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When it was time for lunch, the stewardess pushed the dining cart and asked a young man who was sleeping in a daze what he wanted to eat.
The young man was confused for a long time, and said a shocking Chongqing dialect: "I want to eat hot pot, I don't know if you have it here?" ”
Due to the continuous air waves, the plane was very turbulent, and a beautiful woman soon became ill and became dizzy.
The flight attendant came over and asked her if she needed help, she looked at the flight attendant pitifully and said, "It's so dizzy here, can you open the window so that I can breathe." ”
on flights to Hainan.
A young father is teaching his son: "Son, look, below us is the Atlantic Ocean, the largest ocean on earth. ”
A middle-aged man with glasses next to him corrected: "This is the Atlantic Ocean, it should be too ......."As soon as the word "Tai" came out, he was interrupted by his blushing father, who changed his words and said to his son: "I remember wrongly, it's not the Atlantic, it should be the Taixi." ”
Two Cantonese people, flying together from the plane, chatted happily, the more they talked, the more excited they became, the louder they talked, and from time to time they burst into high-pitched laughter, and the passengers in front and back, left and right, looked at them angrily and with disdain, but no one spoke**.
At this time, an old man spoke: "Your ......."What do the Japanese do? The two Cantonese people were stunned for a moment, not knowing how to answer.
Seeing that they were silent, the old man thought that they were really Japanese, and continued: "Yours, don't talk loudly, I want to sleep ......."”
In just one second, the cabin burst into laughter.
There was a naughty little boy who, while his mother was dozing off, took out a shuttlecock and kicked it in the aisle of the plane.
When the flight attendant saw it, she hurriedly woke up her mother and asked her to take good care of the child and pay attention to safety.
After a while, the mother fell asleep again, and the little boy kicked the shuttlecock in the aisle again. The stewardess woke up her mother again and told her to take care of the baby.
The mother was angry and shouted at her son: "Are you annoying or annoying? Kick yourself out and kick! ”
The flight attendant kindly asked a young expat couple if they needed to prepare breakfast for their baby.
The male customer unexpectedly replied in Chinese: "No, the child eats human milk." ”
To further show her sincerity, the stewardess habitually said, "Well, if your child needs a meal, please feel free to inform me." ”
A guest sitting next to the Airbus 767 toilet called a flight attendant who delivered food: "Miss, ask the master to fry me a fish-flavored shredded pork!" ”
Flight attendant: "I'm sorry sir, the meals on the plane are all prepared in advance, and you can't stir-fry on the plane." ”
The traveler was angry, "Don't lie! He pointed to the bathroom, "I hear the sound of cooking in a boiling pot!"
On a miniature plane sat an American, a German, a Japanese and a Chinese.
Halfway through the flight, the plane suddenly ran out of fuel, and the captain opened the cabin and announced that one person had to jump out of the plane in order to reduce weight and save fuel, otherwise the plane would quickly run out of fuel and crash.
The Americans immediately showed their personal heroism and were the first to go to the hatch and shout "Long live America and all nations", and then jumped!
The plane continued to fly, and after a while, the captain announced that it was still too heavy, and he had to jump alone!
So the Germans stood up, walked through the hatch and shouted "Long live the German Reich" and jumped!
The plane continued to fly, and after a while, the captain announced again, no, it was still heavy, and one more person had to jump down!
The Chinese glanced at the Japanese, got up and walked to the hatch. The Japanese hurriedly came over and held the Chinese's hand tightly: "Good brother, I won't forget you!" ”
The Chinese shouted "Long live the People's Republic of China" and kicked the Japanese down.
During a certain military exercise, a certain squad was ordered to wait at a designated place for a helicopter to come and pick it up, but after waiting for a long time, the plane never arrived.
At this time, the captain saw an old woman planting vegetables in the field, so he stepped forward to ask. In order to make the old woman understand, he asked in such an easy-to-understand manner: "Auntie, did you see an iron bird flying by?" The eldest lady thought for a while and replied, "I didn't see the iron bird, but the helicopter saw one." ”
Zhuge Liang and Liu Bei took a plane together, and suddenly encountered extreme weather on the way, and the plane jolted violently. The flight attendant prompted that the plane was about to fall.
Liu Bei was so frightened that he didn't want it, and hurriedly asked Zhuge Liang what to do.
Zhuge Liang was very sure: "Don't worry, my lord, I have my own clever plan." ”
Liu Bei sighed: "What's the best plan, say it quickly, otherwise it's too late." ”
Zhuge Liang smiled but didn't answer, a few minutes later, the plane was really going to fall, Zhuge Liang calmly sent a WeChat message, and said to Liu Bei: "Lord, I just posted a circle of friends, saying that we committed suicide this time, and my reputation as a god in Zhuge Liang's life is to keep ......."”
As soon as the words fell, the plane crashed. Liu Bei. Zhuge Liang died.
One day, Cao Cao, Zhuge Liang, Sun Quan, and Liu Bei took a special plane together, and halfway through the flight, the plane suddenly broke down and had to parachute to escape, but there were only three parachutes on the plane, how to distribute it?
Zhuge Liang had an idea and said to everyone that he would ask everyone a question, and those who answered correctly would take a parachute, and those who answered wrong could not take it.
The trio agreed.
Zhuge Liang first asked Liu Bei: "How many suns are there in the sky?" Liu Bei replied: "One." Zhuge Liang nodded, and Liu Bei hurriedly put on a parachute and jumped off the plane.
Then Zhuge Liang asked Sun Quan: "How many moons are there in the sky?" Sun Quan replied, "One." Zhuge Liang nodded again, and Sun Quan also put on a parachute jumper.
Zhuge Liang then asked Cao Cao: "How many stars are there in the sky?" Cao Cao stammered, unable to answer. So Zhuge Liang put on the last parachute and jumped.
There was no way, Cao Cao had no choice but to jump down directly, and his life fell into the water and picked up a life.
Soon, the four of them took a special plane together, halfway through the flight, the plane had an accident again, there were still only three parachutes, it was still the old rule, Zhuge Liang asked questions, and the correct one parachuted.
Zhuge Liang asked Liu Bei: "What battle took place two years ago?" Liu Bei replied: "The Battle of Muye." Zhuge Liang nodded, and Liu Bei parachuted.
Zhuge Liang asked Sun Quan: "How many people died in the battle of Muye?" Sun Quan replied: "Thirty or forty thousand people", Zhuge Liang nodded, and Sun Quan parachuted.
Cao Cao thought to himself, Zhuge Liang, this time you are going to plant, I think I know the past and the present, and there is nothing I don't know about the military. Who knew that Zhuge Liang actually asked Cao Cao "what are the names of those dead soldiers", and Cao Cao was so angry that he fainted on the spot.
Zhuge Liang put on the last parachute and parachuted.
Fortunately, the plane fell into the water again, and Cao Cao picked up another life.
Soon, the four of them took the same special plane for the third time, and the situation was the same as the previous two times, this time Cao Cao made a preemptive strike, and without waiting for Zhuge Liang to speak, he put on a parachute and jumped down. As soon as he jumped off, Zhuge Liang held a loudspeaker and shouted to him: "Meng De, you are too anxious, there are four parachutes on the plane this time!" ”
Those intoxicating high humors (8) Those intoxicating high humors (vii) Those intoxicating high humors (vi) Those intoxicating high humors (5) Those intoxicating high humors (4).