1 The mobile phone was broken, and my aunt gave an old man a temporary machine, which is the kind of mobile phone with extremely large buttons.
As a young man in his twenties, I actually used this thing until now.
Recently, I just arrived at a new unit, and I overheard a colleague say that I have a very advanced calculator, and I can actually play **!
2 Hide and seek with my daughter, she always stood behind the curtains, with her feet exposed, and then told me that it was okay, and then deliberately couldn't find her mouth and had to mumble, "Huh?."Hidden!"The more she laughs, the harder she laughs!
3. A middle-aged man teased with a drinking friend at a bar. The drinking buddy said: You relax in the bar every day, it seems that you are single?The man said, "Yes." The drinking friend said: Isn't your own condition good?The man said, "No, I can charm any woman." The drinking friend said: What are you doing so capable? The man said, "I'm an anesthesiologist in the hospital."
4My buddies practice sports. Use a travel bag to carry two dumbbells to the sports school a day, 60kg.
I met two bag thieves on motorcycles, and I reached out and grabbed my buddy's bag.
And then the motorcycle flipped over!
5 I slept in a daze in the morning, and my wife lay on top of me and coquettishly: Husband, I want to buy a bag?Me: Buy!"Husband, I still want to buy a set of cosmetics?"Me: Buy, buy, buy!The wife happily walked away from ......I didn't expect it, I didn't expect my three-year-old son to lie on top of me: Husband, I want to buy a toy.
6 To this day, my parents still have deep doubts about my IQ, because 20 years ago, it was a Spring Festival, and when I was young, I went to a relative's house in the countryside to play with some of the neighbor's older children. One of my brothers helped me light the cannon in my left hand, but instead of throwing it out, I held it in my hand and looked at it carefully for a while. Then, that afternoon, my miserable cries echoed over the village.
7A judge took his son to the Paris theater to hear a ** meeting, and a soprano was singing a lyrical song. "Daddy, why did that man scare that woman with his stick?"It's not a scare, he's the conductor of the band. "If it's not a scare, then why is she singing so loudly?”
8 girlfriends and boyfriends went to eat buffet, ate a little too much, bulging stomachs, met boyfriend's parents on the way, girlfriends pondered, joked with future in-laws, and touched their bulging bellies in front of the two of them. When her boyfriend's mother saw it, she said, "Girl, are you fat again?"Lose **, no matter how fat I am, my family can't afford to support you!My girlfriend was stunned, this plot is not right, it's not like this on TV!
9A few years ago, my second uncle had several pigs at home. On that occasion, his pigs gave birth to a few cubs, and I was there to watch the fun. As soon as my second uncle saw my cousin, he immediately raised his voice and shouted at the pig: Oops, chubby is so cute!As he spoke, he pulled out a little piglet and hugged it in his arms: We don't have a grandson to hug, we can only hug this!My cousin"Hmph"With a bang, he went to the house!
10I went to a western restaurant with my daughter-in-law to eat, and I was about to eat the steak that had just come up, and my daughter-in-law said to me, "Close your eyes, I'll surprise you." I closed my eyes happily, I felt that this surprise was unusual, and after waiting for a long time, she happily said to me to open it, and then everything in front of me shocked me, both plates of steak were eaten by this dog!
11One of the students said to the teacher, "Teacher, I want to take a leave of absence because I am very sick." The teacher looked at his pale face and said sympathetically, "Well, you can take a day off." But first, you have to tell me what disease you haveThe student replied, "I have 'not wanting to go to school'." ”
12What is the highest state of compassion?
The highest level of compassion is that when you take out a particularly large egg from the refrigerator, the first thing that comes to mind is not to take advantage, but to feel sorry for the hen.
I am in this realm now.