Nowadays, adults, everyone has one or two mobile phones, and they are brushing their mobile phones every day, watching Douyin Kuaishou Xiaohongshu Weibo**Jingdong to buy things, WeChat chat, and small games, in short, as long as there is time, they will brush and watch, as if they can't stop at all, for fear of missing something. Very few people who can stop are either really busy and have no time, or they have very strong self-control and have something they like, such as running, playing badminton and other sports, which one do you belong to? Let's start with myself. From getting on the bus in the morning, it takes about 50 minutes to get to the company, and then 50 minutes to swipe your phone. Then in the company, that is, when I go to work and at noon, I brush my mobile phone, about two hours, and it's not good to brush too much. Get off work at 17 o'clock in the afternoon, take the bus home for 50 minutes, and swipe your phone for another 50 minutes. After going home, sometimes play with the child, or accompany the child to study, and when I am not with the child, I also brush the mobile phone, and it is about an hour before lying in bed. Then lie in bed at nine o'clock, from half past nine to eleven, and swipe your phone for another hour and a half. Now about 40% of the time is spent on Douyin, and the rest of the time is Toutiao, Zhihu Baijia and so on. Before, 90% of it was Douyin. Douyin does have many attractive places, there are fresh things, ancient crafts, beautiful scenery, and funny repertoire, which is the impact and attraction of the visual to people is greater, far greater than the written word. In this way, I spend about five and a half hours a day scrolling on my phone.
My child is now in the first grade, when he was younger, two or three years old, he took an adult's mobile phone and clicked randomly, scribbled, and then clicked on WeChat, sometimes there will be ads, these ads, they are all game applets, just click on it, and click on it to play. The small games are relatively simple, just like **, very suitable for children to play, three-year-old children will basically learn it in a while. As soon as you play it, you will be addicted, and you may stop when you are tired of playing and have other things to do. At that time, I didn't usually care much, as long as the time was not particularly long, I let her play. Now that I'm older, I can play that kind of upgrade game, and I can also **APP by myself. I feel that the attraction of the mobile phone is greater, I want to play with the mobile phone when I get home from school, and the adults don't dare to take it hard, so I can only persuade each other, and add a little deterrence, her mother is powerful, most of them will listen, but sometimes I can't find it, I don't know when she started playing, and I may only find out after playing for an hour. It's always like this, and we don't think it's the way to solve it. At work, I used to ask the leader when a certain task would be completed, so that I could be prepared. I thought about giving the child a limited time to play with the mobile phone, and discussed it, and when the time was agreed, he couldn't play, and the adult was responsible for supervising. Actually, I've done this occasionally before, and most of the time it's pretty good, and she's pretty good at following the rules.
Nowadays, some children have myopia early in their eyes because of looking at their mobile phones, and even other more serious diseases. Because children look at their mobile phones, they don't eat on time, they fall behind in their studies, and they may watch some unhealthy things. It's really time to control, it's time to manage!
Personally, it is not recommended to directly prohibit children from looking at mobile phones, which may make children more rebellious, have mood swings, resist their parents, and even have disgust. Adults should allow children to see, see appropriately, and controllably. Other times to play with your children. For example, buy some handmade toys, science experiments, interesting and interesting things, and adults play with children. In spring, summer and autumn, you can also go out more with your children, eat at night, finish your homework, go out for a walk, play badminton, run, jump rope, it should be good. Our adults like to play poker, and the children also learn to play with it, and now they can play together, and it's good to play for half an hour when it's okay. There is also an idiom game similar to poker, idiom solitaire, which makes the idiom into small cards, just like poker, and then puts the cards in the order of idiom solitaire, which is sold online. Some time ago, I also bought a bunch of paper-cuts, and the child cut a few at night when he was fine, and the paper flowers cut out were pasted on the glass, which was very good-looking, and the child was also very interested. It would be better if the child could have a few good friends, occasionally find a place to play together on weekends, and if they are in a community, they can play together and do homework together after school. Children are actually lacking companionship, mobile phones exist as their companionship, and mobile phones replace parents, so we must regain the status of companionship!
Once on Douyin, I saw a female junior high school student arguing with her mother, which was particularly fierce and intense, that is, the child did not do what her mother wanted, and then the mother wanted to force the child, and the child resisted fiercely, and the father next to him didn't care. In many cases, this forced education has the opposite effect. So don't force your child to look at their phone.
On Douyin, I often see some children who are very good, they can read in the first and second grades of primary school, can memorize hundreds of poems, can communicate in simple English, and can do some small physics experiments. These children should not look at their phones at home. The most important thing for this kind of child is the family environment, that is, the parents may not look at the mobile phone at home, do not watch TV, and even have no TV at home (there should be many such families, I once bought a house and saw a few of them), and the parents rarely look at the mobile phone at other times, and the children do not even have the environment to look at the mobile phone. Children are masters of imitation, and they imitate from an early age, imitating the behavior of their parents, and their words and deeds will be imitated everywhere. Liang Qichao's family is three academicians, and the other children are also experts or scholars in various fields, I think this is the environment.
Take the time to write a children's code of conduct, restrain the children in the family, and then read it to her and ask her to sign it. It reads as follows.
Children's Rules:
1. Rules to be followed and related punishments.
1. From Monday to Friday (or other school days), you should not play with your mobile phone more than once, and it should not exceed 20 minutes. Adults are responsible for supervising the time of the card, and it is best to set a fixed alarm on the mobile phone. If it exceeds 20 minutes, it will be a violation of the rules, and the opportunity to look at the phone tomorrow will be automatically canceled.
2. On weekends or other holidays, the time spent playing on the mobile phone should not exceed three times a day, each time should not exceed 30 minutes, and the total time should not exceed 1 hour. (i.e. you can play 2 times for 30 minutes at a time, or you can play 3 times for 20 minutes at a time). After the regular time, the following holiday will be reduced by 30 minutes.
3. Get dressed and eat by yourself in the morning. It is best to supervise the preparation of clothes for the next day at night. Adults are not allowed to feed them. Adults who feed food will be fined 50 yuan, and the number of times they play with their mobile phones on school days will be cancelled for one day. The fine will be placed in the child's deposit box. The deposit is made by the child and the adult knows that it is reasonable to spend.
4. After school, you should take the initiative to arrange study time and complete homework in time. The study time is guaranteed to be no less than 40 minutes. The principle is 20 minutes each for Chinese and 20 minutes for Mathematics. Reading does not count. Less than 30 minutes to cancel the school day and play with the mobile phone number a day.
5. Turn off the lights and go to bed before 9 p.m. from Sunday to Thursday, every week.
On Wednesday and Saturday, you can listen to stories on your mobile phone. Listening to the story should not exceed 30 minutes. Turn off the lights after 9 p.m. and cancel the number of times you play your phone on school days for a day.
6. You should take the initiative to help adults do housework within their ability, such as serving dishes, wiping tables, and mopping floors. This article is encouraged. Revised, after the third grade.
7. Clean up your own toys, and adults are responsible for supervision. After studying in the evening, adults are responsible for supervising and tidying up the desktop.
8. Go to Wanda at most once a month. Go to Han Duoduo at most once every two weeks. That is, go to the mall to play games up to twice a month. If the number of punishments exceeds 4 times in the month, the opportunity to go to Wanda next month will be cancelled. If you go to the mall more than 6 times, you will be canceled from going to the mall.
9. Do not scold, beat, smash or drop things. If you find a swearing, you should immediately close the door and reflect for 20 minutes, and if you do not recognize the mistake, continue to close the door and reflect for 10 minutes, and each stage is 10 minutes until you realize the mistake. One level at a time.
Hit people found, verbal warnings, and cancel school days to play on mobile phones the number of times a day. If you still don't listen to the warning, follow the closure reflection and cancel the number of times you play your mobile phone on school days for two days. The same is true for smashing and dropping things.
10. Don't play poker or lose your temper.
2. Other punitive measures.
1. Each punishment should be registered. See registration form.
2. In case of serious violation of the above circumstances, it may be implemented in accordance with the rules of closed reflection as appropriate.
3. Rewards. In principle, the content of the reward is the child's active behavior, rather than the passive and supervised behavior.
The reward shall not exceed 50 yuan at one time, and the total reward shall not exceed 50 yuan in one day. Scrape together 100 yuan to settle once, hand over the cash to Li An'an, and put it in the deposit box.
1. Take the initiative to help adults do housework within their ability, such as serving dishes, wiping tables, and mopping floors. If the time exceeds 15 minutes, the reward is 20 yuan. Not enough time is not rewarded.
2. If the number of punishments per month is less than 3 times, you can ask to buy a toy, ** no more than 150 yuan or 100 yuan in cash. Don't want toys this month, you can only discount 100 yuan in cash.
3. Other circumstances that can be rewarded.
These rules will be implemented from January 13, 2024, with a probationary period of one year. Provisions may be deleted according to the actual situation.
If you have any good suggestions, please feel free to discuss.