People**: You only have one chance to educate your children (parents must read).
There is such a real case of a father who has a successful career and has a wealth of hundreds of millions, but because he neglects his children's education, his children go astray and bring great harm to the family. This father's name is Li, and his son's name is Li, 18 years old this year, and he is already a drug-addicted teenager who often mixes with delinquent teenagers, fights, and even robberies. Li's mother has long been divorced because of her husband's busyness and indifference, and Li Moumou has lacked the care and teaching of his parents since he was a child, and can only rely on hired nannies and drivers to take care of him. Li Moumou's academic performance is also very poor, he has been expelled from school many times since he was a child, and finally he can only go to a private school, but there is no improvement. Li's father, Li, although he was very dissatisfied with his son's behavior, could not do anything about it, so he could only use money to solve the problem, buy his son brand-name clothes, send luxury cars and mansions, and even appear in court and compensate for his son. Li believes that as long as he has money, he can solve everything, and as long as he gives his son enough material conditions, he can make his son happy. But he was wrong, his son was not happy, his son was not grateful, his son did not respect him, his son was just more and more depraved, more and more lost, more and more dangerous. Li's tragedy is that he only had one chance to educate his children, and he missed it.
Li's case is not an isolated case, but a common phenomenon. In today's society, many parents often make some mistakes when educating their children, which will affect their children's growth and future. These errors are of the following types:
Give your child special treatment. Many parents believe that their children are the best, the most special, and the most in need of care, so they provide their children with an excessive sense of superiority, so that they feel that they can do whatever they want, do not have to follow the rules, do not need to respect others, do not have to study hard, and do not have to take responsibility. Such children tend to become selfish, arrogant, complacent, self-centered, do not know how to be grateful, do not know how to cooperate, do not know how to adapt, do not know how to grow.
Think that money and career are more important than companionship and education. Many parents believe that their responsibility is to provide their children with material prosperity and let them enjoy the best life, so they put most of their time and energy into work and making money, and neglect to communicate and communicate with their children, ignore their children's emotions and psychology, ignore their children's interests and hobbies, and ignore their children's dreams and goals. Such children often feel lonely, lonely, helpless, bored, hopeless, and have nothing to rely on, and they will look for some unhealthy ways to fill the emptiness in their hearts, such as drug addiction, gambling, Internet addiction, early love, and even suicide.
Ignoring the validity of the child's growth and education. Many parents believe that their children's growth and education is a long process, which can be slow, can wait, and can be delayed, so they always find some excuses to postpone the interaction and guidance with their children, such as waiting for the child to grow up, waiting for the child to finish the exam, waiting for the child to graduate, waiting for the child to work, waiting for the child to get married, and waiting for the child to have a child. But they don't know that a child's growth and education has an expiration date, and like a fruit, if the best time is missed, it will become rotten and useless. The most important period of children's growth and education is in the child's childhood and adolescence, which is the critical period for the formation and development of the child's character, values, world view, outlook on life, habits, abilities, interests, etc., if in this period, parents do not give the child enough attention, guidance, support, encouragement, motivation, and cultivation, then the child will miss the best opportunity for growth and education, which will affect the child's life.
Ignoring the psychological needs of the child. Many parents believe that their children's psychological needs are secondary, can be ignored, and can be met at will, so they do not pay enough attention to their children's psychological needs, do not have enough understanding, do not have enough respect, and do not have enough satisfaction. They may mishandle the child's psychological needs, such as ignoring, denying, criticizing, ridiculing, suppressing, coercing, controlling, substituting, substituting, etc. Such children often feel ununderstood, unaccepted, not respected, and not loved, and they will have some negative emotions about themselves, their parents, society, and life, such as fear, anger, sadness, disgust, pain, despair, etc. These emotions will affect children's mental health, affect children's interpersonal relationships, affect children's studies and work, and affect children's happiness and joy.
These mistakes are common problems for parents when educating their children, and they are also the reasons for hindering children's growth and future. So, how do parents' education methods and attitudes affect their children's character and destiny? Let's take a look at some examples.
The Children in Metamorphosis. "Metamorphosis" is a reality TV show that shows different family education methods and effects by having some problematic children swap families with some excellent children. In this program, we can see that children with problems are often due to defective parental education methods and attitudes, such as over-doting, over-indulgence, over-strictness, over-harshness, over-indifference, over-control, etc., resulting in some problems in the child's personality and behavior, such as rebellion, violence, laziness, low self-esteem, autism, depression, etc. Excellent children are often because of the advantages of their parents' education methods and attitudes, such as moderate care, moderate discipline, moderate encouragement, moderate requirements, moderate communication, moderate letting go, etc., resulting in some advantages in children's character and behavior, such as filial piety, friendliness, diligence, self-confidence, cheerfulness, optimism, etc. By swapping families, children with problems can be correctly guided and reformed in excellent families, and excellent children can be exercised and grown up in problematic families. This program is a vivid illustration of how parents' education methods and attitudes affect children's character and destiny.
The comparison between Wu Yishu and Fang Zuming. Wu Yishu and Fang Zuming are both children born in celebrity families, and they both have superior backgrounds and conditions, but their growth and future are completely different. Wu Yishu, is the daughter of the famous writer Wu Zetian, she has received a good education from her parents since she was a child, her father Wu Zetian, is a talented, far-sighted, responsible writer, he not only taught his daughter literature, history, philosophy and other aspects of knowledge, but also set an example of integrity, bravery, strength and independence for his daughter. His mother, Wu Zetian, is a caring, wise and tasteful woman, who not only provides her daughter with a warm, harmonious and beautiful family environment, but also cultivates a kind, gentle, elegant and confident temperament for her daughter. In such a family, Wu Yishu has been fully developed, she not only has excellent academic performance, but also has a wide range of interests and hobbies, she not only has a noble temperament and demeanor, but also has firm beliefs and ideals, she not only has close friends and lovers, but also has a broad vision and future. Wu Yishu is a successful child, a happy child, and an admirable child. Fang Zuming, the son of the famous movie star Jackie Chan, has received a bad education from his parents since he was a child, his father Jackie Chan is a famous, wealthy, and influential star, but he did not teach his son any positive values and morals, he is not only often busy with work, ignoring his son's company and teaching, but also often cheating, betraying his son's mother, and causing psychological trauma to his son. His mother, Jackie Chan, is a woman with beauty, figure, and status, but she did not provide her son with any healthy, happy, and normal family atmosphere, she not only often endured her husband's deception, but also often vented her dissatisfaction and grievances on her son, causing psychological pressure on her son. In such a family, Fang Zuming has been distorted, he not only has poor academic performance, but also has narrow interests and hobbies, he not only has vulgar tastes and styles, but also has a negative attitude and life, he not only has false friends and lovers, but also dangerous hobbies and behaviors. Fang Zuming is a failed child, an unfortunate child, and a poor child.
The contrast between Wu Yishu and Fang Zuming is a stark example of how parents' education methods and attitudes affect their children's character and destiny.