Winter vacation life check-in
Every child has the experience of lying, and behind every lie, there is a child who needs to be understood and paid attention to. As parents, we need to understand the reasons behind our children's lies and understand how to help them develop the habit of honesty in the right way.
Children lie, probably because they can't distinguish between their imagination and reality. In this case, parents need to help their children recognize reality. Sometimes, children may excitedly share stories of their trips to a place at a class meeting, but in reality, they have only seen a certain place on TV. Parents need to guide their children from an early age to distinguish between reality and fiction, and at a certain age, they should learn how to suppress their imagination and maintain reality.
In other cases, the child may lie with good intentions. Their hearts may be in a warm place – helping others, fulfilling some wishes, or fulfilling their ambitions. In this case, parents need to affirm their child's kindness and use understanding and patience to teach their child the difference between thinking and acting.
Sometimes, children may also lie out of fear. They are afraid of rejection, of being ostracized by their peers, or of being threatened. In such cases, parents need to help their children ease their fears, build the right sense of self-esteem, and develop their skills in socializing with their peers.
Most commonly, the child wants to cover up his mistakes. They are afraid of parental reprimands, of losing their dignity and of losing their freedom. At this time, parents need to face it calmly. Strict education will not solve the problem, but will create more lies.
Rousseau once said that children are not born with lying, but are influenced by parents and teachers. This may be because everyone wants to be praised by others and avoid being scolded and criticized. Therefore, a strict family atmosphere often makes children choose to lie.
Therefore, parents need to make changes. First of all, there should be a relaxed and democratic atmosphere in the family. Children need to feel that their acceptance and care is unconditional, despite their parents' principles and demands. At the same time, parents should also give their children as much choice as possible, so that children have the opportunity to communicate with their parents about their needs, so that they can understand that as long as they can convince people, their opinions can be valued.
Second, parents need to replace reckless accusations with heuristic conversations. For example, if a child makes a mistake, parents can say it in a calm tone"It's a bad thing, but I'm willing to help you and see if we can find a better solution"。Doing so will help children feel understood and help them develop problem-solving skills.
We already have a more comprehensive understanding of the psychology and coping styles of children lying, but it is more important for our children to really learn to have honest and open communication with the people around them. We need to understand them with love, guide them with care, and let their hearts find the most suitable place between love and honesty. In this way, they can not only build a deep personality in the process of growth, but also move forward bravely on the road of life.