed, but I sat there for more than an hour. Yes, on the one hand, I want to accompany the deceased more, because I will go to the cremation the next day; On the other hand, it is a deep reflection on the whole life and a new understanding of human nature.
Maybe it's because society is developing too fast, or maybe human nature is really getting complicated. is like what the Internet joke said: "Yuan Longping's greatest contribution in his life is to make the people full, but unfortunately he let the people eat too much, so full that they don't know how to be a person." Yes, in the past, when everyone didn't eat much, everyone helped each other, and humanity was good. Now, everyone has become strange, although they look familiar, but they are actually very strange, maybe like a so-called familiar stranger.
Eventually, it slowly got dark, and I slowly left with mixed emotions. On the way home, I always wanted to say something, but I didn't know what to say, let alone who to talk to. Because of the rules of the countryside, like an unwritten tacit understanding, everyone acquiesced. The funeral of the deceased is a big gathering of relatives and friends, and the scene is a place where everyone talks and laughs. When it was over, everyone was full, had drunk enough, and dispersed happily. It's as if waiting for the funeral of the next deceased.
I'm a native of the countryside and know this ethos all too well. But I really resist this kind of situation in my heart, but I can't help it, and I can't change anything. A person's life is full of many wonders, but once you die, during the period between death and burial, you become the focus of heated discussions in the village, and you are a bridge for family and friends to greet and connect. People will discuss your life trajectory from a variety of perspectives. But when the burial is over, it will slowly disappear from people's minds until they are completely forgotten, as if they had never been in this world, and disappear.
Is it scary? Is it pathetic? Maybe it's normal, and it's time to take it calmly. Feeling life, so when everyone is still alive, on the one hand, they have to work hard, and on the other hand, they have to live hard.
February** Dynamic Incentive Program