Obviously, both parties love each other, why can't they go together?
A lot of times, it's not that we don't love, it's that we won't.
As soon as you encounter a problem, you will talk to the other party, you will talk, he will pull, pull back, find that this kind of communication is very weak, and in the end you can only give up communication.
Many couples are prone to fall into such a pattern when they get along:Emotional blackmail.
For example, the husband wants his wife to cook dinner for him today, and the wife immediately asks: Do you just want me to cook and do the laundry? The gentleman realized that his wife was emotional, so he withdrew his request. Over time, this repression turns into discontent.
This way of communication is:Emotional blackmail. products.
Emotional blackmail. Manifested as:
When you make a request or make a move, your partner immediately shows feelings of disgust or anger without any communication.
You don't want the other person to be unhappy, you want to avoid conflict, so you have to not make a request, in order to worry about the other person's emotions, force yourself to comply.
You're being blackmailed because you love ta.
This kind of emotional blackmail is not only seen in love, but also often between parents and children.
When a child says, "Dad! Mother! I want to read painting. Although I know that I may not have a high income in the future and life will be hard, this is something I really want to do.
My father may have scolded: "Did I just let you paint after all my hard work?" You've disappointed me! Disappointed!
Mother may cry and say, "You want to paint, but have you thought about your future?" How do you live your life? I'm so old and still have to worry about your future, can you bear it?
The child could not cope with the disappointment of his father and the crying of his mother, and eventually had to give up what he really wanted.
The scariest part of emotional blackmail is:
The only people you can torture are those who love you;
The only person who can torment you is the one you love.
Many people becauseEmotional blackmail. And tormented. In the end, there will be no love.
Love and marriage may still have a chance to break up, but blood and family are difficult to tear apart.
So when your loved one emotionally blackmails you, be careful.
Any emotional blackmail will bring you a tragic villain, so be sure to strike first and strangle this villain in the cradle.
How?
First of all, empathize with the other person's emotions and tell them that you understand their feelings.
Secondly, do not compromise and back down at will, block the other party's emotional blackmail, guide the other party to have a rational dialogue, and let the other party know that emotional communication is ineffectiveWhen the emotions are calmed down, you can have a good conversation.
You know, if you are sad and sad because of the other person's emotional blackmail, the other person will get the desired effect, and may also increase the force and escalate the emotion.
And to interrupt this escalation, you have to have the courage not to rush to compromise, but to keep telling the other person: although I love you very much, the dilemma in front of you is your own choice.
If the other person continues to move their hands and feet, drop things, or even start to harm themselves, you should also be calm, be prepared to protect yourself, and protect the other person.
Many domestic violence has such emotional blackmail, at this time, emotions are no longer the real feelings of the other party, but become a tool of control.
To be clear, just because you don't obey the other person doesn't mean that your love isn't inclusive or great enough.
The real emotional run-in is that you have to "educate" the other person, and at the same time be "educated" by the other party. Stumble together, explore hand in hand, and grow together.