Text|Mr. Johnson
To get straight to the point, the high bride price is a wrong phenomenon, which should be criticized, condemned, brought down, and abandoned. But for the high bride price, it must be divided into two, so let's take a look at this news first:
According to the news: [Rural parents with a heavy burden under the high bride price] This year, the author went to Shaanxi, Hubei, Henan and other places to investigate, marriage and family problems are quite prominent, specifically manifested in the "hurricane" bride price and miserable parents. It is understood that the national bride price in 2010 around a large margin, basically based on 230,000 yuan, so far at least 10 times. The huge bride price has caused a large number of unmarried men in rural areas, and has also caused many social problems.
I say that the high bride price should be criticized because it objectifies women; I say that the high bride price should be condemned because marriage is regarded as a grand material transaction; I say that I will be defeated because it is a heinous sin; I say that the high bride price should be abandoned because it is not in line with the direction of human history.
But the history of mankind is long, and you have to see which period of history is intercepted, at least in the historical time that we can see, the high bride price cannot be discarded.
Engels once said of marriage: "When patriarchy and autocracy reign with the weight of private property over common property and with the concern of inheritanceMarriage is more dependent on economic considerations.
Engels also said: "Marriages are determined by the class status of the parties, so it is always a marriage that weighs the interests and disadvantages." This trade-off of marriage,On both occasions it tends to become the most vulgar sell, sometimes on both sides, with the wife being the most common. ”
If we carefully read the two passages of Engels, we can basically understand why there is such a phenomenon as a bride price, and why the bride price is basically collected by women instead of men. If we read Engels' words three more times, we will have a deep understanding of why the bride price cannot be discarded.
If love is the sustenance of the feelings of men and women, then marriage is the extension of the sustenance of feelings, extending to the conclusion of the contract. The contract of warmth and affection begins with feelings and ends with transactions; Naked contracts are only for sale. If you understand this, you will understand that love in college often goes their separate ways after graduation.
The news said: "The national bride price has appeared significantly around 2010, basically based on 230,000 yuan, and has been at least 10 times so far." "This is very unusual because it has increased much more than the increase in income over the same period, which is unbearable for many families. But on the other hand, it's normalIn essence, marriage matching is also a result of marketization, and the increase indicates that purchasing power is rising, and this purchasing power is the concentrated embodiment of the country's thriving economy and the improvement of people's income. In this way, the phenomenon of high bride price does not lead to the conclusion that the sky is falling apart, and there is no need to be nervous about it.
Rural parents with a heavy burden under the high bride price This topic is the finishing touch, the phenomenon of bride price in rural areas is the most serious, the hardest hit area, but the important root of this phenomenon is the low competitiveness of men in the marriage market, "the strength of the son is not enough, Lao Tzu's money to make up", it is particularly obvious in the countryside, the day before yesterday I wrote an article "Marry a three-married woman, the bride price is 400,000, do you believe such strange news?" Talking about the ABCD pairing on the marriage match, you can take a lookI refine it further, the more BCD men are likely to pay a high bride price.
Based on this further analysis, based on the advantages of man A in the marriage market, it is often difficult for the woman to ask for a high bride price, because a man is scarce, of course, the woman may also be out of trust in the man's growth, not caring about the momentary cash, but caring about the long-term dividends in the future. From this point of view, instead of worrying about paying a high bride price to his son in the future, it is better to use this money in advance to improve his son's personal strength, and use good steel on the blade to shape his son's growth (even if it is the growth of painting a big pie). After this kind of mentality is adjusted, it will be of great benefit to the development of the family and society.
There is also such a passage in the news: according to the research situation, the idea of "having a son in the past and until a son is born" has been difficult to appear, many villagers are happy to have a daughter, in order to reduce the burden on the family, the villagers who have a son do not dare to give birth again, for fear that the family will be in trouble. A large proportion of over-age migrant workers who are still in the labor market have to continue to work for the bride price.
If this phenomenon is forming, it shows that the idea of preference for sons over women in the countryside is diluting, weakening, and changing, and "it is better to give birth to a boy than to give birth to a girl". In the future, in actual life, it can be gradually and gradually adjusted to the whole society to be more willing to have girls, and balance the structural problems of male and female populations, which is the most effective and substantive governance for the management of high bride price.
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