Hello, I'm Ziyu.
Mo Yan, the first Chinese Nobel laureate in literature, not only reveals the complexity and truth of human nature, but also incorporates his unique insights into life. In an interview, Mo Yan mentioned a wisdom of life:Be smart, and if you are not informed of the affairs of your relatives and friends, you should pretend that you don't know, and don't ask about it afterwards.
His life experience and wisdom have brought us some profound enlightenment on how to live in the world, and provide us with a new perspective to see and deal with the relationship with relatives and friends.
In life, each of us has our own privacy and also has our own living space. Not taking the initiative to ask questions, not taking the initiative to inquire about other people's privacy, is the least respect for others.
If there is no sense of boundaries, taking the initiative to ask or listen to these relatives and friends without knowing much about the situation may make others feel uncomfortable, which can lead to a very embarrassing situation.
Really smart people have a good sense of proportion. They know when to speak and when to shut up. They tend to see the problem clearly and know that there are some things that don't need to be asked, and some things that are just to the point.
1.Keep an appropriate distance
In the process of socializing with relatives and friends,We should keep an appropriate distance, neither overly intrusive nor unduly distant. We can take proper care of their lives, but not overly inquisitive or meddle in their private affairs. At the same time, learn to maintain your own independence and living space, and not to be overly dependent or interfere in the lives of others.
2.Learn to be silent
Without understanding the situation of others, it is often better to choose silence than to ask. Sometimes, we don't know the specific situation or needs of our relatives and friends, and it can be uncomfortable or embarrassing for them to ask questions. Confucianism advocates "gentleman's words", and sometimes, it is better to leave some space for others.
3.Understanding and acceptance
Sometimes, some things from relatives and friends are not told to you, and you may not understand and do not agree with them. You may wonder why the other party doesn't tell you about such a familiar relationship. That's when you need to understand and accept. Everyone looks at things from a different perspective, and it is not what they think is necessarily right.
A similar situation happened to a classmate of mine, surnamed Yang.
He has a cousin who has a good time, Xiao Zhang, who was fired at the beginning of this year due to the company's downsizing.
For most of the year, he has been unemployed because he has not found a good opportunity.
However, Xiao Zhang did not tell him about it.
My classmate Xiao Yang, from other relatives, accidentally learned about Xiao Zhang's situation.
He wanted to ask Zhang what his current situation was and if he needed help introducing him to a new job.
But after thinking about it, Xiao Zhang is a more arrogant person, and he definitely doesn't want Lao Biao to know about his dismissal.
So, Xiao Yang pretended not to know about it, and did not ask or interfere in Xiao Zhang's life.
From time to time, he inadvertently invited Xiao Zhang to come out to "drink two glasses" and talk to him about life, but he took the initiative to pay the bill and did not let Xiao Zhang break the bank.
Xiao Yang's approach not only avoided Xiao Zhang's embarrassment or discomfort, but also maintained the brotherly relationship between them.
If others don't take the initiative to tell you about relatives and friends, you should pretend not to know. It's a smart thing to do.
This kind of behavior is the embodiment of a person's "sense of boundaries" and "respect for others", and it is a kind of wisdom to avoid embarrassment and maintain a harmonious relationship.
In real life, we should apply what we have learned, face all kinds of contradictions in interpersonal relationships maturely and rationally, so as to maintain our relationships with relatives and friends, and become a wise person who is "comfortable" in social relationships.