Zhou Na, a 22-year-old pregnant woman, is considering getting out of her marriage to her fiancé.
She and her fiancé, who lives in a county in Guizhou, met online with her fiancé, who was two years older, and the two got engaged after a year of dating. When she got engaged, Zhou Na took into account that the man was a single-parent family and had just bought a house, and the decoration cost a lot80,000 and 12Under the bride price standard of 80,000 yuan, I made the main 680,000 bride price, hardware jewelry also only chose three gold.
Gradually, she found that whenever there was a conflict, the man would threaten her with the bride price and three golds, "If you separate, you will return all the bride price and three golds to me, and you don't want to eat my family's bride price."
A month ago, Zhou Na found out that her fiancé was suspected of cheating, but in the face of chat and payment records, the other party has been avoiding and refusing to communicate, and the disheartened Zhou Na wants to separate. On the one hand, she has not yet thought about the fetus in her womb during pregnancy, and the physical damage and psychological shadow of the last miscarriage are still with her; On the other hand, she worries that she will not have time to hold and register her marriage, and that the bride price she has received will not be protected by law.
A response from a local lawyer also confirmed her concerns. Article 5 of the Judicial Interpretation of the Civil Code of the Supreme People's Court on Marriage and Family (I) (hereinafter referred to as the "Judicial Interpretation") implemented in 2004 clearly states that if the parties have not completed the marriage registration formalities, and the parties have gone through the marriage registration formalities but have not lived together and the pre-marital payment has been made, resulting in difficulties for the payer, the court shall support the parties' application for a refund of the bride price.
I had a miscarriage during the cohabitation period, the man betrayed me and had domestic violence against me, and I was not at fault, so why did the man ask for all the bride price to be returned? Zhou Na did not agree with the above-mentioned Judicial Interpretation. Like her, who has not registered her marriage or held a marriage ceremony, but has lived together and even had a history of pregnancy, once she broke up, the man asked the man to return all the bride price messages for help continue to emerge on the Internet.
On January 18, the Supreme People's Court issued the "Provisions on Several Issues Concerning the Application of Law in the Trial of Cases Involving Bride Price Disputes" (hereinafter referred to as the "Provisions"), pointing out that in recent years, new situations and new problems have emerged in disputes involving bride price.
When they are married and live together, the length of time they have lived together should be an important factor in determining whether and what percentage of the bride price will be returned. However, where a marriage has not been registered but is already living together, the actual use of the bride price and the dowry, as well as the circumstances of living together and the circumstances of the pregnancy, and the fault of both parties, shall be determined whether to return the bride price and the specific proportion of the return. The "Provisions" will come into force on February 1.
On January 30, Zhang Qian was ready to give the woman's 1680,000 yuan bride price. Figure provided by the interviewee.
Disputes. The bride price was originally for marriage and wife, and if the marriage is not completed or the divorce is missing, the woman will definitely have to return the money. Zhang Qian, a 24-year-old young man from a rural village in eastern Henan, is in a lawsuit over a bride price dispute with his ex-wife, who has been married for more than a year and has divorced.
According to local customs, if the man proposes to dissolve the marriage, the bride price is equivalent to compensation to the woman and cannot be returned; If the woman proposes, the bride price must be returned to compensate for the loss of the man's reputation as a "second marriage".
Zhang Qian said that the two have been married for more than a year and have a daughter, and the divorce generally no longer asks for the bride price, but the 350,000 yuan bride price given to the woman by the neighbor's eldest brother when he got engaged is a "top match" in the local area, and the bride price is left at the woman's mother's house. And the neighbor's eldest brother has to spend money to remarry after divorce, "I owe a lot of money, and it is too unfair to the man if he doesn't return it and take out a loan to get married!" ”
Zhang Jing, a marriage and family lawyer and lawyer at Beijing Lianggao Law Firm, said in an interview with China News Weekly that the 2004 Judicial Interpretation, which stated that the payment of the bride price "leads to difficulties in the payer's life", is usually understood in later judicial practice as borrowing money to marry a wife because he is unable to pay the bride price, and when he has done everything for the marriage but faces the possibility of losing the maintenance of the marriage, and does not fulfill the people's traditional expectations for marriage and childbearing, the law stipulates that it should be refunded.
Zhang Qian described the engagement marriage as "the beginning of family bankruptcy", and when he was about to get engaged, he calculated an account for China News Weekly, and the engagement money needed 1680,000 yuan, hardware costs more than 40,000 yuan, 60 to 80 boxes of gifts, tobacco and alcohol will cost about 150,000 yuan, which adds up to nearly 230,000 yuan in expenditure.
When it comes to marriage, the wedding gift must be at least 200,000 yuan for the woman. In addition, the woman felt that the new building that the man spent more than 300,000 yuan on was not enough, and asked to buy a house in the county seat, plus more than 800,000 yuan for decoration. Zhang Qian said that this is "standard" in the local area.
Zhang Qian's parents' goal in life was to marry their son a daughter-in-law, and since he was born, his parents began to save money for him. With 20 acres of land at home plus odd jobs, the parents' annual income is about 60,000 yuan, and even if the parents save money, they can only save about 50,000 yuan a year.
The financial pressure made him breathless, afraid to spend money, and reluctant to buy new clothes when he was about to get engaged. Zhang Qian said that he only started earning money at the age of 20, saving 50,000 yuan a year, "I don't rely on my family, even if I only pay a down payment for a house, I have to save until I am in my 30s before I can get married."
He thinks that the bride price in the countryside is too heavy, but "there is no recruitment", there are more than 40 "singles" in the village, most of them are because they have no money to get married, "There are few girls, you don't take money, who wants to marry you?" ”
A village manager (village manager) also bluntly told China News Weekly that many families in rural areas have saved half a lifetime of money for their sons to marry wives, but it is not necessarily enough, and it is not uncommon to borrow money from relatives to get married.
In economically developed regions, there are similar problems. Zhang Jing once ** a divorce case in Zhejiang, the man's parents started from scratch, suffered a lot when they were young, and when the only son got married, he paid the woman 660,000 yuan and 880,000 yuan in bride price twice, hoping to tell everyone at his son's wedding, "Now our life is better and decent."
Not to be outdone, at the wedding ceremony, the emcee asked the master of ceremonies to publicly read out the passbook of 5 million yuan for the marriage of her mother's family. But when the two divorced a year later, the man found that his ex-wife's dowry of 5 million yuan came from his relatives' patchwork. The mother-in-law explained that because the man's family was relatively wealthy, the woman could not lose face, so she borrowed money from relatives to "support the scene", and the money was returned to relatives one after another on the night of the wedding.
Zhang Jing pointed out that this kind of practice of borrowing bride price to compare is quite common in many places across the country, and some places have even launched bride price loans.
Difference. The Chinese bride price custom began with the six rites of the Zhou Dynasty's "Rites", in which "Na Zheng" refers to the man's family giving a dowry to the woman's family, which means that the marriage contract is officially concluded.
Hu Jingyang, an assistant researcher at the Jiangsu Academy of Social Sciences, pointed out that the bride price is a kind of etiquette, and through the public ceremony of paying the bride price, the man can show his financial ability and willingness to bear the cost of marriage, while the woman accepts the bride price and pays the opportunity cost of not being able to enter into marriage with other people.
In recent years, with the development of economy and society, the continuous improvement of people's material living standards, and the structural imbalance of the sex ratio of the marriageable population, the standard of bride price has been continuously improved.
A number of experts and lawyers have told China News Weekly that the occurrence of bride price disputes is inseparable from the increase in the amount of bride price. Zhang Jing believes that the main reason for the low number of bride price disputes in the early years was that the amount of bride price in the past was not high.
Liu Shengfei, a lawyer at Guangdong Fang Zeli Law Firm, pointed out that bride price disputes are more likely to occur in areas with relatively large bride price amounts. For example, he said that the bride price in Guangdong and Guangxi is between 10,000 yuan and 30,000 yuan, because the amount is small, the lawsuit for the return of the bride price after divorce is relatively small, but in the north, especially in the Central Plains, the amount of the bride price is relatively large, and even some families are married in debt, once the purpose of marriage is frustrated, there will be more bride price disputes.
A search on the judgment document website on the basis of the bride price found that as of January 29, 2024, there were 176989 documents, of which Henan, Anhui, Hebei, Gansu, and Shandong ranked in the top five.
A questionnaire survey conducted by Hu Yunhong, a professor at the National Judges College, to judges in 25 provinces and cities across the country also showed that the number of disputes over the return of marital property was geographically more in the west and less in the east, and more in the north and less in the south.
The characteristics of urban-rural differences in bride price disputes are also prominent. Zhang Jing said that the city's bride price is more symbolic, and the real beneficiaries of the bride price are two young people, who will be used in the new family after marriage. When the two break up, if they are not married, are in the stage of cohabitation, and involve the issue of gifts, it is relatively happy to return to each other after explaining the law to them, and it is rare to go to court.
The reason behind such a refreshing return is that the beneficiaries of the bride price are different in urban and rural areas. In cities, the subject of the dispute and the refund of the bride price is often the same subject, which is easy to decide. In rural areas, it is possible for the woman's parents to receive the bride price and the man's parents to pay the bride price, and it is difficult to reach a consensus on the number of participants who have changed from two to six.
In fact, as the amount of the bride price increases, more attention has been paid to the use and destination of the bride price. In rural areas, the village manager told China News Weekly that the bride price is a heavy financial burden for the man, and for the woman, the decision of whether to bring it back to her husband's home and whether to repay the debt together can be a hidden danger to the marriage.
Zhang Jing said that in some rural areas, the patriarchal mentality is serious, and they think that the girl who marries out and the water that spills out, "I raised you so big, you must give me the same return." What's more, there will be a "bride price exchange", where the woman's parents take the daughter's bride price money to pay the bride price to their son or buy a house.
Therefore, almost all disputes over the return of the bride price are sued by the man against the woman. Liu Shengfei said that the overall dispute is divided into two categories, most of them are not married, and the husband asked for a "settlement" of economic transactions when they were separated; A small number of people are married but have not lived together after marriage, or the marriage age is very short, and the man asks for a refund of the bride price and banquet fees.
Gambling. The parties to a bride price dispute are not in the same position in court. Liu Shengfei and Zhang Jing both said that in the spirit of the "Judicial Interpretation" implemented in 2004, as long as the man did not achieve the purpose of marriage, and the reality was inconsistent with the woman's promise, he was "deceived" by the woman, and the property paid was not a bride price but a request from the woman for various purposes, or emphasized that the woman was not faithful to the marriage after marriage, or hid in her mother's house and did not come back, "in short, it is not a good life", and the relevant proof of payment was submitted, and the demand for refund would basically be supported.
In the case of the woman, it is necessary to prove the fact of cohabitation, prove that there may have been pregnancies, miscarriages, etc., and also prove whether the bride price is used for the expenses of living together, such as rent, travel, consumption, etc. If the woman has evidence to prove the joint use, the judge will make a deduction accordingly. "But the problem is that it's hard to prove because people don't have the awareness to preserve evidence," Liu said, often leaving them in isolation.
Zhang Jing observed that for a long time after 2004, the main work of judges was to characterize the monetary transactions between men and women. A grassroots judge in Jiangsu told China News Weekly that the difficulty of distinguishing between ordinary gifts and bride prices has become more challenging with the change of payment methods, such as whether the large economic transactions transferred by WeChat and Alipay are bride prices for the purpose of marriage or gifts to express love and enhance feelings.
A grassroots judge in Henan Province told China News Weekly that in judicial practice, if the flow of the bride price is used as a living expense for both men and women, it is difficult to provide evidence, and it is more difficult for the court to determine the proportion of refund.
Gao Jihong, a lawyer at Jiali Law Firm, had such a case last year. Mr. Wang and Ms. Li from Shanxi Province met through social media in August 2019, and the man transferred 500,000 yuan to the woman on the spot at the engagement banquet, and a year later, the two registered their marriage, and the man's family transferred another 500,000 yuan to the woman.
About half a year after the marriage, the woman found out that the man was cheating, and the woman chose to separate from the man after the communication failed. After half a year, the woman received a court summons from the man to sue for divorce. Since the two had lived together for a short time, had no children, and had no joint property, the man demanded that the woman return the bride price of 1 million yuan.
In court, the man claimed that the woman claimed a huge bride price through marriage, that she was disabled due to a traffic accident after marriage, had no job and no income, relied on the financial support of her parents to maintain her daily life, and paid the bride price caused difficulties in life, and submitted evidence such as bank remittance vouchers and diagnosis proposals.
Ms. Li believed that the man was seriously at fault in his marriage and had improper relationships with multiple women, and provided screenshots of chat software records and WeChat screenshots to support this. She said that although she received a bride price of 1 million yuan, all the bride price has been used to decorate the house where the two parties live together, buy jewelry, hold weddings, and wedding trips, and some of it has been withdrawn by Mr. Wang, and all the expenses have now been spent. Mr. Wang only recognized that Ms. Li had purchased a diamond ring of 200,000 yuan by herself, and did not recognize any other expenses.
Finally, the judge pointed out in the judgment that Mr. Wang was disabled and that the large amount of medical expenses and other expenses would inevitably lead to difficulties in his future life, and in order to balance the interests of all parties, although Ms. Li argued that the bride price had been fully spent, she did not provide any evidence to prove the expenses of the bride price except for the cost of purchasing the diamond ring. Considering factors such as the amount of the bride price, the duration of the marriage, and the joint expenses, the court determined that Ms. Li should return the bride price of 300,000 yuan to Mr. Wang in accordance with the law.
Gao Jihong told China News Weekly that the man himself has no job and depends on his parents to support him, and the bride price is paid by his parents who are doing business, and his actual life is not difficult. In other words, it does not meet the situation of premarital payment under the Judicial Interpretation and causes hardship to the payor, but the judge will use his discretion to balance the interests of both parties when making a judgment to show fairness.
Liu Shengfei also pointed out that in judicial practice, if the "amount is large enough", it will also be regarded as a bride price by default and will be returned in accordance with the judicial interpretation. According to his experience, "the amount is large enough", in the south is basically 10,000 yuan, in the Central Plains, taking Henan as an example, the standard for large amounts is very low, for example, the Intermediate People's Court of Zhoukou City, Henan Province, has made it clear that the scope of the bride price is limited to more than 500 yuan in cash or valuables.
Zhao Qin of Zhengzhou, Henan Province, under the relentless pursuit of a divorced man who is more than 20 years older than her, the two have been in love for nearly three years, during which Zhao Qin was twice pregnant and miscarried, and the man spent more than 4.2 million yuan to purchase a set of real estate in full in order to give Zhao Qin a sense of security, and signed an agreement to make it clear that the property is a gift from the man to the woman in order to maintain and enhance the relationship between the two parties, not a bride price for the purpose of marriage, and the gift will not be revoked in any form.
Later, Zhao Qin discovered that the man was not only unclear with his ex-wife, but even had a long-term affair with his best friend. In anger, he was no longer willing to marry the man and proposed to break up.
The man then sued for a refund of the purchase price of 4.2 million, even though the woman submitted the agreement between the two to the court and confirmed that there was no coercion or fraudulent signing, but at the end of October 2023, at the first instance, the court ruled that the agreement was a "bride price" for the purpose of marriage, and if the woman did not want to get married, the property would be returned. Zhao Qin appealed, and the original judgment was upheld in the second instance.
Liu Shengfei said: In fact, there are indeed large economic exchanges between men and women who do not aim to get married, and there are also many men who give women a lot of money just to make them not ask for marriage. However, judicial practice also tacitly assumes that as long as it is a large amount, it is a bride price for the purpose of marriage, which is difficult to effectively connect with the reality of the social marriage and love model, and "judicial practice does not keep up, and it is difficult to achieve fairness in many cases".
Ran Keping, a professor at the Law School of Wuhan University, also pointed out that in the past, the "Judicial Interpretation" adopted an "all-in-one" approach to the return of the bride price, which "seems to be fair but is actually unfair", ignoring factors such as the fault of the parties in specific cases, the length of time that both men and women have lived together, and the actual use of the bride price. This is clearly unreasonable.
Change. On January 18, the Supreme People's Court (SPC) issued its latest regulations on bride price. The "Provisions" clearly point out that the reverse exclusion of the payment of property in three circumstances belongs to the category of bride price, including gifts and gifts of small value paid by one party at special commemorative points such as festivals and birthdays; Daily consumption expenses for the purpose of expressing or enhancing feelings on one side; Other property of little value.
Article 5 of the Provisions points out that if both parties have registered their marriage and live together, and one party requests the return of the bride price paid in accordance with custom at the time of divorce, the people's court will generally not support it. However, if the period of living together is relatively short and the amount of the bride price is too high, the people's court may determine whether to return the bride price and the specific proportion of the bride price based on the actual use of the bride price and the dowry, comprehensively considering facts such as the amount of the bride price, the circumstances of living together and the circumstances of pregnancy, and the fault of both parties, as well as local customs.
Article 6 of the "Provisions" makes it clear that if the two parties have not completed the marriage registration but have lived together, and one party requests the return of the bride price paid in accordance with custom, the people's court shall, on the basis of the actual use of the bride price and the dowry, comprehensively consider the facts of living together and the circumstances of pregnancy, the fault of both parties, and other facts, combined with local customs, determine whether to return the bride price and the specific proportion of the return.
In Zhang Jing's view, the "Provisions" conform to the current social status quo and integrate the concentrated feedback on the problems found by front-line judges in the specific process of handling cases in recent years. Many lawyers and judges believe that the "Provisions" are more detailed and specific, which is convenient for women to find the right direction for their defense, can better protect their own rights and interests, and is conducive to guiding lawyers to prepare relevant evidence in litigation in a more targeted manner. For judges, the rules of trial have become clearer.
However, Lu Dewen, a professor at the School of Sociology of Wuhan University who has been observing urban and rural society for a long time, pointed out to China News Weekly that it should be noted that in many places, the man needs to give the woman the "three golds" before marriage, and the value is not small. Gao Jihong also believes that although the "Provisions" distinguish between bride price and general gifts, how to divide the amount of bride price, and the time and method of payment still need to be clarified.
The issue of discretion was also raised by respondents. Liu Shengfei believes that the "Provisions" are in the first article.
Articles 5 and 6 will make judges have more room for discretion, and judges in different regions will have conflicting judgments due to differences in local economic development and personal perceptions.
He mentioned that a child of a wealthy family in Guangzhou had paid more than 3 million yuan to the woman, and when the relationship broke down, the judge held that more than 3 million yuan did not pose much pressure on the man's family, and it was different from the nature of ordinary families who devoted their whole family to raising a bride price, so it did not constitute a bride price.
In addition, both the 2004 Judicial Interpretation and this year's Provisions are difficult to fundamentally resolve and curb the endless problem of bride price disputes. Liu Shengfei said that with the soaring amount of the bride price, the meaning of "profit" in the bride price is heavier, and it is difficult to solve it by simply issuing or updating judicial interpretations.
In fact, with the vicious incidents of bride price disputes and social contradictions caused by high and sky-high bride prices, more and more documents have been issued to curb the bride price. Since 2019, Document No. 1 has put forward the issue of governing sky-high bride price and high bride price several times.
In 2020, the Ministry of Civil Affairs issued the "Guiding Opinions on Carrying out Pilot Work on the Reform of Marriage Customs", and in the following year, 32 national experimental areas for marriage customs reform were identified in two batches, involving 22 provinces and cities. In order to curb the high or even sky-high bride price, some localities have set up special funds to vigorously promote collective "zero bride price" weddings, party members and cadres children to take the lead in "zero bride price" marriage, and the bride price issue is included in the performance evaluation scope of village cadres.
Ran Keping emphasized that the bride price, as a custom rooted in the folk and has existed for thousands of years, is a special "area of life" that existed before national law, and legislation can only reasonably regulate it on the basis of respecting existing customs. As long as the social basis for the production of high bride prices still exists, the effect of trying to adjust the high bride price through administrative means is bound to be limited.
Although relevant laws and regulations have been regulating the bride price, the bride price covers the traditional marriage customs, including the equality of men and women, the concept of marriage and love between the sexes, as well as various factors such as people's livelihood economy, family life, and marital happiness, and assumes complex social functions, and it is difficult for social groups to reach a consensus on the issue of bride price, and it is also difficult for bride price disputes.
China News Weekly).