A handful of bananas, broke one for my brother, and said, "Take it quickly, eat it quickly, be careful for a while, and you will want it when you wake up." ”
Then, it was the sound of the cabinet being lowered, the sound of them going out and closing the door, the sound of my heart crying.
There was no one left in the family, and they all went to the temple fair.
I sat up alone, packed up my gift basket, and went out the back door, tears streaming uncontrollably.
Walking in the village, I didn't dare to cry out loud, but I couldn't help but cry.
When I got out of the village and came to the road, I began to cry loudly, crying and walking back.
Ten kilometers away, I walked all the way and cried all the way.
That day, I was really sad and sad, not because I didn't eat that banana, but because I knew that I had never been loved.
Since then, I have never been to my aunt's house again.
got married and divorced, and never took the initiative to contact my aunt again.
Their children got married, married a daughter-in-law, my uncle was hospitalized with cerebral palsy, and my aunt had Alzheimer's disease.
From that day on, they no longer seemed to hide their dislike for me, their dislike for all the children in our family, their strange words to us, their meddling in the conflicts between us and our uncle, and so on.
However, these don't matter, they have become complete strangers to me.
This is something I will never be able to reconcile with them in my life, and it is also a hurdle that I cannot overcome.
A little thing, just a little thing.
and the second uncle is also because of a trivial matter.
After the death of the second aunt, the second uncle took two children.
The conditions at home are better than ours.
Dad asked us to often go to the second uncle's house to help cook, even if it was to help light the fire, after all, the second aunt was gone, and he was always afraid that the second uncle would not be able to do it alone.
At that time, we were seven or eight years old, innocent and carefree. In the era of scarce resources, a pack of instant noodles and an apple are so tempting.
Once, the second uncle exchanged grain for a bag of apples, and we played with a few children from their neighbor's house, and the second uncle gave each of the neighbor's children an apple, but our three sisters watched as others ate apples, and watched the second uncle tie up the bag and put it back in the cupboard.
I went home and never went to their house again, and no matter what my dad said, I stopped going to their house to help. My younger siblings would go occasionally, but I never did.
The second uncle fell ill and died when my brother was in junior high school, and my father held a funeral for him, and on the day of the burial, all the children had to go to the funeral, and I secretly got into the house from under the locked door of the house, and lay alone in the bed, I didn't want to go, because of the apple, even if he died, I didn't want to go to the funeral.
Everyone looked for me everywhere, and then my father came home and found me and dragged me to the funeral.
I didn't shed a single tear along the way.
This is a hurdle that I can never cross between my second uncle, and even if he dies, we can't reconcile.
The conflict between me and my second uncle's cousin also stems from a small matter.
After the death of the second uncle, the elder brother, who was still in junior high school, was taken care of by his father.
No matter how much I hate my second uncle, no matter how bad he was to us, but we are naturally kind and still willing to take care of our weak brother.
No matter how difficult it is to live in school, my father will give it to my brother first and let me wait for a few days.
Once, during the Chinese New Year, when it was about to be eaten, my brother was still in his old house, worshiping his parents.
My father asked me to call him for dinner, and I went to his house to look for him.
He sat on the threshold of his home. I called him several times and he didn't move. I said everybody's waiting for you, you can't always be here and everybody's waiting, right?
Who knew that he actually stood up and slapped me hard.
I was really stunned by that slap. I don't know I'm wrong about this. I was able to slap a teenage high school student in the face.
I don't think he's too young to know anything. There was only a year difference between me and him. We're both high school students already.
If I said something insulting to him. Words insulting his parents. I was beaten, and I deserved it.
But I was simply urging him to eat.
Later, when I returned home, my aunt who was visiting the New Year actually accused me and asked me what I had said, which made my brother cry.
That's when I learned what malicious speculation was. He hit me, but he cried and cried because his parents were dead, so everyone thought that I must have hurt him to make him so sad.
From that day on. I don't have any contact with him anymore, I don't walk together when I go to school, and I don't deliver food to him when my mom asks me to bring him food. I went home to eat at a table and never exchanged a word again.
After graduating from college, his aunt often took him to her home, and later introduced him to a girlfriend and became a son-in-law.
He doesn't go back to our house anymore, even when he was in the most difficult time of junior high school, high school and college, it was my dad who worked to earn money for him to finish all the school, even if everyone only had one mouth at that time, only my dad took action, but now he doesn't come back except for the New Year's holidays.
In the same city, the same young people, there is no interaction between us, there is no connection, we are more like strangers than strangers.
Maybe in his heart, he is under the fence when his parents died, and we take care of him by looking at people's faces.
In my heart, the slap that day, the accusations that everyone made to me that day, his silence with tears in his eyes, is the reason why we will never be able to reconcile.
Every year during the Chinese New Year, they will come, and they will all sit at the same table to eat, and I am always the one who serves the dishes, and they will symbolically persuade me to sit down and eat together, and I will also respond with a polite smile, no need.
However, where is there any true love in my heart? I said don't hurry to go, but I want to go quickly!
In fact, how can this not be true in their hearts!