I used to have a terrible personality because of my introversion, and I also wanted to have a sunny and cheerful personality that people liked like others, and I always felt powerless. To put it bluntly, you just can't do it, and you will instinctively avoid the unfamiliar environment, let alone strangers. I may have been oppressed by the external environment earlier, or family reasons, bullying is abuse, fighting, isolation, insults, personal attacks, these external grievances accumulate in the heart, coupled with the unintentional negligence of the adults in the family who should have been cared for, these inner knots that have not been relieved in the process of growing up have left me alone. I remember that I was very lively and cheerful when I was a child, and as I grew up, I gradually lost it. I just remember being depressed, depressed all day long, after a long time, my suppressed self could not find a breakthrough, and began to attack myself, staying up late, irregular work and rest, rebellious, doing everything against my parents, the more I was not allowed to do it, the more I wanted to do it. Gradually lose interest in the outside world, lifeless and lazy movement. When it is severe, it will be self-abused, in order to get even a little care from the love of its parents. There was also a conscious episode of dyslexia, which plunged me even further into the abyss. It seemed like I had suddenly become a hopeless sludge.
I also want to have a good future, but how did I fall?Until I had to face the darkness and tear apart the hidden past full of scars. Carrying these makes me stumble on the road to the future, extremely uncomfortable, like a shadow, it is a nightmare that I can't get rid of, it is the palpitation that suddenly wakes up in the middle of the night, it is the forward-looking backwards of rare opportunities, it is the dilemma when it is time to move forward bravely, it is the hesitation when it is time to make a firm choice, it is the inferiority complex when it is time to let go, it is the self-blame when looking back afterwards, it is the three-minute heat of the courage that I finally mustered, it is the fear when facing the challenges of growth, and it is the procrastination when it is time to cherish time.
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