How to properly guide adolescent boys? Real Counseling Conversations Tell You the Answer!
When faced with adolescent boys, many parents feel scrambling. Their words are like a cacophony of noise, and their actions are like an unpredictable wind. But is it really that hard to communicate? As a counselor, I will show you how to properly guide adolescent boys through a real counseling conversation.
Parent: "Xiaojie has been so rebellious lately, he doesn't listen to anything, and he always mixes with children who don't like to study. What am I going to do? ”
Counselor: "First, try to let go of your anxieties. Rebelliousness is a normal stage of adolescence. Can you tell me what was the reason for the last time I had a conflict with Xiaojie? ”
Parent: "The last time I found out that his room was in a mess, I said a few words to him, and he actually slammed the door and didn't talk to me for a few days." ”
Counselor: "It's really hard to deal with. But have you ever wondered why he is so angry? ”
Parent: "Isn't it because I said a few words to him?" ”
Counselor: "It may be true for you, but for Xiaojie, it may touch on some kind of sensitive point in him." Maybe he feels that his personal space is being violated, or maybe he feels that you are always criticizing him and not caring about his feelings. ”
Parent: "....I probably didn't really think about that. ”
Counselor: "Try a different approach next time." Affirm his independence and growth before making your recommendations. For example, you could say, 'I've noticed that you've been thinking a lot of your own lately, and that's good. But I also hope that you will pay attention to the cleanliness of the room, so that you will be more comfortable. 'What do you think?' ”
Parent: "Well, it's milder and easier for him to accept." ”
A few weeks later, the parent came to me again.
Parent: "Thank you so much, counselor! I communicated with Xiaojie according to your suggestion, and now he is not only willing to communicate with me, but also takes the initiative to tidy up the room. I really didn't expect it to be so effective! ”
Counselor: "I'm glad to hear that. Adolescent children need more than rules and restrictions, but understanding and respect. With the right approach, we can guide them to the right path in life. ”
Through this conversation, we can see that the key to properly guiding adolescent boys is understanding and respect. Only by truly putting ourselves in their shoes can we find the most effective way to guide them. Hopefully, this conversation will bring you some inspiration and help.