In Mitch Albom's masterpiece "Meet Tuesday," sociology professor Murray confides in his student Mitch a profound philosophy of life at the end of his life: "If we can understand that we can face death with such a calm attitude, then even the most difficult challenges in life will become conquerable." ”
Faced with the students' questioning, "What is the hardest thing in life?" Murray gave a succinct and deep answer: "Make peace with life." ”
The "peace" here implies mutual understanding and forgiveness, and it contains the "way of loyalty and forgiveness" advocated by Confucianism, that is, the deeply rooted teaching: "Do not do to others what you would not do to yourself".
Therefore, to make peace with life is actually to reconcile one's own heart, to tolerate the emotions of others, and to accept and reconcile the ups and downs of life itself.
This is a kind of wisdom, a state of mind, that allows us to hold on to ourselves and live in harmony in the torrent of life, so as to achieve a double reconciliation between the inner and outer worlds.
Reconcile with yourself
The supreme wisdom of life lies first in understanding the art of reconciliation with oneself. Remembering the memories that should be cherished, releasing the past that should be forgotten; Be brave enough to change what you can, and accept the unchangeable.
The road of life is bumpy, and in the journey of time flies and the years are getting shorter, "it is important to forgive others, but it is even more essential to forgive yourself." ”
Reconciling with oneself means abandoning self-blame, staying away from self-punishment, avoiding unnecessary troubles, and not setting one's own traps of hardship. Let the mind and self coexist in harmony, no longer-for-tat.
When individuals truly reconcile with themselves, those past entanglements and past tribulations will be transformed into majestic strength to forge ahead.
Liu Yong, a master of the Northern Song Dynasty, was born in a famous family, and was determined to enter the imperial examination when he was a teenager, as a lofty ideal in life.
At the age of 26, he stepped into the imperial examination room for the first time, but failed to enter the examination hall as he wished. At the age of 32, he fell into the sand again; At the age of 35, he suffered another setback. A few years later, he still failed to make the gold list.
However, at that moment, it dawned on him. He is well versed in the certainty of fate - the fate will eventually come, and it is futile to force it without fate. Since you can't achieve fame on the road to the imperial examination, why not obey the mandate of heaven, turn around in style, and be a free-flowing literati and ink writer?
So, he resolutely left the field and devoted himself to the community, concentrating on filling in the lyrics.
In the following years, he traveled to the north, south, east and west of the Chinese land, and composed hundreds of new tunes that were popular among the people.
From an unofficial and unemployed scholar to Taishan Beidou, who became the Northern Song Dynasty poet, he climbed to the pinnacle of life on another road.
Peace with self", this is not only a sublimation of the spiritual realm, but also a positive attitude towards life, a profound wisdom of life.
Rabindranath Tagore once said affectionately: "On a deep night, I resolutely burned all the fragments of memory that haunted my heart, and from then on, my dreams were like clear and crystalline waters, unobstructed; On a dawn morning, I resolutely left behind all the burdens of the past years, and since then my steps have been as light as flying and free. ”
May we all be brave enough to reconcile with ourselves in the journey of life, so that we can move forward easily and comfortably on the road of life with a calm and leisurely attitude.
Reconcile with others
Reaching reconciliation with others is essentially practicing respect and care for others. This means not only having the wisdom to compromise and being humble, but also understanding and tolerance, and sowing the seeds of forgiveness in interpersonal interactions.
In the face of grievances and injustices, the spirit of reconciliation urges us to engage in deep self-reflection and rational thinking to transcend the limitations of our personal emotions.
When conflicts and differences strike like a storm, people with a heart of reconciliation will know how to change their perspective and look at problems from the perspective of others, so as to resolve conflicts and promote harmonious coexistence.
The first step in achieving reconciliation with others is to reconcile with oneself in the depths of one's heart, to accept one's own imperfections, and to cultivate tolerance and understanding for others based on this. As Lin Xiangru, a famous minister of Zhao during the Warring States Period, showed, even if he was named "Shangqing" and his status was higher than that of the general Lian Po, he was still able to put the interests of the country first, showing extraordinary forbearance and open-mindedness.
At that time, Lian Po was proud of his high merits, and he was dissatisfied with Lin Xiangru's promotion, and threatened to humiliate Lin Xiangru many times. However, Lin Xiangru was calm in the face of trouble, and whenever he heard that Lian Po was coming, he ordered the coachman to detour the alley to avoid his edge. This puzzled his subordinates, who felt that Lin Xiangru should not back down in this way.
In the face of doubts, Lin Xiangru calmly responded: "Let me ask you, who is more powerful than General Lian and King Qin?" Everyone replied: "King Qin is undoubted." ”
Lin Xiangru further elaborated: "Since I am not even afraid of the might of King Qin, why should I be afraid of General Lian? At present, the Qin State does not dare to offend the Zhao State lightly, precisely because our domestic civil and military forces work together. Please think about it, is it the overall situation of the country that is important, or is it more important to gain or lose personal momentary honor and disgrace? ”
This remark reached the ears of Lian Po, which deeply touched the brave and fierce general, and he felt deeply guilty, realized his own narrow-mindedness and prejudice, and thus opened a new chapter between the two from confrontation to reconciliation.
This historical story vividly illustrates the power of reconciliation to overcome grievances and strengthen unity, and it will serve as a model for generations to come.
He resolutely removed one sleeve of his shirt, exposed his solid shoulders, carried a thorn strip on his back, and went straight to Lin Xiangru's mansion. When he arrived, he solemnly knelt down in front of Lin Xiangru, held the thorn in his hands reverently, and begged Lin Xiangru to punish him for this.
This is the origin of the idiom that has been passed down through the ages and has a profound meaning, "taking the guilt of the thorn".
The heart-wrenching story between Lin Xiangru and Lian Po has gone through the baptism of the years and is still praised as a beautiful story by later generations.
Being able to tolerate the words of others, know how to accept others, and be able to deal with various things calmly is undoubtedly a person's most outstanding and valuable talent. People who respect others will naturally earn the respect of others; Those who can tolerate others will eventually be tolerated by others.
Make peace with life
There was such a proverb that is deeply rooted in the hearts of the people: If someone gives you a steamed bun, you must remember it; When others give you a fist, you must let go and forget. Reaching a reconciliation with life is not only about the choice of attitude, but also reflects the height of a person's mind and wisdom at a deeper level.
Back in 1963, Nelson Mandela was imprisoned on a desolate and remote island for his staunch opposition to the apartheid policies imposed by white South Africans, a misery that lasted for 27 years.
At that time, the three white prison guards guarding him ignored his old age and illness, and brutally tortured him physically and mentally.
However, a new page was turned in history, and in 1991, Mandela was elected South Africa, and the eyes of the world were on him.
Amid speculation that Mandela might retaliate against the three prison guards who had abused him, he made a startling move that shook the world. At the solemn and grand inauguration ceremony, after introducing the distinguished guests from all over the world one by one, Mandela said calmly but firmly: "There are three special guests here today, who were my guards in prison. He then mentioned their names one by one and stood up to bow deeply to the three white prison guards in a heartfelt thanks.
This scene not only made all the guests awe-inspired, but also made the whole world jaw-dropping and deeply admired.
What was it that melted the ice of hatred in Mandela's heart and enabled him to turn hostility into peace?
Nelson Mandela once said fondly: "The moment I stepped out of my cell and into the door to freedom, I became acutely aware that if I could not leave the pain and resentment behind, I would never really be able to get out of that invisible prison." ”
It was this power of forgiveness and reconciliation that led to Mandela's awarding of the Nobel Peace Prize in 1993, a model of tolerance admired by the world.
Faced with the issue of forgiveness and self-acceptance, countless people choose stubborn perseverance rather than relief. Not only do they find it difficult to show a tolerant hand to others, but they are also unable to compassionate their own inner wounds.
They struggle with interpersonal conflicts, neither willing to extend an olive branch of reconciliation to the outside world, nor willing to find a harmonious symbiosis with themselves deep inside;
They resist compromising with reality and refuse to bow to their limitations, so they sink in endless entanglement and pain, and finally have to bear the exhaustion and trauma alone.
When we look at life from different perspectives, we find very different scenes.
Standing on a low floor overlooking, what you can see is the triviality and messiness of life, like domestic garbage everywhere; When you climb to the 80th floor of the skyscraper, the bustling city suddenly reveals itself.
In the same way, when we look up from the ground, a bungalow and a high-rise seem to be worlds apart, but once we rise above the plane at an altitude of 10,000 meters, this difference disappears.
Even when the Voyager 1 spacecraft trekked 6.4 billion kilometers away to look back at home, our blue planet was reduced to an insignificant pixel, and 20 billion kilometers away, the Earth was quietly hidden in the vastness of the universe.
The earth, which hosts 8 billion lives, seems so small on the scale of the vast universe, which makes us reflect: what is there in the journey of an individual's life that cannot be left behind? What kind of estrangement cannot be bridged through reconciliation?
The Japanese Go master Hideo Otake once said: "When you go from the courage to win to the wisdom of harmonious coexistence, your chess skills have truly reached the point of perfection." ”
Therefore, whether we are dealing with others or ourselves, we should learn to let go of harshness and competition.
Life is like a chess game, to solve the mysteries in between, you might as well follow the indifferent ambition of Mori and Liu Yong, learn from Lin Xiangru's generosity, learn from Mandela's belief in peace, and reach reconciliation with life with a heart that embraces all things, so that every step of life can be more calm and open.