Linlin is a foreigner, studied in a university in Jiangsu, and just graduated from college, she was introduced to her current husband, and soon the two determined their relationship, and returned to her husband's hometown Nanjing together, found a job in Nanjing, and prepared to get married.
Since the man's family has always been in business and the economic conditions are relatively good, he bought a house for his son in full as early as possible, and the house for marriage is not worried.
I was happy to find my in-laws with such good conditions, so I asked her: "A suite of more than 140 square meters in your community costs nearly 5 million, and your in-laws paid in full, it's really not simple, your family must be very satisfied, right?" Are there any other requests?
Linlin said: "The local bride price in my family is relatively high, generally about 300,000 yuan, but when I mentioned this amount to my in-laws, my in-laws were reluctant to pay, I didn't expect his family to be so rich and so picky!" ”
I said, "Is it because your own family's financial conditions are poor and you need bride price support, or does your brother need your bride price to marry a daughter-in-law?" ”
Linlin said: "My parents have always been in business, and the economic conditions are no worse than those of my in-laws, so I will get married!" My brother got married, and my father gave them a house of more than 100 square meters, and gave them 2 million for the wedding. ”
I asked, "Then your family conditions are so good, and you don't need to take your bride price to marry your brother's daughter-in-law, it doesn't matter if you want more or less, right?" ”
She said: "My mother said that the bride price is indispensable, and if it is missing, it means that the man's family despises me." ”
I said: "Nanjing's in-laws will not look down on you because you don't want a bride price, because most of our girls in Nanjing don't ask for a bride price from their in-laws when they get married, I don't have a bride price when I get married, and I have never asked my mother-in-law for a penny for so many years. ”
She said: "But the rule in our hometown is that the heavier the bride price, the more important it is to the woman." If the bride price is less, or if the bride price is not received, the girl will be looked down upon, thinking that there must be a problem with the girl marrying like this, and it is not worth much. ”
I asked, "Your family wants so much bride price, so how much will your parents give you?" ”
She said: The rules of our hometown are the water splashed by the girl who marries, and when she marries, she is a member of other people's families, and she is considered an outsider, and there is no one to marry. ”
I said, "Your own relatives don't respect you, thinking that if you get married, you won't be your own family, how do they want your in-laws to respect you with this kind of thinking and attitude?"
I continued: "We think normally, if a woman wants to be respected by her in-laws, either she is strong or her mother's family is strong. You have only graduated now, you definitely don't have any financial resources, and your mother's family doesn't give you a certain amount of support, so if I were your in-laws, I would definitely have opinions. ”
Linlin disagreed, insisting that the more the bride price was given, the more attention was paid to her, it seemed that this kind of thinking had been exposed to her since childhood, and it was deeply rooted in her heart, and it was difficult to change.
I saw that the persuasion was fruitless, so it was difficult to say anything more, because I had different opinions on this matter, so I didn't know about her situation again, and I don't know how much bride price I received in the end.
However, I later learned from a friend that she has been on a bad relationship with her in-laws since she got married, and the small family needs to buy large items and hopes that her in-laws will help them pay for it.
I have to say that which in-laws would respect such a daughter-in-law?