Why do people feel like the road they haven t walked is full of flowers?

Mondo Psychological Updated on 2024-02-01

Yesterday, my friend excitedly told me: I am very interested in short ** and live broadcasts, and I want to try to start from a part-time job first, selling agricultural and sideline products from my hometown. When I get bigger, I can quit my job and do this dedicatedly, with flexible time, and I don't have to work overtime all day and can't take care of my children like now.

I said why do you think you can do it?What do you know and what expertise do you have in this area?Her answer was: I bought a short ** experience class, and she was enthusiastic about the content of the 3-day courseEveryone can be short**, they can broadcast live, why can't I.

I suddenly sighed: why do we feel that the road we have not taken is full of flowers?

Zeng Shiqiang, a master of Chinese management, said: "The main root cause of people's many troubles and pains is that they have a clear orientation in life. The most common unclear positioning of people is to overestimate themselves and take themselves too seriously. ”

I graduated in 2012, and after 1 year of copywriting in a state-owned enterprise, I switched to a large Internet factory to do a new ** operation in the vertical field of real estate, until 2018, when the company began to pay for knowledge, I did the reading section, and began to start a small number after the company's large fans reached more than 100,000.

There are 6 people in the content group, one person is responsible for more than 10 accounts, and I am also in the state of hundreds and thousands of fans, and I will increase the average number of fans by more than 10,000 in a month, and the maximum is more than 100,000 fans.

At this time, a voice has come out of my head: I can open an account and make an IP by myself.

We all listen to the saying: standing on the tuyere, pigs can fly. But I don't understand how this pig makes himself stand on the tuyere, and why this pig stands on the tuyere.

Since then, I have started to enroll in classes and learn classes. I followed the explanation of the teachers in the course to study and analyze the positioning, determine the goal, dismantle the plan, and finally implement it, look at the successful cases of the teachers, and then look at myself, there is no problem with the content course, there is no problem with the successful experience in the past, and the encouragement and support are given to me, so in the end I didn't do it, it can only be my problem!

Is it really the same as I know it?Definitely not!But in my knowledge at the time, I couldn't understand why I couldn't do it well. It will only make yourself fall into self-blame and can't extricate yourself, thinking that all this is the result of not working hard enough, not using enough methods, and persisting for too short a time, that is, refusing to admit that you are not capable.

In cognitive psychology, there is a famous "Duck effect".: Incompetent people have an illusory sense of superiority and mistakenly believe that they are superior to what they really are. And the more you lack skills, abilities and knowledge, the easier it is to exaggerate your abilities and knowledge.

At this time, what we need to do is to have a clear understanding and positioning of ourselves, instead of envying others, or even to follow others and act.

What is a good way to do this: slow down, focus on your heart, and re-examine yourself

Teacher Luo Xiang said: "The poorer the knowledge, the more courageous and proud they have." ”

When I was in school, it was not difficult to find that the higher the ranking, the more students would think that they still had a lot of knowledge that they couldn't master, and there were still a lot of knowledge points that they didn't master. On the contrary, when it comes to classmates with average grades, he will be very proud to think that he is very good.

Mr. Qian Zhongshu said: "If you don't study, you will only be a postman if you travel thousands of miles." "It's not that the postman is bad, it's just that reading can make our thinking no longer rigid, it can take us out of the prison of the mind, and inspire us to resist suffering and move forward.

There may not be a ** house in the book, but there must be a better self. Only by reading more books can we accept it with an open mind, become accessible, not solidified, and not paranoid.

True maturity is to be able to weigh oneself and reflect on oneself in everything.

Harvard University has a very famous experiment on the impact of purpose on life. Scholars followed up on a group of young people with similar intelligence, education, and environment. They found that 25% of people had no goals;60% have vague goals;10% have clear but short-term goals;Only 5% have clear and long-term goals.

Twenty-five years later, Harvard University surveyed the previous group of young people again and came up with a striking result. Those 5% have almost become industry elites, 10% have become professionals in various industries, 60% are ordinary, and 25% are poor and complaining about everything.

In life, many people naively think that I have courage, I have perseverance, I can endure hardships, I will work very, very hard, as long as I work hard, I will definitely succeed, in fact this is a very ignorant idea.

The book "The Most Important Thing is Only One Thing" introduces the goal backward method: long-term goals, 5-year goals, annual goals, monthly goals, weekly goals, and daily goals.

Find time to ask yourself: If there was only one thing that was most important, what would I want to achieve in this life? What am I going to do in those 5 years?So what's the most important thing for me this year?What am I going to do this month?This week, today?

Write your goals down on paperWhen you find your purpose and build it for yourself, everything you do has meaning。There is no purpose, it is useless for you to act every day, you are just making wedding dresses for others, and you are just moving yourself.

In the book "Time as a Friend", it is said that the time of the past has shaped the way we are now, and the time of the present is shaping the way you will be in the future.

Many of us are immersed in the pain and achievements brought to us by the past and can't extricate ourselves, so that it is difficult to reconcile with ourselves as victims or ** people, it is difficult to reconcile with time, and it is difficult to live in the present.

When I work, I think about resting, when I rest, I feel anxious about the future, when I am alone, I feel lonely when I am alone, and I feel noisy when there are many people, in short, I live in a state of alienation, anxiety, anxiety, fear and helplessness.

I believe that there are six categories of the most important topics in a person's life: marriage and family, life and health, work and career, learning and growth, interpersonal relationships, and personal wealth.

We don't want to get a perfect score for each topic, but we want to make sure that each topic passes first. If you just plan one or a few of them individually, and after a long time, you will have a bias, and it will be difficult for you to experience the real sense of happiness.

Master Nhat Hanh said: The highest wisdom of life is to live in the present.

Living in the moment doesn't mean let's be a salted fish and just lie flat. Rather, there is the courage to lie flat and watch ** pass by you quickly. You will stand up on your own when you look at it, either go faster than them along the **, or decide to go against them and open your own way.

In the book "Food, Prayer, Love", it is written: You don't see the world through your mind, but through your heart, you can only bravely give up everything you are familiar with, whether you like it or dislike it, and start the process of exploring the truth, as long as you take what you see and hear in the process as clues, take the people you meet along the way as teachers, and most importantly, as long as you can face and forgive yourself for not being good enough, you will explore the truth.

At that time, even if I saw that the road where others were walking was full of flowers!You won't be envious either, because you've already built your own garden again.

In 2024, we can all find our own purpose and build our own garden.

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