The joyful atmosphere of the Spring Festival is getting weaker and weaker, today is Monday, and most workers have returned to the workplace.
Last night, my two children said to me, "Mom, wake me up at half past seven tomorrow morning, and I'm going to continue my winter vacation plan!" "I was relieved to hear that, but I didn't expect too much.
After all, their routines have been disrupted in the past ten days, and under the influence of adults, they only go to bed after eleven o'clock, and they will wake up after nine o'clock.
I also got up late from half past five to half past seven, and the same is true today. As soon as I woke up, I quickly got up and went to fulfill my promise yesterday.
At the time, I thought to myself, "Whether they can get out of bed is secondary, what matters is that I will do what I promised them." ”
This idea comes to mind now, based on two meanings:
Clause. First, I pay more attention to my own deeds.
Clause. Second, whether the children can do what they say is their business, and I have not interfered or tried to use their plans to control their thoughts.
While I was washing up in the bathroom, the two children got up one after another. That's a full two hours earlier than their wake-up time during the Chinese New Year.
Seeing them wander to the bathroom door, I was pleasantly surprised and said, "Wow! You're really up! That's amazing! ”
After listening to this, the two of them immediately felt a lot of energy, and they both had smiles on their faces, and they looked very accomplished.
It's now past nine o'clock, I finished cleaning up the kitchen and started to code, and the two children have already been studying in their respective rooms for more than ten minutes.
I am a more casual person, and I am very content that my two children can reach the current state. If you want your child to have a sense of planning and want your child to learn to arrange their own learning content and life content, you can take a look at my experience sharing, maybe there is some reference value.
For a person to be able to do something, he must first know that there is such a thing. When we never make a planner and never instill the concept of planning in our children, they will not be able to take the first step.
Therefore, if we want to make children have a sense of planning, we first need to present it to children.
The first time I made a holiday planner for my children was about 2019 (because the electronic version of the content was changed by them and could not be traced, the first ** in the paper version was collected in 2019).
That year, my daughter was in first grade and my son was in third grade. On the first day of the holiday, I took them to the computer, opened excel**, and began to guide them to say what they wanted to do during the holiday, what they wanted to do and when they planned to complete it, and then entered them into **, and after reaching an agreement with them, they printed it out and pasted it in a prominent position.
I took them for about two or three sessions, and then the two kids came up with the idea of doing it themselves. Until now, the winter vacation schedule for 2024 has been proposed by them and completed by them independently.
If it's someone you're planning a lot, it might be smooth to guide your child. If you don't make plans very often, then when you first plan with your children, you will inevitably know how to deal with it or feel unreasonable after you have done it.
In this case, we must learn to take it step by step and not fantasize about achieving it overnight.
When making a plan for the first time, allow yourself to be imperfect, your child's ideas to be imperfect, and the plans you have made are imperfect.
Don't try to be foolproof and print before you execute. Therefore, it is very likely that the schedule has been done for several days and is not satisfactory.
You need to make a version of the planner that everyone thinks is okay, and then follow the content first. When you find that a certain item is not suitable, cannot be completed, or is contrary to the status quo, you will return to the computer, modify the content with your child, and then print it out and continue to implement it.
This is called "deviation correction".
We must have the courage to correct deviations, and we must also have the ability to correct deviations。Moreover, this ability will help the child in his studies and future work.
In the past few years, we have done task lists and schedules.
For the winter vacation of 2024, what my daughter does is a schedule – in the order of the timeline, work out what to do in each time slot. What my son does is a task list - which tasks need to be completed each day one by one, there is no requirement for a specific time to complete, and which one is completed is checked under which item.
These are the ways they have figured out how to plan that they feel are right for them. I fully respect their choice and rarely interfere.
If a child wants to take the initiative to do something, it must be of positive value to him. For example, it can bring them happiness, let them grow, get praise from their families, and get a sense of control and accomplishment ......
But what if parents erase all these positive values? Will he still like it?
If he is excited to make a plan, we start to restrain them according to every item on the list, control them, and criticize them in ridicule and attack language when they can't, such as:
That's what you made with your own plan, why not do it according to the plan? ”
If you can't do what you write, what else can you do? ”
Once we control and supervise in this way, the child will become more and more resistant to the schedule and hate it more and more. They will think that if they hadn't made this plan, they wouldn't have been so ridiculed by their parents and wouldn't have been so stressed.
Will they take the initiative to make a vacation schedule for their next vacation?
Most likely, not.
Because what people are willing to do over and over again will not be something that causes us pain.
February** Dynamic Incentive Program
Therefore, parents should look at this matter with a tolerant mindset and use the "positive reinforcement" method to encourage their children to implement the plan. What is "positive reinforcement"?
It is that our eyes only focus on what the child is doing well and ignore what the child is not doing well. When we see that he has done it, we immediately give it recognition and praise. When they don't, we pretend not to see, not to criticize, not to deny, not to ridicule.
In this way, children can develop a positive psychological experience, so that they can maintain their enthusiasm for the planner and gain more and more sense of accomplishment and self-confidence in the process of doing so.
When this event brings positive value to the child, it will enter a virtuous circle.
Have you learned?
end——Author: Haoyue Long Song.
It is not easy to be original, and plagiarism must be investigated.