Text|Marriage counselor Liu Jie
Emotional matters, this time and that time.
There are many people who have asked me similar questions: when I first got married, my relationship was so good, why did everything change after I lived? In addition to disgust and hatred for each other, they just want to end the relationship quickly.
The world is changing, people are changing, and marriage needs to be managed. If we are not good at business and do not deal with the problems of marriage in a timely manner, the dissatisfaction between the two people will accumulate more and more, and eventually go to the verge of divorce.
But the problem is that divorce is not a simple matter, and the relationship between many couples has existed in name only, but for the sake of children, or some unavoidable reasons, there is no way to divorce, and they can only live on their lives.
Similar to this, if the husband and wife are exhausted but do not divorce, they will live together, what will happen in the end?
Endure emotional torment
The most direct consequence of the husband and wife not divorcing is the inner torment and pain of both parties.
The emotional link between two people has been broken, and the relationship has become stranger and more difficult to understand each other. Trust and respect for each other will gradually be lost, and the relationship between the two parties will be tense or strange.
At this time, the marriage will fall into a state of emotional stalemate. In fact, they are no longer able to communicate and communicate with each other, and they no longer have any form of intimate contact, living in their own rooms and living their own lives.
In this state of stalemate, emotions will become more fragile and sensitive, and the slightest disturbance may trigger contradictions and conflicts between the two parties, and the relationship will further deteriorate, and the resentment between each other will increase.
When love has faded, when each other's care and understanding have turned into indifference and disgust, continuing to live together is like wearing invisible shackles, making people breathless.
This kind of inner depression and pain will not only affect the mental health of both husband and wife, but also lead to negativity, irritability, anxiety and other emotions in daily life, and the atmosphere of the whole home is extremely devastating.
Hurt relationships and health
If the husband and wife do not divorce, it will also have a certain impact on the social relationship of both parties.
For example, in order to settle this kind of marriage, although the two people at home are strangers, in front of outsiders, they still have to show the love of husband and wife.
This kind of performance and pretending is also a kind of psychological torture for each other. is obviously very tired of each other, and he has to play affection with him, this feeling will make people even more broken.
For another example, the broken relationship between two people can no longer be hidden, and outsiders know that they have a bad relationship as husband and wife.
In this case, you need to face doubts and speculations from friends and family, or all kinds of persuasion and sympathy. This is actually a kind of pressure, which will make you feel more tired and helpless.
Moreover, this kind of marriage, which will live on the basis of life, can also have a negative impact on physical health.
Long-term psychological stress and negative emotions can lead to various physical diseases. For example, insomnia, high blood pressure, heart disease, etc., these can seriously affect our quality of life.
Cast a shadow on the child
Husband and wife are about to live together, and the impact on children is often lifelong.
Many couples say that they can't divorce for the sake of their children, so they choose to live in the future. But in action, it does not take into account the child's feelings, but brings endless harm to the child.
For example, some couples have broken down their relationship and are only bored with each other. The two of them kept arguing and fighting coldly, even in front of the child, without taking into account the child's feelings at all.
Or, one partner has done something that has hurt the marriage, and the other party suffers the pain of being hurt. said that he would say a lot of bad things about his partner to his children, accuse the other party of not being right, and even cry bitterly, which invisibly brought pain to the children.
In a family environment that lacks love and warmth, children can feel lonely, helpless, and lost. They will be confused about their parents' relationship, and even doubt themselves, thinking that they are not good enough for their parents.
This kind of family environment will lead to psychological problems in the process of growing up, such as low self-esteem, depression, anxiety, etc., which will always follow the child and directly affect the child's life when he grows up.
Therefore, when the fate between husband and wife comes to an end, it may be a wiser and more responsible way to face the reality bravely and choose to separate rationally.
Of course, this is not to say that divorce is the only way to solve all problems. Couples can also try to repair the relationship, rebuild trust, and get the marriage back on track. It's not about going to get over and torment each other all the time.
In any case, we should understand that marriage is not a bondage, but a responsibility and commitment. When the relationship can't be sustained, being brave enough to let go is also a sign of responsibility for yourself and others.
If your marriage is also in trouble, you can't live well and don't know what to do, you can send me a private message, and I will teach you to improve the relationship step by step, and no longer continue to suffer.
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