In people's lives, we often hear the old saying: "It is in man that he plans things, and he succeeds in heaven." This quote reminds us that while we should strive for what we want, we should be open to the end result.
Otherwise, we will only disturb our inner peace and disrupt the order of our lives.
A mature person will understand that in life, there are some things that we should strive for and some things that need to be let go. Excessive contention over these three things can be detrimental to our interests.
In real life, people are often moved by immediate benefits. After all, benefits can bring material enjoyment. However, there are two types of benefits, short-term and long-term. If a person sees only short-term benefits and pursues only the immediate ones, then he may end up losing more. In the long run, this approach seems a bit silly.
Take the fruit stand I often have in front of my house, for example, I have always been the old there. Because of the mutual trust and familiarity, I always ask the stall owner to pick the fruit for me.
However, I later found out that every time he loaded fruit for me, he would pick the ones that were flawed and had a blackened skin, and kept the good ones for the good ones**. It made me feel very upset, and I felt cheated.
So, I gradually stopped buying fruit there. Over time, business got worse and worse, and eventually it had to close. As you can imagine, this is how the owner operates.
In real life, people who pursue short-term interests too much often harm the interests of others. This kind of behavior, whether it is a customer or a partner, will choose to avoid it after a long time. Therefore, such short-sighted behavior can ultimately cause damage to the long-term interests of the individual.
As we pursue our goals, we should strive for those things that are within easy reach. However, for those goals that are too reluctant, we should let go. Otherwise, we risk hurting ourselves.
A friend I know, for example, bought a house with a monthly payment of 9,000 yuan for the sake of face. However, his monthly income is only more than 10,000 yuan. After deducting living expenses, he has nothing left.
Later, he encountered a job change, his salary dropped significantly, and his life immediately became stressful, and he had to go home to rely on his parents. This kind of behavior is a typical over-reluctance to oneself.
We should have a clear idea of what we are capable of accomplishing. We should do things that are within our ability or a little bit more. Instead of forcing yourself to go to tasks that are too difficult. Otherwise, we will only hurt ourselves.
Overall, whether it's pursuing short-term gain or trying to accomplish tasks that are beyond our capabilities, are behaviors we should avoid in life. We should learn to deal with interests rationally and correctly evaluate our abilities, so that we can live a more harmonious and stable life.
In the interpersonal arena, it is inevitable that people will have discussions, debates, and even arguments about various topics. However, not all communication needs to evolve into a battle of right and wrong. Sometimes, the conversation is just for the sake of lightheartedness and pleasure, without the need to strive for a victory.
Unfortunately, some people are too obsessed with winning and losing, and they always seek an advantage in arguments to try to get the other person to their knees. This kind of obsessive pursuit often leads to the breakdown of interpersonal relationships.
Let me take the example of an old friend who was estranged for some reason. Her reason is that she likes to point fingers too much. Talking to her, there's always a debate tournament if you're not careful, and she's always the one who aspires to be a champion.
Anyone who disagrees with her will be criticized or even corrected by her. It's a debilitating situation.
The art of interpersonal communication is to find common ground and enjoy the similarities between each other, rather than constantly digging into differences.
We should try to have fun and explore each other's common interests, rather than deliberately looking for each other's mistakes.
Remember, pointing out someone else's mistakes won't earn you gratitude, but it may bring your relationship to a freezing point. In order to maintain harmonious social interactions, we should learn to seek harmony in differences, rather than creating contradictions.