When facing the separation of relationships, we usually can't let go of what we used to be very, very good, and some promises that the other person has given us, so sometimes what we can't let go of is actually that we continue to live in the past.
But if we want to let go step by step, we really have to practice looking back at the past, and then thank the past for having such a good experience.
Say to yourself: In the past, I grew up with each other, supported each other, and had a lot of intimacy, both mental and physical, but these intimacy was actually nourishing, and we grew a lot in these intimacy. 」
If the relationship has to go to the stage of separation now, then please look back and be thankful for that time spent with each other.
The reason why many people find it difficult is that they have a lot of unwillingness, but in fact, unwillingness is sometimes another situation, that is, the other party treats you badly in the later stage, and you will feel that you have to make the other party very painful, such as relying on not getting a divorce to see what the other party can do.
But when we rely on it like this, we don't feel happy; On the contrary, this kind of grasping will make us lose sight of the fact that we actually have the opportunity to be happy, or that we have the ability to create happiness without this relationship.
So one of the important things is that you will be very sad, frustrated and disappointed in this process, but in this process, you can also reflect on what happened to the relationship and come to this point; Because the relationship will be separated, in fact, two people have to learn to take on this responsibility, what is this relationship homework for us to learn?
Many people think about it carefully in this process and find that what this marriage wants him to learn is to love himself well, because when we are invested in grasping the marriage, we are not loving ourselves enough, we are all afraid of being abandoned, so we can't nourish ourselves well and increase our abilities, and the reality deepens and realizes the fear in our hearts.
And sometimes what we have to learn is, can we learn to love others? Because seriously, in the time of divorce, if the other party is a little more mature, he can tell you how he feels in the marriage, maybe he will say that when talking to you about something, you refuse to communicate, or he can't talk to you about anything, because as long as you talk, you will break down and be sad.
It means that your acceptance in the relationship is small, but the anxiety is strong, once you are in a very anxious situation in the relationship, the other person will not be able to talk to you about anything, because you will be very afraid, you will have a great emotional reaction, which will make the intimacy or depth of the relationship very difficult, and then the other person will feel that the relationship is not nourishing, or even unable to feel loved, or that the way he wants to get love is not satisfied.
At this time, a third party is very likely to appear, and the third party here may not be a real person, but it may also be a job or other hobbies, and you will spend less and less time together, and your relationship will naturally become weaker and weaker, and finally your relationship will no longer be nourishing.
Therefore, in a divorced relationship, we really need to think more deeply about what happens to make the relationship lose its nourishment and lack a sense of belonging. February** Dynamic Incentive Program