1 Just after lunch, my nephew's classmates came, and my sister-in-law saw that the little girl was beautiful and cute, so she took fruit snacks and chatted with the little girl in the study......While chatting, the nephew went to the bedroom to get his mobile phone and wanted to teach the little girl to play games ......
After a while, my sister-in-law's cell phone rang.
When my sister-in-law saw it, a text message from my nephew: Mom, go back to your house and sleep, don't be a light bulb!
2. There is a teacher in the school, and the family has a traditional Chinese medicine tradition. When the students in the class were sick and asked for leave, he would take a look first, and some of them would even prescribe some medicine. Those who want to pretend to be sick and ask for leave can't pass the test at all, and slowly affect the children in other classes, and finally they were reported by students as illegal doctors!
3 The young lady next door seemed to be out of love, crying all morning, I saw that this was a good opportunity, quickly cleaned up, and took out the housekeeping skills to make lunch, invited her to come over and chat while eating, gentle comfort, she was full of food and drink and moved to me: "Thank you, really, I will treat you as my brother in the future!" ”
4One winter, one of my buddies collided with an old man on a bicycle, and both of them fell to the ground.
The buddy didn't dare to move, and after more than 20 minutes, the uncle got up and asked, "Young man, are you okay?" ”
My buddy immediately got up and said, "Uncle, if you're okay, I'll be fine." ”
In winter, I lay on the ground for more than 20 minutes!
A new bar was opened near Unit 5, and the boss's daughter was beautiful and fragrant, and my colleague Xiao Li liked it at a glance. Since then, Xiao Li often accosted the girl on the grounds of drinking, and the two of them had feelings after coming and going. Just when the two finally achieved positive results, Xiao Li caused stomach perforation and liver cirrhosis due to excessive drinking. Xiao Li, who was lying on the hospital bed, sighed and said: What a disaster!
6 "Master, I was already dark, but in the summer, I get even darker, and others make fun of me, what should I do? ”
Without saying a word, the master leisurely opened the temple door and let the sunlight shine in. I understand Master, you're telling me to open my heart and not care what other people think, right? ＂
No, the old man just wants to see clearly, where are you, donor! ”
7How can I be pretty?
Child A: Sticking cucumbers, my mother sticks them at home every day.
Child B: Sticking papaya, my aunt always sticks it.
Child C: Paste eggs! (It's really difficult).
Child D: Sticking potatoes, my mother-in-law pasted my hands.
Little Boy E: I've put mango peels on them!
8. The boss greeted a staff member and said, "You have been working in the company for a year, and you are doing very well!" At first, he was only responsible for the distribution of letters, but after a week he started to handle sales, and a month later he was promoted to sales manager, and after only four months, he was promoted to vice president. Now that I'm retiring, I want you to be the new president and general manager of the company, what do you think?! ”
The clerk said, "Thank you!!
Boss: "Nothing else to say?" ”
Staff: "Thank you......Father! ”
9 Walking on the road with my little cousin, I saw a handsome guy, and I was crazy in an instant, and then the little cousin said, "Sister, you are waiting for me to help you ask for his mobile phone number" and instantly felt that my brother was also sensible. As a result, after a while, the handsome man came up to me and said, "Beauty, can you take care of your children?" He pulled me by clothes and said that if he didn't give me his mobile phone number, he would call the police and say that I had abducted and sold children."
10The man was anxious to go to the toilet, and when he came to the toilet, he found that there was a long queue in the toilet, so he said to the person in front of him: I can't hold it anymore, can I go to the toilet first?
The man in the front queue took out a piece of paper from his pocket and wrote: You still want to cut the line, you can at least speak, I don't even dare to speak!
11 At noon today, I was shopping in the mall with my girlfriend, and when I went down the stairs on the second floor, I broke my foot, and a good-looking little brother came to help me, I was a little nervous, pushed his hand away and said, "No, I can walk by myself." ”
Later, I limped away with my cousin's shoulder, and my cousin said, "Sister, you are really single by your own ability." ”