Social competence is a child's ability to resolve conflicts and get along with people, people are social animals, and it is difficult for children without social skills to succeed. Dr. Shure's "I Can Solve the Problem" approach, centered on teaching children conflict resolution and thinking skills to get along with others, has benefited parents and children across the United States and many other countries for more than 30 years. Unlike other parenting methods, the "I Can Solve the Problem" approach does not involve parents or teachers telling children what to think or do. Instead, through dialogue, games and activities, children are taught how to solve problems, how to deal with daily conflicts with friends, teachers and family, as well as to find solutions and consider consequences, and to be able to understand the feelings of others, so that they can live in harmony with others and grow into socially competent and confident people. 
Help your child think
As parents, when a child has an argument or conflict with a child, think about what we usually do
Tell your child directly that they shouldn't argue?Should I say sorry to my children?Or don't bother with children who love to lose their temper ?......Many times, we directly tell children what to do, not to teach children what to think when they encounter problems, let alone guide children how to think.
Why is it more important to teach children how to think than to teach them what to think or do?
Just as it is better to teach a man to fish than to teach him to fish, with the right way of thinking, children can decide for themselves what to do, what not to do and why to do it, and they are able to solve problems well.
To summarize the author's way of thinking: ask the child to imagine the feelings of both sides of the conflict, what the consequences of their actions will be, and what are the different solutions, which the author calls ICPS - I Can Problem Solve. 
How to master the way of thinking
First, do some word games, these words are: yes no, and or, some all, before after, now after, the same different.
Word games come from life, and parents can come to them at their fingertips.
For example: This book is yours, not mine;Our erasers look the same, but the sizes are different;Do you plan to play with blocks before eating or after eating?......
These glossaries, which are very common to **, are in fact associated with "I can solve the problem".
By repeating these words in play, children will associate special words with play, and they will be more likely to use them when resolving disputes with children.
These words encourage children to quickly accept and understand problems in the event of conflict.
Second, in the word game, add words of feeling, such as: happy, angry, angry, disappointed, frustrated, ......
The game is still at your fingertips, and you can continue the conversation with your child like this:
Is this book xx's, or is it yours?”
It's xx's "xx doesn't show you books, how do you feel?".”
I'm disappointed "You snatched xx's book, how would she feel?".”
She'll get angry "......."
Many times, the child just doesn't know how others feel, and if he understands what others are feeling, he will take a different approach than impulsively.
Third, further expand the vocabulary practice to include the right time, the right time, if then, maybe, why, because, fair, unfair.
The right time The right time can help your child understand that timing is an important factor in successful problem solving
If then, it can help the child to think about the consequences of the behavior;
Children can think about the impact of their actions on how they are perceived, and how different people can like different things
Why Because these two words help children understand the connection between behavior and consequences;
Fairness Unfairness helps children respect the rights of others and themselves when making decisions.
Encourage your child to have a "I can solve a problem" mentalityDale Carnegie once said, "30 percent of a person's success depends on talent, and 70 percent depends on relationships." It can be seen that cultivating children's social ability from an early age will be the wisdom and wealth that will be used for a lifetime. "Many children express their emotions only by crying, and we need to be constantly guided in our daily lives to help children identify and express their different emotions from others. This way when the child is in trouble and needs help. By describing emotions, emotions and needs, adults can help them accurately. In daily life, children can continue to practice through games, so that children can continue to propose solutions, and children will also propose solutions that are not related to problems. Parents need to explain to their children what kind of answer you want, and let them know what kind of solutions to solve problems are feasible and what are not, which also involves teaching children to learn to consider the consequences later. After the child has said a lot of solutions to the problem, we encourage the child to speak out about the consequences, and we can continue to guide the child to say more about the consequences and record these consequences. Parents clearly tell their children that this is not the consequence of our problem-solving, and let them try to think, in the middle of which the child will be impatient, parents should not be impatient, and encourage children to give more confidence. When a child learns to use the "I can solve a problem" approach, he or she will think about solutions to any problems he encounters in the future, rather than choosing extreme behaviors. Open the door to interpersonal relationships for children, don't let children stop at the door, we must use it often, and we can continue to practice in life, which can also enhance our parent-child relationship. 
Write at the end
The best time to plant a tree was ten years ago, followed by now. The process of parenting is slow, progress may not happen overnight, we need enough persistence, patience and waiting. The development of social skills will have an impact on many aspects of a child's personality formation and life development. Parents should be aware of the importance of their children's social skills as early as possible.
Using this book to enlighten children's social skills can not only help children gain more and faster social experiences, but also make them more confident when establishing a self-evaluation system.