Local Tales The youth of a girl with low self esteem

Mondo Psychological Updated on 2024-02-17

Fourteen years old, cardamom years, Sheng Kai is in junior high school, although there is no decent school bag, no new bicycle, and the teachers and classmates of the new school, Sheng Kai must be very unfamiliar, but she is longing and curious in her heart.

The former friends in the village talked and laughed in twos and threes, and went to middle school together. Like a flock of sparrows, chirping non-stop, but pleasant.

But just a few days after the start of school, the beauty in my heart was shattered. The school collects money every day, today's tuition, tomorrow's book fee, the day after tomorrow's principal fee, the day after tomorrow's miscellaneous expenses, alas, life is sad to death! Every night when he went home, he had to muster up the courage to ask his father for money, and his father's attitude was two, either scolding the child, or drinking alcohol without squeaking, so that Shengkai was cautious and did not dare to come out.

There are older sisters and younger brothers and sisters in Shengkai, and life is really hard, and useless fathers can only be angry with their children. Born to cry or cry. Even today, thirty years later, Sheng Kai still dislikes and even dislikes his father.

The students in the class came from the surrounding villages, especially the girls, and they all rode brand new bicycles, except for the black bicycles that were worn out and even had no supports. Students must lean their cars against a tree within the school fence to be stable.

Sheng Kai has an extremely low self-esteem, and never talks and laughs with the girls after school at night, but pretends to go to the toilet, and when they are gone, he rides home alone. That year, Sheng Kai barely smiled, had no friends, was depressed, depressed, and hung over his head.

At noon, the students all brought their meal money to the door to buy their favorite food, pies, fires, and twists. Shengkai didn't have any money for food, so he made steamed buns and cakes from his mother in the morning and packed them in plastic bags. Sheng Kai was very afraid of the strange eyes of his classmates, so he could only bite the bullet and finish eating quickly.

A snarky girl in the back row will always pout and say, "Brought from home again?" There was an air of disdain in his words. Sheng Kai was powerless to refute her. But there will also be kind-hearted girls who comfort and say: "Your mother's steamed steamed buns are so white." ”

Sheng Kai thanked her from the bottom of his heart and gave him enough dignity. She is a girl with long wool curly hair, white and clean, with two cute little dimples, and her family is also good, and she has only one sister. Thirty years later, she must be very rich.

At that time, although everyone was not very wealthy, there were many sisters in the family, and the food and clothing were not as good as now. But the conditions for Shengkai's family are really so poor that Shengkai doesn't even have a decent winter coat.

Sheng Kai remembers very clearly that he was wearing a men's leather jacket at that time, gray and gray, which was not worn by his aunt's family in Dalian and was mailed. Sheng Kai especially disliked it, but there was no choice. She never cries or loses her temper. Because it won't.

Later, about the bicycle, my mother mentioned it, saying that after watching them ride to school with Xiaoling and her mother, my mother cried when she entered the house and sat on the kang, because Xiaoling was riding a new bicycle, which was beautiful. Mother felt sorry for Shengkai.

At that moment, Sheng Kai was relieved, because she knew that her mother's difficulty, her mother insisted on buying a new one for Sheng Kai, even if it was to borrow money, to maintain the child's minimum face, but the father refused, saying that the money was not spacious, and he would talk about it later. Sheng Kai hated his father, felt that he was irresponsible, selfish, and had no children in his eyes at all. It wasn't until the second year of junior high school that Sheng Kai had a long-awaited new bicycle. Sheng Kai was finally able to go out with them.

Now that I think about it, the poverty at the beginning brought not only material scarcity and shortage to the children, but also the inability to build self-confidence in a lifetime. When there are many people, they don't dare to show themselves at all, they always wrap themselves tightly, and whoever is kind to themselves is very moved.

During the winter vacation of the first year of junior high school, the school was popular for make-up classes, mainly English, and the English teacher said that it would be made up for 20 days and 30 yuan. In the early nineties, make-up classes were cheap. Several girls with good family conditions have a lot of discussions and want to go. I didn't squeak, I didn't mention it when I went home, and I said it in vain, it's already very good to be able to go to school, don't ask for make-up classes. Later, I learned that those girls went to the English teacher's house to make up for the lessons, and they were so envious.

There are also some things that make life happy. Once the algebra teacher checked the homework and praised the student in front of the whole class, because the question of the meeting, the student opened the neat work, and made a red mark next to the question that he could not do, and was praised by the teacher for doing the problem seriously, and drew the key points where he did not understand, so that the teacher would listen to it when he spoke.

Sheng Kai was very moved, but he didn't expect that a small gesture would be fully recognized by the teacher. Growing up so big, I felt like someone for the first time.

In art class, the teacher was an old man in his fifties, kind eyebrows and kind eyes, and he painted a picture with his heart, and was praised by the teacher, saying that the structure of the house and the big tree was very good. This provoked several girls around to ask Sheng Kai to draw a picture on their notebooks. I'm really flattered! Sheng Kai waved his hand vigorously and said, the painting is not good, but they are unforgiving, naughty and willful, and finally Sheng Kai still painted for them, seeing their happy appearance, Sheng Kai also smiled, recognized and liked, it's good!

In the final geometry exam, Sheng Kai was the highest score in the class, 94 points, two multiple-choice questions were wrong, the teacher praised him heavily, the whole class cast envious eyes, Sheng Kai was too shy to raise his head, but he was remorseful, why didn't he check out those two questions before handing in the papers!

But these little pride did not last long, because after the third year of junior high school was disrupted and re-assigned, talents were produced, and it was no longer the original small pond. Raw and open, the mountains are not visible, and the water is not dewed. At that time, the promotion rate was important, and the teacher paid more attention to the top few students, and even when they went out to practice sports, they were also the top few who went out to practice, because the high school entrance examination included a physical education score (full score of 10). If you can't rank like this, you don't need to practice at all.

After the results of the high school entrance examination came out, Sheng Kai was not admitted to a key high school, and he was unwilling to work, so he went to an ordinary high school, thinking that he would study hard, go to college, and experience the freedom of carrying his bags and flying away. However, the three years of high school are the past that Sheng Kai is most reluctant to mention. Muddy, wasted, and defeated. Maybe it's a matter of IQ, high school courses are too difficult for students, and they can't digest it at all, so they go straight to the end. Wooden, dull, inferior, and timid, Sheng Kai didn't even make a decent friend.

The college entrance examination is over......

Youth is also over ......

end– vernacular proseAbout the Author

Wind swept poplar (pen name), female, from Liaoning, engaged in the clothing industry, like local stories.

This article was edited

Scholars from other places.

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