Although there is already a high bride price market in eastern Henan, the newly married Yan'er faces the phenomenon of vacant new houses and separation between the two places, the direct cause of which is that the new family is burdened with heavy debts before it is formed. This phenomenon can be interpreted from the perspective of intergenerational differences in family strategies, which is not only affected by the bride price market, but also constrained by the change of family unit and the evolution of marital attitudes.
At the level of the family unit, the contract of marriage actually marks the transition of the individual from one family unit to another. With the reform of the market economy, the acceleration of population mobility, and the impact of modern family culture, the attitudes and strategies of the father's family towards the marriage of their children have also changed. The family marriage model has gradually transitioned from the traditional "from the husband's residence" and "from the wife's residence" to the "family marriage" and "two-end marriage" models that emphasize more on the independence of the new family, the equality of husband and wife, and the reduction of marriage costs. Although the parent family provides support to the offspring, this support is actually more focused on the individual child and is based on the realization of the parental family strategy rather than the child's new family. This fundamental difference in intergenerational relationships has led to an escalating cost of marriage for offspring.
First of all, the self-interest-centered marriage strategy of the parent family directly pushes up the marriage cost of the offspring. The marriage strategy is still centered on vertical intergenerational relationships rather than on new family units. While both families provide support to the newlyweds, this support is essentially for the sake of the paternal family strategy, not for the independence needs of the new family. Through the bride price, the process of preparing for marriage and the wedding ceremony, the father-generation family mainly pursues two strategic goals: one is to realize the last support for the original family members through the centralized delivery and contractual fulfillment of material wealth, and ensure that the children have material security after entering the new family. In cases where parents ask the man to buy a house, such as Xiao Zhou's story, it is to provide a stable living environment for the daughter. The second is to consolidate the social status of the father-generation family in traditional societies and expand the relationship network through the marriage relationship of children. This also explains China's long-term emphasis on the phenomenon of "matching the family" between the two parties to the marriage.
Second, the marriage strategy of the parental family conflicts with the new changes in the social environment in which the offspring live. With the development and transformation of the urban housing market, the strategy of the parental family is no longer applicable to the marriage of the offspring. In rural areas, parents may borrow money to prepare bride prices and wedding homes, while contemporary young people face the financialization of urban real estate, and the complex regulations of the housing market woven by **, financial institutions and real estate developers. This makes it more expensive to buy a home, stricter requirements for repayment ability, and longer stress cycles. Especially for the "post-6070s" and "post-95s" groups, the logic of the existence of marriage houses and their loans has undergone fundamental changes. As a result, what was once a "life task" that the parent family could bear has now become a "life challenge" that requires more investment and may bring risks and stress to the newlywed family. Many young people choose to marry later, have children later, or simply not marry and have children, in order to reduce the burden on their parents' families and at the same time reduce the pressure on their own lives.
Why does this generational difference in family strategies affect the new families of the offspring? There are three main reasons: First, rural young people who have just entered the urban society lack the accumulation of resources, and if they want to settle in the city, they need the resource support of their parents. Secondly, in traditional societies and cultures, there is a strong sense of intergenerational ethical responsibility, and the parental family believes that it should support the offspring to start a family. During my New Year's greetings, I learned that even in the face of certain financial pressures, many fathers still expressed their willingness to prepare for their children's marriage, and stressed the importance of honoring their parents. Finally, many newlyweds are still in the transition stage from lovers to husband and wife, and have not yet formed a sense of community and corresponding family strategies based on the new family. Therefore, it is a common phenomenon to temporarily accept the marriage strategy of the father's family.
In summary, due to the overdraft support of the parental family, it may increase the burden on the new family of the offspring. In the face of this situation, some regions have actively carried out actions to rectify the sky-high bride price and change customs, and adopted typical cases such as directly limiting the amount of bride price and promoting "zero bride price" and "group wedding". It is believed that the bride price still has a reasonable function as a marriage custom, but it should be guided to develop in a direction that is more in line with the modern family structure and young people's marriage and love. This means a gradual change in the traditional concept of marriage, from the reproduction and marriage strategy practice of the father's family to the more pragmatic and flexible development needs of the new family. Therefore, young people who plan to start a family should not only enjoy the sweetness of love, but also be fully prepared with resources and emotions to form a new family.