Personality is a person's fixed behavior pattern, and it is also a synthesis of all psychological characteristics. The multiplicity of personality is also known as multiple personality. Each state of multiple personality is relatively independent and autonomous, and can be regarded as a complete personality entity. When people lack self-confidence, lose their values, and can't find the direction or goal of life, people often say that this is "losing oneself", so what does this "self" mean? How can the "self" be "lost"?
First, let's take a look at the main manifestations of losing oneself:
1.The three views are blurred. Without a clear view of the world, values, and outlook on life, or having doubts about one's own values and beliefs, it is easy to be misled by the ideas of others.
2.Lack of purpose in life. I don't have a clear purpose and direction in life, I don't know what I want, and I don't know how to achieve my goals.
3.Lack of self-confidence and low self-esteem. Evaluate yourself too low and have doubts about yourself, including your own abilities and worth. Always see your own shortcomings and shortcomings, and ignore your own strengths and strengths.
4.Fear and anxiety about the future. Uncertainty about the future** to fear and anxiety, worrying that you will not be able to cope with the challenges ahead.
5.Emotional instability. Easily affected by the external environment and other people's emotions, often anxious, depressed or angry, etc., losing control of emotions.
6.Escapism. Escape from real life by indulging in virtual worlds, overworking, or other means.
7.Inability to handle interpersonal relationships normally. Feeling confused or uneasy in interpersonal interactions, prone to feelings of frustration, loneliness, or helplessness, etc.
In fact, the self has three meanings, that is, the id, the true self and the false self. To lose oneself is to not know which of these three "mes" is the real self, or to say which one should be in the here and now.
When people can't recognize the existence of the three "mes", don't know why there are different selves, or don't understand the meaning of different selves, they will be miserable, entangled, depressed, and confused. Many people, especially young people, are disgusted with people having multiple personalities, thinking that it is hypocrisy, personality, and self-expression, which is one-sided. The more roles there are, the more life experiences he has, the more knowledge and experience he has.
In real life, people are often forced to change their faces and play multiple different roles in order to meet the needs of society, which contradicts the fact that people often pursue a constant self. This contradiction can cause discomfort in people and even produce mental illness.
If you can fully understand the complexity and diversity of society, recognize the necessity of individual personality changes, strengthen your beliefs and goals, and grasp your own cognition and mentality, it is not difficult to achieve your true self, and you don't have to worry about "getting lost".
Let's start with the three "I", knowing the existence of the three "I", it is not difficult to grasp the self anytime and anywhere.
1. What is the "self"?
In Freud's concept of psychology, the ego refers to the primordial self, which contains the basic desires, impulses, and life force that are born with it. The id exists in the subconscious, following the "pleasure principle" and seeking to satisfy one's own needs, seek pleasure and avoid pain.
The self has no social concept and is not bound by morality, legal norms, etc. It is an unconscious or conscious agent. Its behavioral goals are survival, comfort, happiness, reproduction, etc.
The ego is more of an animal instinct, or nature, but it has the genes and intelligence that humans are born with, and it is much higher than the instinct of other animals. For example, when people feel hungry, the ego drives themselves to find food to satisfy their physical and mental needs, or to store food, to nurture food, or to snatch food that does not belong to them. When humans like the opposite sex, the ego drives itself to express the emotions of affection and excludes the intervention of other people of the same sex. He doesn't care about the place, the way, or what other people think, he doesn't have the concept of "ethics", he doesn't even care about being shy.
Human beings are the products of nature, and their identities are guided by natural spirituality, which is also the spirituality of the universe, which is the "cosmic consciousness" that dominates all the things in the world, and is an innate energy of the universe, and it is a kind of intelligent energy. It is the universe, or the soul of nature, and this spirituality resides in all things in nature, is a part of all things, and is inseparable from all things, and more precisely, the reason why everything in the world retains its present state is the result of the action of the spirit of nature. The spirit that exists in the human body forms the original soul of man, and some people call it meta-consciousness.
The history of humanity is a history of reproduction as well as a history of evolution. In this process, the genes of the human body are constantly rewritten, and the things that are more adapted to nature in the human body are retained, and the things that are not adapted to nature are eliminated, and it is the spirit of nature (cosmic consciousness) that rewrites the genes. This topic has been covered in my other articles and will not be elaborated on here.
The manifestation of the ego is based on my primordial consciousness, which does not take into account the existence or needs of others or society, which means that the ego's actions are often in contradiction with others or society. As we grow older and accumulate knowledge, reason and morality remind us of the inappropriateness of the id, so people gradually hide the self and replace it with the true self and the false self.
2. What is the true self?
Generally speaking, one's inner, true self is the true self, which represents one's true feelings, beliefs, and values. It encompasses the various emotions, desires, and potentials of the individual. The true self is the self that the individual manifests without being influenced by external pressures, expectations, or social norms. It has both our innate goodness, wisdom and love, as well as the **, stupidity and hatred that breed later(the law of the unity of opposites in the universe tells us that everything contains two sides, there are good and bad, there are good, there are **, there is love and there is hate).
On the basis of the self, the true self has been transformed by knowledge and experience to present itself as both rational and emotional. The true self has the following characteristics:
1.Authenticity: The true self is not disguised or hidden, it represents the true thoughts and feelings of the individual.
2.Uniqueness: Each person's true self is unique because it is shaped by a variety of factors such as their own experiences, upbringing, and personality.
3.Autonomy: The ability of the true self to think and make decisions independently without being controlled or manipulated by others.
4.Integrity: The true self encompasses all aspects of oneself, both good and bad, both bright and dark.
5.Growth: The true self is not fixed, but constantly evolving and improving as the individual grows and experiences.
3. What is a false self?
"False self" usually refers to people's social roles, behavioral habits, beliefs, etc., that they present in their daily lives. He is often a superficial image of an untrue self that a person creates in order to adapt to the environment, meet the expectations of others, or gain recognition. The false self includes traits that we exhibit in specific contexts, such as professional identity, family roles, etc., which may change over time and in the environment.
The false ego hides or suppresses one's true thoughts, feelings, and needs, which leads to inner conflicts and troubles.
The false self has the following characteristics:
1.Pretending: The false self is often presented as a superficial, contrived image to conform to other people's expectations or social norms.
2.Dependence: Pseudo-self relies on the evaluation and approval of others, is easily influenced by the opinions of others, and lacks independent thinking and judgment ability.
3.Sexuality: The false self can cause oneself to show a completely different image in different occasions and relationships, resulting in inner contradictions and confusion.
4.Instability: The false self is based on external factors, which will change with changes in the environment and relationships, lacking stability and consistency.
5.Repression: The false ego suppresses or ignores one's true needs and emotions, leading to inner dissatisfaction and frustration.
In order to make it easier for you to understand the relationship between the four "I", the following is illustrated by a set of formulas:
Self = primordial self (corresponding to the mind).
True Self = Self + Self Transformation (also called evolution, corresponding to the Tao mind or Buddha mind).
False self = self + self-transformation + passive transformation (corresponding to the worldly mind).
Self = self + true self + false self, there is also understanding that self = id + true self, in fact, false self is also part of the self.
Knowing the self, the true self and the false self. The main paths worth exploring are:
1. To know one's own self is to know one's own nature
People will never forget their own nature in their bones, and some people are even infatuated with their own nature and refuse to accept the transformation of society. Some people propose to "emancipate themselves and release human nature", the purpose is not to be bound by society, not to be bound by morality, law and ethics, this "ideal" and the increasingly rational reality of society will inevitably contradict, which is also the reason for some people's inner pain. With the development of human civilization to this day, man is already a highly social "animal", he is no longer an independent individual, everyone is "creating" the common expectation of civilization etiquette, and they all hope that others will become the most civilized and well-behaved people, except for themselves. What a naïve wish this is, reality tells us that it is impossible for human beings to be completely humanized or individualized unless an individual is willing to leave society and return to nature.
Although the nature is "barbaric and primitive, ugly and simple", the nature is like a spirit, which can make people intoxicated and happy, and float like a fairy. We can treasure it and keep it for ourselves to enjoy.
Human nature is basically similar and similar, and understanding human nature helps us understand others, tolerate others, and facilitate communication between people.
2. To know the true self is to know the truest part of yourself
Recognize your own interests and hobbies, your own direction and goals, your strengths and weaknesses. I also recognize my own advantages and the gap with others, which is conducive to my own growth and development.
Knowing your true self is essential for personal growth and mental health. First, it helps us build a positive self-identity and boost self-esteem and self-confidence. Second, by pursuing our true self, we can find purpose and motivation in life to make our lives more fulfilling and meaningful. It's also crucial to understand and accept that the true self can reduce anxiety and depression and release yourself.
Through continuous exploration and reflection, people can gradually get closer to their true self, and finding their true self is finding their true self, and they can achieve inner peace and peace.
When we explore our true selves, we are actually gaining insight into our inner world, our true needs and motivations, and our role and meaning in life. Self-knowledge is the knowledge and understanding of one's thoughts, emotions, behaviors, and potential. This process can help us better understand our own behavior patterns, identify potential areas for growth, and build healthier and more meaningful relationships.
There are many ways in which people can explore their true selves. For example, meditation and introspection can help us temporarily put aside the hustle and bustle of daily life and return to inner peace, so that it is easier to get in touch with our true selves. Building deep relationships and genuine emotions with others, and understanding what others think and feel through communication and interaction, also helps to reveal who we really are. There are also people who choose to express and realize their true selves through art, **, or other creative activities.
3. To know the false self is to know the relationship between oneself and society
There are many social roles such as leaders, colleagues, subordinates, teachers, parents, children, couples, and so on. Different characters need different presentation effects, and it is impossible to present a face and a tone of the same me in various places and scenes, and it is impossible for every identity and role to have a different me. Under the pressure of survival and life, people are always striving for perfection and perfection, which also leads to physical and mental exhaustion, and even disgust and hatred. Some people are intoxicated with a certain "temporary" role, and often regard the identity of the false self as their real self, and when that role is not there, they will feel confused or lost, and in severe cases, they will be mentally abnormal.
Psychology believes that the false ego is a way for an individual to adapt to their social environment. By playing specific social roles, people can build relationships with others and gain recognition and support from others to meet their own social needs.
However, over-reliance on the false self can lead to one's own ignorance of the existence of one's true self, which can lead to an individual's lack of understanding of one's true feelings and needs, which in turn can affect one's mental health and growth.
People live in a society composed of various complex relationships, different roles and different "me" is inevitable, people can not fully show the real me in various places and scenes of society, it is necessary to create a virtual "me", but don't forget the real self, lose the original self.
In summary, the multiplicity of personality presents a number of independent personality states that exist within a person, which are active in different situations and have unique cognitive and behavioral characteristics. And this self tells you that you are a man, a beast, and nothing but it; The true self tells you that you can be a god and become a saint, but you still have to be a human being first. The false self tells you that you can achieve everything, you can have everything, you can be respected and supported, you can be oppressed and humiliated, and you have seventy-two changes, but the false self has to remind you that it is not the true self, and you may be lost. Once a personality disorder appears, it needs to be taken seriously.